Here we have a lovely piece about one of the greatest games of the last decade, Xenoblade Chronicles. It’s an “amazing game” says the author, Chris Warcraft of GameInformer. It features an “epic storyline” with “engaging characters” and “fresh combat”.
Let’s instead talk about the one bad thing. WHY ISN’T IT IN HIGH DEFINITION? Why does a Nintendo-developed game have to be on a NINTENDO SYSTEM?
480p? What is this, the stoneage?
I’m a journalist on the internet, so I will now exaggerate a bit more in case people think my point is weak. WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS BRAINDEAD JOURNALIST TAKE THE OPPORTUNITY TO TALK ABOUT A WONDERFUL GAME THEN SHIT ALL OVER IT’S FOUNDERS? I can’t decide whether the technical limitations of this guys brain make me want to projectile vomit or take a 12-gauge to my monitor, and it makes me angry enough to write a whiny article and hold GameInformer accountable, because the game deserves much better. Xenoblade deserves more than a jagged-edged fuzzy rant. It deserves more than a gasping fish flopping up and down on a keyboard forming words. Notice the hyphen in jagged-edged, dickhead. It’s not a band.
Here’s what REALLY got me, the huge contradiction that INSPIRED me to give a shit and flop around in true journalistic fashion,
“I honestly believe that Xenoblade Chronicles could have been this generation’s Final Fantasy VII”
FINAL FANTASY VII – THIS
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? It’s a technical juggernaut, that’s what. Step the fuck aside N64, you’ve got nothing. This was the defining game of the generation because of its graphics.
Even GREAT GAMES have become reasons to troll Nintendo now. Can you POSSIBLY IMAGINE why they’d be hesitant to release something like this to the western media? The SAME MEDIA who criticised Nintendo for holding back games like this?
I for one am sick and tired of it. I’m tired of paid game journalists shitting on their responsibility to objectively review content. I’m tired of seeing Mario games relegated to “casual” quick-snip comments, Im tired of The Legend of Zelda being swept aside in a shitstorm as an example of an UGLY MUDDY BROWN game. I’m tired of Xenoblade Chronicles, the game everyone asked for, being thrown under a bus and used as an example of WHAT’S WRONG. It was wrong when we WEREN’T GETTING IT.
Xenoblade on Wii looks better than most 360 games I own – resolution means jack shit. How did videogames ever make it through three decades if they were all ugly and underpowered? I can still be amazed by my N64; good design will always be evident no matter what the limitations are. Limitations are FOREVER EXPANDING – how can you ever appreciate anything with this mindset? Xenoblade on Wii U would look ugly in ten years in this journalist’s eyes. It’s a destructive way of thinking and this guy should be muted, not quoted.
But hey; hits, drama. CONFLICT! Not the best way to generate traffic, but certainly the easiest. Thanks for the free rant.