Tetris 99 is the best battle royale game because I can win it once every 30 matches or so.

I can’t win any matches of Fortnite or Apex Legends because the whole scene is dominated by zoomers pepped up on amphetamines and decked out in microtransactions. So it’s nice to play a real game that real gamers like me, who suffer early onset arthritis in their thumbs, can win once in a while.

My final opponent was Karen from the Switch reveal.