The Next 5 Years: Naka’s Prediction

Greetings everyone, I am Yuji Naka and I have something to share with you all. This morning I woke up with a clear vision of the future. It was the first time in weeks I had a dream without my pal Sonic interrupting my fishing trip. It started this year and went all the way to the year 2017! Can you believe that? 5 years in a single night! I will have to talk to SEGA about making a new NiGHTs game with this concept. We always have great discussions when they catch me sneaking into my old office, hehe. Anyway, let me start with the year 2012, which I’m sure you all know well!

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Achievements / Trophies are not harmless

Here’s a video of an optional mini-game in 3D Dot Game Heroes; beating it under 60 seconds is required if you want to get the Platinum medal for the game.


The video isn’t important, but take a gander at the comments underneath it! Quite a lot of people are upset.

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Late to the PS3 party: LittleBigPunishment

Just over a week ago I finally bought a PS3 – there’s quite a few games on here I’ve been keen to play and Tales of Graces F was the pushing point, as well as my new Logitech G27 steering wheel that shamefully isn’t compatible with X360. I’ve been enjoying LittleBigPlanet so far; it’s a lot more fun than I expected. The physics aren’t horrible like I’ve read; it’s easy to adapt to, and the game has quite a bit of charm with some great music and pretty graphics.

It was all going fine until I foolishly plugged in my ethernet cable while the game was paused… THEN OPENED THE GATES OF HELL.

gamechanger

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What Is Casual?

Casual, hardcore, non-gamer, casual-gamer. What do all these mean? What language am I speaking? If you’ve read any “insightful” feature articles on videogames in the past 5 years, you’ll know these terms pretty well. Let’s start with where these popular phrases originated, and how these words became “categories”.

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Why GameInformer Makes Me Want To Punch A Kitten

Here we have a lovely piece about one of the greatest games of the last decade, Xenoblade Chronicles. It’s an “amazing game” says the author, Chris Warcraft of GameInformer. It features an “epic storyline” with “engaging characters” and “fresh combat”.

However.

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Ferrari Card Battle

Deep within Ferrari: The Race Experience on Wii, lies a card game! Each player is given 33 cards (or 16 if you play half-deck), and on each card is a picture of a Ferrari with the stats of that particular car. The idea of the game is to trump the other player, by picking a feature of your car that represents it best and trumps that same feature on the other players card. The catch is you can’t see the other players card so you have to guess your strengths. Here’s an example; we start a game and I’ve got a 1958 Testarossa that’s rare as hell and costs $12,000,000. I go first because someone has to, and I’m lucky. I don’t know which car the other player holds, but I’m pretty sure it’s worth less than 12 million dollars, so I pick the money category…

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I wish the TAKEDOWN kickstarter failed

They’ve sold the character squad mates to donors, so prepare to have your team of elite murderers look like acne ridden, neck bearded derpsters, unfit to hold a gun. They’re turning a first person game into a third person one for the console port, but then leaving the other console port up to player feedback. The mind boggles how their hardcore, realistic gunplay will adapt to an entirely different perspective from a radically different controller input. Despite this radical alteration to the entire gameplay dynamic for what will no doubt be inferior versions of the product, Mac and Linux ports, requiring only the most minor of coding alterations, are ‘under evaluation based on demand’ which is code for ‘not happening, but we’d like your money first.’

With the successes of Double Fine’s unnamed adventure game and Wasteland 2Kickstarter is the current darling of the independent gaming community and ‘crowdsourcing’ the hot new buzzword being thrown around by insufferable energetic web 2.0 conmen. Kickstarter hasn’t always been a success though, my favourite unfunded project being the criminals who developed Tony Hawk Ride failing to fund some marble madness clone they wanted to inflict on us. If only the same could be said about smug upstart Serellan’s lame sounding tactical shooter TAKEDOWN.

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Be careful what you wish for

There certainly has been a lot of talk lately about whether or not Nintendo should quit hardware and become a third party.  This sort of discussion baffles me because I’m not aware of any year Nintendo ever lost money to such an extent that “going third party” was a necessity.  In fact, even in the recent “trouble years,” according to several game news websites, Nintendo still pulled down billions in profit.  The comparisons to Sega are thrown around as if they meant anything, despite Sega’s situation having been the result of a decade of financial missteps.  Sega was losing money for years before they were forced to become a third party in order to stay alive in the industry.  Nintendo is sitting fat on billions upon billions of dollars, and has never posted a yearly loss, ever.

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The Capcom Five – Video Memorial

NEVER FORGET

Before they cancelled Mega Man Legends 3, before they ignored Wii Pointer controls in Monster Hunter Tri, before they rewarded Resident Evil fans with rail shooters, before Dead Rising: Chop Till You Drop could handle 6 zombies at once, before they announce Resident Evil: Revelations including the free Mercenaries HD for PS Vita launching simultaneously with the 3DS version (hi-ho 2012 release date) – Capcom presented… THE FIVE.

Never one to forget 3rd Party achievements, I put this little post together to help last generation’s players and this gen’s newcomers remember the pain for years to come. Actually, before rambling about the quintet’s history that everyone’s heard before, I want to bring attention to the titles as they were announced: by sharing nice-quality versions of their debut trailers (well, 4 out of 5 of them). If we’ll remember ANY of it, let’s at least see clean copies of them; one last face-to-face before closing the casket. I know you can search for the moldy Flash videos originating from Matt C.’s IGN, but try to have some respect for the departed. Those videos came from a time when magazine, internet, and even Nintendo’s own coverage made “good” GameCube games look crappy.

Tracking down known copies of these trailers a couple years ago took some time and $rupees$. My search was narrowed to a couple auctions for rare promo DVDs from Japan, eventually making some sellers very happy. In addition, I managed to gather almost all the promo videos for these games since their announcement. One last step (took forever), each video was processed piece by piece – deinterlacing, cropping out blank borders, scaling the frames for consistency – whenever reasonable, trying to help them look their best. It’s only these past couple months that I seriously sat down to finish converting this junk. When hobbies start to feel like work… I tend to avoid them. Recently feeling an urgent sense of justice, I could delay no more.

So here’s what I got: a few custom screencaps, my personal thoughts/description of each game at inconsistent degrees of relevance, and links to the DivX-formatted media on my homepage. But seriously, I went overboard, so don’t read all of it.

This first one up was the first one to go down

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Operation Rainfall’s biggest challenge

It’s not from Nintendo. It’s not language barriers or translation issues. It’s not some greedy CEO who gets a hard-on from punishing people. It’s the gaming media, and so called “fans” who are threatening boycotts and trolling Wii just like they’ve been doing since 2006.

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