Blazing Chrome – Just Chrome It

The year is A.D. 21XX and humanity is…. ah screw it, you’ve heard it all before. This is yet another videogame where billions of humans have died and you are our last hope. There’s just something about ultimate apocalyptic destruction that makes for a good action game. Or survival game. Or story-heavy RPG. Or driving game. First-person shooting. Golf. Heck, is everything better without humans? No, that question is too deep for this game’s colour palette. Humanity is on the brink of extinction and it’s time…

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God Eater 3 – Just a Bite

Too dangerous, they said. That’s why we’re locked in here. Horrific beasts have taken over Earth, beasts known as Aragami who only live to consume and destroy. Yet we’re the ones treated like evil, the only people who can fight them. The uncreative God Eaters just call us “Adaptive” God Eaters or AGE for short, simply because we can breathe the air outside. It’s a long story but Earth is screwed. The air is full of corrosive ash that humans can’t handle, except us of course. This “ability” has led us to being locked up and treated like test subjects. We only get let out to do missions for them.  Is that our fault, did we ask for this? We must be bad, just like the monsters right? Then why are we having so much fun slaying them?

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Beatbot Beatdown – No Violence Detected

The year is 2094 and robots have taken over civilisation. Only one human soul is left, but it’s stuck inside a robot. This robot is known as Beatbot. The problem is… it only has the power of rhythm, as the only method of expression of this particular human soul is music. Beatbot must dance his way through 11 stages of pure mayhem to overthrow the other robots and restore humanity by freeing the soul inside into the human container to get its body back. It’s under heavy guard by very advanced soldier robots and you’re going to need every funky bone in your body to help Beatbot.

*image cannot be found*

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Super Lucky’s Tale – Always Landing On Tails

Glada blad daneeashe blap blurp dawesome! Oh excuse me I’ve become an NPC inside a book and this is how I talk now, but I can still write in English I guess. That’s right I’m inside the Book of Ages and there’s a bunch of whimsical worlds here. Coins and platforms hover in the air and there are no rules at all. Oh except, you can’t rotate the camera too much. Small details. You also die if you hit something three times, but there’s plenty of lives to go around. I’m going to tell you all about a Fox who’s come to save us all, his name is Lucky. You see, this book is being threatened by the evil Jinx and the pages are being overrun by Kitty Litter. The who and the what now? Well, all you need to know is the fox’s name is Lucky and this is Super Lucky’s Tale.

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The Pokémon culling is a disaster, here’s how it can be salvaged

Luxry's self sacrifice to save her crying trainer from dying of exposure.

Pokémon trainers around the world were shocked to learn that not all their carefully raised Pokémon, their friends, will be able to accompany them on their next journey. This news came from game director Junichi Masuda who sheepishly admitted at E3 that the full roster of Pokémon wont be playable after a lengthy preamble to soften us up with excuses. A week on, with the frenzied backlash dying down, this article will examine exactly what the culling of Pokémon means, evaluate the reasons given by the developer Game Freak, and make recommendations for how both Pokémon fans and The Pokémon Company can rectify the situation.

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Borderlands 2 – Bandit Blues

I arrived at the bandit hideout as ready as I could be. My rifle was custom made by Dahl with an extra fire element specifically made to burn flesh. The rifle burns through 2 bullets per shot as a consequence, so I loaded up on ammo at the vending machine beforehand. I knew there would be tons of human freaks here. This world was now full of mutant spiders and hungry beasts, but humans were still the worst thing to encounter. It was technology that made us the most dangerous and stupid at the same time. What a combination. Anyway, my goal was simply to purge this place on a mission from Sanctuary. How did these guys become bandits anyway, it’s hard to believe it’s a choice. They have no cause. All they do is run around and die really. We could be rebuilding but we’re just tearing each other apart. I guess I’m not doing this by choice either, oh well.

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