Nintendo NEEDS you to shut up

I’m sure you’ve all seen the tired arguments, Nintendo “needs” to get more third party support, they “need” to put more core gigaflops in Wii U, they “need” to offer ten different controllers. Well sure that’d all be great, why not throw in ten free games with the console too.

They don’t fucking need to do anything but make games. Nintendo is a shitty business, they exist because they make incredible games. They’d fucking float out to sea and die if they jumped into the world of viral marketing and backstreet handjobs against Microsoft and Sony. It’s not a happy place. These companies are content to throw away billions of dollars a year and never make a cent on their gaming consoles, just to look good. Sony’s lost money 4 years straight by tugging on developers cocks and getting dirty. They’ve lost all the money they made in the PS1 and PS2 era, the two most successful game consoles of all time. Not only that but game studios within Sony are being closed left and right. If Nintendo started pissing in the wind they would have nothing left.

I’m sick of Nintendo being held accountable for the timid, undecisive nature of other game companies. Let them RUN THEIR OWN AFFAIRS. Hold THEM accountable. Nintendo can not, and should not try and run other companies. If they offer Rockstar 50 million dollars for Grand Theft Auto, Microsoft will offer them 100 million. It’s a dead end. Let developers invest in a PS4 / 720 game, let them fucking die in the desert if the game they spent a fortune to make has no userbase. Let them port their old games to Wii U and ignore the new controller. They are the ones who should be held accountable. 2K Games aren’t bringing Bioshock Infinite to Wii U? Pester THEM about it.

“According to Satoru Iwata, Nintendo is “open to Wii U exclusives”, but they are not willing to pay developers for it. Iwata told gaming trade publication Gamasutra that they do not wish to enter a costly bidding war with the likes of Microsoft in order to get a title exclusive to the Wii U console. However, Iwata did point out that Nintendo is very interested in partnering with third parties who have a “very unique use of the Wii U functionality”.”

This is a smart man, and he should not be criticised for this firm stance. Here’s Reggie Fils-Aime presenting Zombi U on Jimmy Fallon’s show. This is Ubisoft’s new game.

They are pretty damn accommodating to developers who give a shit. Nintendo doesn’t hesitate to let Sega make an Olympics game with Mario, which by the way is Sega’s highest selling game of all time. Nintendo happily threw a Mario song in Just Dance. Nintendo is helping develop Lego City: Undercover.

Wii U is a new platform that offers new ways to play games and we should be grateful for it. If developers don’t want to utilise the Wii U features, then I don’t want their games on Wii U. That’s fine, I want Wii U games on Wii U.

Stop bitching about Nintendo closing the door, and bitch about the people who show up to the door half-naked with flies buzzing around their armpits.

49 thoughts on “Nintendo NEEDS you to shut up

  1. Good rant. I just wish I could physically slap these douchebag cry babies for their spoiled little brat antics.


  2. People are only complaining because they care, and if Nintendo doesn’t listen, then they’ll be back in the shithouse, along with this website. You need to quit rage-whining because people don’t get on their knees and suck Nintendo’s dick because their next gen console is a Sony Vita like you obviously do.


    1. There’s a place between thinking Nintendo can do no right and thinking Nintendo can do no wrong. Sadly there’s few places on the internet where you can find such rationale, reason and logic. Sadder still is that the people who express such common sense are loathed and mocked by the extremists on both sides.

      The people who complain because they care comprise about 1% of the people who complain. Like with people who complain about anything the vast majority do it for reasons ranging from stupidity and ignorance to hatred and the sheer joy of whining.


