Tetris 99 is the best battle royale game because I can win it once every 30 matches or so.

I can’t win any matches of Fortnite or Apex Legends because the whole scene is dominated by zoomers pepped up on amphetamines and decked out in microtransactions. So it’s nice to play a real game that real gamers like me, who suffer early onset arthritis in their thumbs, can win once in a while.

My final opponent was Karen from the Switch reveal.

Twenty Nineteen Goals

After the massive success of sharing my goals, and importantly my plan, to complete the Pokédex last year, I’m going to repeat this with my gaming and blog goals for 2019. I found it very helpful to have a plan to refer back to to keep myself on task and written justifications for motivation. Even if you don’t read it, having it publicly posted will be enough to keep me accountable to avoid the embarrassment of not following through. But hectoring me in the comments helps. Like last time, this post will be updated to cross things off as they’re completed and modified if things go awry.

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OPUS – Loneliness and hope

From independent Taiwanese developer Sigono, the pair of games OPUS are linked by their common themes and aesthetic rather than their gameplay or story. Both games share themes of loneliness and hope, with characters isolated in the distant future, determined to complete a seemingly impossible task that was thrust upon them. Despite these similarities, both games can stand alone, they don’t refer to each other, and are a testament to the diversity of unique gaming experiences we’re so lucky to enjoy today.

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1979 Revolution: Black Friday

Forty years ago, revolution swept Iran. The western backed autocrat, Mohammad Reza Shah Pahlavi was ousted from power by a popular coalition of forces and an Islamic republic, led by Allah’s apparent representative Ruhollah Khomeini, was established. 1979 Revolution: Black Friday tells the story of Black Friday, a turning point of the revolution, through the lens of fictional photo journalist Reza Shirazi. It’s less a traditional video game and more a kind of edutainment interactive historical drama, with developer iNK Stories borrowing heavily from the Telltale Games formula to immerse the player in the chaos of revolution.

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Playing Smash Bros with items turned off doesn’t teach you about life

There’s a correct way to play Smash Bros; 4 players, timed match, 2:30, items on, stage hazards on, random stage select. Any other way is wrong. This setup not only creates the most volatile and chaotic matches, but also the ones most likely to see the best players thrive. As anyone who has made it past the third grade of school knows, life is unfair. So why should your video game be any different? Smash Brothers teaches you how to cope with unfairness, how to handle chaos and how to seize opportunities to get ahead in life. Playing stock matches, without items creates not only a saccharine gaming experience, but also a generation of gutless imbeciles. Disagree? Well keep reading to find out why you’re wrong.

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Warframe, What the Fuck?

Warframe is a game that kept showing up in the ‘now playing’ status of long lost friends on Steam and Discord for a while now and another friend left a comment mentioning it on a Jacobin article about politics in games. I’d never bothered to actually find anything out about it though until today when I realised it had appeared on the Switch eshop, was free to play, and didn’t involve Nintendo’s extortionate online fee. I went in completely blind, not even reading the description, and this is how it felt.

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Now hiring

Pietriots is a fast-paced startup looking to manipulate the narrative of gaming discourse. Do you want to work with a dynamic team of passionate industry unprofessionals who liaise with stakeholders of media conglomerates in the leading buzzword economy? You’ll be excited to learn that we’re expanding and welcome applicants for the following vacancies. Please note that working for Pietriots provides no benefits, compensation or prospect of future employment. You will however get exposure and valuable experience!

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