    2. I’m glad someone came out and made the obvious connection between the domain registration and Nintendo’s stock price.


  3. i agree 100%. for ages we have been seing a wave of “new age whiners/bitches” which selfdeclares themselfs “THE HARDCORE” gamers. go on, and on about how wrong Nintendo does their work and how much better they would do if they followed their whims. people who dont care about having their games served in the same generic middleware engines over and over. (same applies for genre) these same people have the nerve to count every nintendo gamer (in their own wet fantasy) as a CASUAL gamer.because they didnt choose to abandon nintendo’s platforms and enjoy gaming on them. ive been gaming seriously since 1985. (i only count Nes foward) because from that point on gaming became fun. saw sega duke it out with Nec and nintendo and it has been a blast. have own every console worth mentioning (sorry Jaguar and 32x) but always had a weak spot for Nintendo (following their trajectory has something to do with that) yes they have had their fair share of mistakes. but that doesnt take away from the fact that those mistakes took place because they have always challenged conventions., never settling for the same crap over and over…trial and error. in the end i will probably own a 720 or ps4(PROBABLY)but not at the expense of a Nintendo platform and games for sure. whinners have always existed, just let us not allow them to get to the point where they will dictate what games we end up playing…(cough,Mass effect ending..cough)


    1. Oh man, I’ve been meaning to write about the Mass Effect ending and how the whiners have become completely disconnected from reality.


  4. So you’re saying gamers should shut up and play what ever social game nintendo makes.
    Sorry but I prefer real games, and that is what Nintendo lacks.
    Go ahead and settle for mediocre, me, I prefer great.


    1. You should know the fact that Nintendo games are REAL games. Drones like you are not real gamers. Real gamers play games no matter what system that person owns.


    2. Real games? O you mean those gritty, colorless game with a stereotypical hard-@$$ for a main character that has been coming about lately? Yea that’s a real game alright.

      I guess violence= real gaming doesn’t it?


    3. lol, no wonder Nintendo has so many kiddie shovelware, their fans are fine with it.
      Thanks for proving me right people.


      1. say wahtever you want mate, but you’re not gonna get any of these guys to change their puchasing decisions, so maybe do something more prodcutive next time. let everyone else enjoy what they like and stop caring about it (cause you look jelly when you do)


    1. Just another pointless olive branch Ninty gives to third parties because that is what funds their high-budget flops.

      I’m sure Ubi’s entire Wii game library was just to fund Beyond Good & Evil 2. Oh wait, does that game still exist?


  5. Damn it Grubdog, why do you always say things I want to say before I do?! Stop showing me up man, its hurting my self-esteem. 😦


  6. Really good read Grubdog. It is the kind of bitching that this article is talking about that made me wanna leave a forum that I used to go to. It has to do with entitlement,,closemindness, and repetivness that made me leave.

    As Earthviper pointed out there is a fine line between trying to help Nintendo with feedback with posts that can actually help and are constructive and just whining and complaining just because you can.


  7. I hope someday we see an end of this. It became fashionable to bash nintendo after wii. Then some people never got over that. They lost their objective view and as far as they are concerned nintendo is kiddy casual no matter what they do. Tired old arguments with perfectly logicalcounters existing for 2 year wont shake these people up. I don’t want to point an fingers but I think the sony playstation dropping to 3rd place might have something to do with it. It’s willful ignorance to reality and how I loathe it.


  8. You know what’s hilarious?

    Games like Mario Paint, Game & Watch, Pokemon Snap, Pilotwings and many more are remembered fondly today by the very same kinds of people who resent the existence of games like Brain Age, Wii Sports and Nintendo Land.

    At some point creating non-traditional software that offers an experience unlike the dime a dozen major genre entries went from creative and unique to scorned ‘shovelware’. Released in 1993 Nintendo Land would have been embraced, released today Mario Paint would be bashed. How did an industry that has supposedly grown become even more narrow minded?

    Does Nintendo’s non-traditional software make their traditional software cease to exist? No, no it does not. Wii still got 3 Mario Platformers, 1 Mario RPG, 1 Mario Kart, 1 SSB, 2 Kirby Platformers, 2 Metroids, 2 ‘Excite’ racers, 1 Fire Emblem, 1 Animal Crossing, 1 ‘new’ Zelda, 1 Battalion Wars, 1 DK Platformer, 1 Wario Platformer, a new Punch Out, a new Sin & Punishment as well as new “OMG REAL GAEM” IP’s like Xenoblade, Disaster, Captain Rainbow and Pandora’s Tower. In terms of ratio of traditional to non-traditional software from Nintendo and number of “OMG REAL GAEMS” made by Nintendo, I don’t see this sudden shift that the internet hate machine would have you believe took place with the Wii and DS.

    Bottom line is, self proclaimed ‘real/hardcore’ gamers have been trained to be nothing more than spoiled children who cannot and will not tolerate ‘the other kids’ getting ANY attention. If everything is not specifically for and about them they throw a tantrum, exaggerate the idea of not being the center of attention into some form of abuse and refuse to be satiated by the attention they do receive because they’re still too busy pouting that they didn’t get ALL of the attention.

    Another generation comes and goes and once again we see the Nintendo haters behaving infinitely more childish than the very people they themselves accuse of being childish for being secure enough in their adulthood to play games with a touch of imagination and whimsy.


    1. What’s even more hilarious is there is a new Mario Paint, and nobody noticed. Wario Ware: Do It Yourself is a textbook example of whiners not buying the games they asked for.

      That’s why Nintendo stopped listening.


  9. This times infinty! That article sums it up perfectly. According to the crybabies Nintendo should stop being Nintendo and become a clone of Sony/MS. It will never happen. Nintendo is the only thing keeping the industry intersting and fresh. The other two companies are interchangable. Nintendo is irreplacable.


  10. I soo 100% agrees with this article. The third party who still stupidly do not wish to put their franchise on the new WII U even tho is more than capable to run them are sooo FUCKING stupid!!
    They will run back to the system when they see how the system sells like hot cakes later this year. Am sure… no am POSITIVE than Sony and Microsoft are worrying what Nintendo gonna do. now there system will be beefed up to play third party and have their own Nintendo IP’s what can beat that?

    Sony and Microsoft better come good and not just with power but with some kind of innovation what we can’t get anywhere else or else they gonna burn. EA states more games are coming and other companies saying the same. I guess they are doing the “wait and see” thing to see how well this will sell just like the 3ds. Nintendo is gonna do fine if not better this time around. I am so excited.

    Get N or get OUT!!!!!!


  11. this needs….to get out and spread….people should get smacked in the head with some common sense like this….


  12. I also wouldn’t be so sure that Sony and Microsoft will have a rosier time of it. It’s time for WALL OF TEXT! Yay! *watches Juliet Starling dance past* Okay, was that my hallucination or someone elses? *shakes antibiotics*

    Face facts here – a next gen means new tech, more staff, more training and more money. That’s right, at a time when it’s pretty obvious games budgets are tighter than a thong on Jennifer Lopez, we’re asking these same people – who ALREADY moan incessantly about budgets, funding and money – to spend MORE money for at the start at least a smaller crowd.

    Question; Considering the current economic climate, how likely do you really think this will be that everyone will jump onto these new consoles?

    There will be big names doing their thing – there always are – but the largest studios aren’t the whole of the industry, and nor should they be either. This will leave dozens more looking for a platform that won’t cost them much more, has HD and a little extra – oh hello Wii-U, fancy meeting you at this moment in time!

    Ironically, I think Nintendo are playing a blinder here. And less and less people are seeing how utterly brilliant and coy and cheap it is. Live and PSN have had all that awful press in the last couple years – expenses, patching costs, hacking… here’s a new platform on the town, with a new online interface – as yet untested, but without baggage. Here’s a console that is only really a SMALL step above what we have now – but really, is that so bad? A controller that excites them. Nintendo are cooing to them that they have changed, they want them, they need them, we’ll treat you right, we’ll love you and respect you in the morning.

    It makes me grin like a chimp that these kinds of brutal but almost telegraphed and predictable things are somehow such a mystery to so many people. Nintendo knows exactly what they need to do, and are already doing it – it’s so in your face to boot. Sure, means less Mario and Zelda. Boo. But means more games on Nintendo machines. Yay?

    We shall see. Nintendo can always switch gears if need be. But once again, you’d be a fool to discount Nintendo – they’re sitting on reserves Sony would perform dark rituals for, and have sales numbers that Microsoft would pay good money for. Insert cheap Rare joke here.

    Nintendo are in no danger. Only the most ardent of Nintendo haters could ever believe Nintendo are in danger – there are no numbers that demonstrate anything of the sort (shame the same can’t be said of Sony though…). It’s because they’re in such a good spot they can take this gamble, this risk – sure, it may hurt them, but if it pays off, Sony and Microsoft will never again be able to justify anything to their shareholders on tech-based stuff. They won’t ever be able to say “No, people buy tech!” – because they don’t (and, let’s face it, Apple have been demonstrating that for years).

    And by damn, you can see that making Miyamoto and Iwata laugh as their 3DS’ print out even more money than before. Nintendo are in a good place. It’s Sony and Microsoft who need to sweat, because they’ve got a hell of a lot more to do this time around… and there’ll be an awful lot more to lose.

    edit; As for rivalry, I don’t think Sony and Microsoft consider the Wii-U a rival to their machines at all, which would be a catastrophic mistake. If the new consoles are super-powerful and leave the Wii-U in their proverbial dust, then again, will that price some studios out and/or ensure the Wii-U is a “sit-along” machine? And if they aren’t, the Wii-U may end up as the baseline technical platform from which games are then modified for their machines. In which case, the Wii-U WILL be a competitor to them. They can’t deny that.

    Nintendo play a simply blinding game. It may seem ugly, brutal and a bit gimmicky and cheap – but you can’t argue with results.


  13. Thank you; well said! I would like to see thatgamecompany make something cool for the Wii U, but I wouldn’t want Nintendo to do something retarded like throw away millions for exclusive rights. Nintendo does what they do well, and that’s why they are around today. All Nintendo developed franchises rock!


  14. I think what’s ultimately disturbing is that this attitude of entitlement and/or unwarranted animosity toward Nintendo proliferates far beyond the fringe fanboys (who will ultimately dislike Nintendo, regardless of what actions they take to cater to self-appointed “core” gamers, for whatever insane reasons they can rehash). This mindset is like a virus that is spreading into gaming media and “journalism”. It’s on TV, the internet, printed publications, everywhere. Like a previous poster said, it’s become fashionable to treat Nintendo like an outcast; because that’s what the viewers on your dying gaming show want to hear because it’s “cool”. I forced myself to watch some of the G4 E3 coverage for the games and some anticipated astonishment. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. This wasn’t just the hosts being ignorant fanboys, this was a straight-up anti-Nintendo brainwashing propaganda. Every question about Nintendo’s conference was loaded. For example: “Why do you think Nintendo’s conference failed so hard?” And the two IGN editors they were questioning weren’t even on the Nintendo team, and automatically declared SmartGlass to be better implemented than the Gamepad. However, they weren’t asked any questions on what games they had played or how they came to that conclusion. And when the question of Wii U being next-gen was inevitably broached, Morgan Webb immediately shot it down “let’s face it, it’s not.” Really, how many actual developers have been saying that? The bright side is that most Nintendo-centric sites are at least realistically addressing that the actual game line-up is going to be quite healthy and available at, or soon after launch. I think a lot of people are either anxious for Wii U because we’ve been waiting for so long, or are scared of it, because they might want to embrace something new. That wait is almost over though and we can see the light at the end of this waiting tunnel. I remember back in 2008, I played a game I had never seen or heard of before and it changed my life, literally. The first time I played Super Mario Galaxy it was like nothing else. The controls were natural because I played SM64, (I own Sunshine now but haven’t played it). Never once did non-HD graphics, no online or violence enter my mind, because I was too busy having fun (and I’m in my twenties). That’s why I play Nintendo, and it’s sad to see that value treated so cheaply by “gamers” who choose not to understand it. “Wii is for kids” yeah, because you never played games as a kid; you know people have families these days, right?


    1. A very well thought out analysis of the situation. And you’re right. It’s cool to hate Nintendo these days. But I think it works out better that way. If the HD twins keep fighting each other and paying no attention to Nintendo, it will make it that much sweeter when Nintendo kicks their asses in sales again. It’s eating at the very core of Sony fanboys that their ulra powerful PS3 lost to the underpowered Wii this gen.

      And if I may give you some advice for the future. Don’t ever go to G4 for gaming news. Especially when it comes to Nintendo. They are very anti- Nintendo. Morgan Webb is a downright idiot and their entire staff seem to be gamers by profession only. If you go back to their Pre-E3 predictions, you would see they were expecting Nintendo to reveal things that Nintendo already stated would not be revealed at E3. Long gone are the days when G4 was a haven for all video games. These days if it ain’t Sony or Microsoft they ain’t interested. Even IOS gets more respect as a gaming platform than Nintendo does on that channel.


      1. I appreciate your feedback; and I am fully aware of G4 and IGN’s “unbiased reporting”. I never watch them; I just recorded everything E3 on my DVR so I wouldn’t miss anything. Just for fun I stopped to listen to some of the interviews because I knew it was going to be bad, and that’s when I fully realized that this whole attitude has become completely out of hand. I don’t know if it’s the show’s producers or the hosts themselves who are making a conscious effort to disseminate un-credible information. My impression was that it was meant to appeal to individuals with their brain shut off and who don’t rationally criticize the information they are receiving. Unfortunately that targets a large teenage demographic. It baffles me how people become so used to hiding behind a screen that they are unable to evaluate reality, and that’s an issue that goes beyond gaming. As if acting childish makes one more mature and grown up. Since when does whining deserve attention? The only things I can do are distance myself from it, and anticipate enjoying the $500-600 worth of 3DS/Wii U stuff I don’t know how I’m going to afford in just a few months.

        I have nothing against Sony or Microsoft; I just don’t find their games compelling enough for a purchase, even though I own PS3/360. What’s interesting further is because of the relative power between the two, they shared multiplatform titles that often Wii didn’t. For some reason individuals see that as some sort of alliance; as if these companies aren’t directly competing. And that “alliance” will continue just as strongly into the future. Who’s to say Nintendo and Microsoft might not be closer this time? Ultimately, I see this next generation being built on system capability (Kinect vs. Gamepad) and game exclusives. If Wii U is going to be $300-350; what price will these next consoles be at to have significantly more powerful hardware, throw in and large hard drive, and Kinect 2.0 and that’s approaching $450+? The biggest question: will it even really matter that much over Wii U anyway? If Sony wants to build a gaming computer, that’s their prerogative. You can do that today; you just can’t play Sony exclusives legally on them. I understand more powerful components will be cheaper in two years from now, but what developer is going to go all out “because it’s more powerful, yay!? besides Naughty Dog/first party.

        But, honestly I get most of my news from NRW, and their podcasts are the best I’ve found so far. They don’t jump on the rumor train so quickly, that’s what MNN is for, as you know. What’s funny is I think both us just followed that link over here from yesterday. I’ve always thought your comments are very level-headed and accurate. Obviously your avatar is more distinctive then my generic one, that’s why I recognized it. I’ve wanted to ask, did you used to have the Conan O’Brien Arnold head, or was that someone else?


        1. Yeah, I did used to use the Arnold head from the Conon O’Brien “via satellite” sketches. I changed it to Dude Manrod in honour of Kevin Pereirra retiring from G4 after 10 years. He was the only worthwhile person left on that channel.

          I think Nintendo is playing a different game than Sony/MS. Like I said before Sony/MS are basically interchangable with each other. I certainly can’t tell the difference between them. Nintendo is unique and original. They don’t jump on the latest trends just to show that they can. Only if it can somehow lend something new and exciting to the gaming experience. As a matter of fact they set the trends and the others follow.

          But I’m not intersted in arguing with drones. I game to have fun and relax, not to show off or reaffirm my masculinity. The fanboyism is too rampant in the industry. Everyone needs to remember that games are supposed to be fun for everyone. Nintendo hasn’t forgotten that. They want to keep gaming fun and exciting for those who have been gaming for years but also those who are only now starting to play. That’s why they keep their console and handhelds cheap and accesible to everyone.


  15. I completely concur. I think consoles are driven by first-party titles, but when those titles are in an oversaturated market they start to blend together and lose their distinctive qualities; not to say they’re bad games. Nintendo does lead the industry because they clearly state they don’t care what others do, and that pays off more often than not for them. I think that’s why their being so tight-lipped about everything until closer to launch; SmartGlass already proves that point. I watched a candid interview that Miyamoto had overseas back when Galaxy 2 was about to be released. And to paraphrase his translation is was something like: “It’s very important to be offer something unique. If you ask the end user what they want, they all say functions that others have. But in truth they want to see new features presented by the developers, stuff that others don’t have. That’s why it’s our task to develop something that grants the subconscious wishes of the end-user.” It’s a great interview everyone should watch. Here’s the link.

    And I had no idea who Dude Manrod was; I guess that proves how much I watched. I also meant “NWR”, but I assumed you already knew that.


    1. I knew what you meant. Thanks for the link. Great interview. You should check out some Dude Manrod vids on youtube. They’re really funny.


  16. When you think about some of the things publishers have done to stay afloat-always online DRM, online passes, locked DLC-it’s amazing how ‘hardcore’ gamers summon hate against Nintendo. Nintendo has never tried to screw any of their consumers over for more money and they never forced any gamer to have something they don’t need to do something they may not enjoy.

    And credit to the person who made the point that ‘hardcore’ gamers never put their money where their games are. Nintendo knew this and went after everyone else and won. Game ‘journalists’ will never be happy because video gaming isn’t just their hobby anymore.


    1. Not to mention the fact that it was Sony and MS, not Nintendo, who royally screwed over a significant portion of their users this gen with colossal $^&# ups. The generation with contained two of the most infamous cluster#*%$’s in modern gaming history (the RROD and PSN hack fiasco’s) and it was the company not responsible for either that everyone chose to hate.


  17. I think its absolutely adorable the gaming media are once again playing the “Nintendo is the doomed!11” card again (Kotaku being the most hateful of the bunch, surprise!). I have said once and I will say it again: “hardcore” fans who were “abandoned” by Nintendo never bought a Gamecube, didn’t buy games like Excitebots or Sin & Punishment, and its Nintendo’s own fault those games underperformed? Good lord when I heard someone make this excuse I wall banged my head for days. Again, THEY MADE A GAME YOU WANTED BUT YOU REFUSED TO BUY IT BECAUSE ALL YOU DO IT BITCH. No wonder Xenoblade is exclusive only to Gamestop, Nintendo knew it was a hard sell because of the wide-spread insults the Wii was getting.

    On the other hand, I feel content knowing that this generation alone these abandoned fans didn’t do much to save developers who hemorrhaged money and didn’t see a dime back. Factor 5? They are dead. Free Radical? Got screwed over by Sony AND Lucasarts and got swallowed up by Crytek (probably making another generic shooter as I speak). Rocksteady? They nearly went belly-up after Arkham Asylum, which everyone loved but barely made money back.

    STFU and FOAD.


  18. This is exactly what I have been saying for years If the 3rd parties can’t figure out how to sell on Nintendo’s hardware then it’s their own damned fault! Just Dance sold MILLIONS and it was all Ubisoft!


  19. All I can say is eating while reading a pietriots article is a bad idea. I choked on the last sentence… X_X


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