With Kirby celebrating his twenty-fifth anniversary this year, let’s take a short trip through his very first Game Boy adventure. In case you are wondering why I cut out the boss rush, they are exactly the same fights and you really don’t need to watch them a second time.
In only a couple of days Splatoon 2 will be out and I will be playing it immensely, because what I played of the recent Splatfest was awesome. However, with that said, Nintendo released the Nintendo Switch Online phone app and everyone on the internet is having a meltdown over it being terrible and shitmonglers like Liam “Tamaki” Robertson are taking advantage of the situation by concern trolling with… a picture of a DS with a Nintendo Wi-Fi Connection game because there was voice chat on that, sort of, and it sucked.
What was originally a series done by fellow Pietriot Bill Aurion now has my filthy hands all over it. Filthy Canadian hands, no less.
So let’s get one thing out of the way first; my respect for major Third Party Publishers, and their developers, who I will call out of disrespect “Thirds” is at an all-time low. I called it back in October last year that Switch’s Third support would be mired by bullshit, and lo’ and behold, it turned out I was right. In recent weeks, we’ve had some dip from THQ Nordic complain about Switch’s lack of power, despite, you know, games like Snake Pass being ported in under a couple of weeks. Then we had the creator of the Oddworld series spout these wonderful comments about Satoru Iwata. So in short, when Thirds make themselves look hilariously incompetent and they get mocked for it, I am as happy as a pig in mud because it gives me and my fellow Pietriots on our Discord server something to mock and discuss. Continue reading ““Durp!”: Cliffy B – “Switch doesn’t have enough buttons!””
The other week I achieved something I hadn’t since I was 12 years old; I completed the Pokédex, I caught them all. Technically though, it wasn’t them all. It was only the 301 available in the latest game. Nintendo long ago realised the insanity of capturing now 802 Pokémon and dropped “Gotta Catch ‘Em All” from the branding, providing smaller, region specific Pokédexs in the game. The importance of the complete Pokédex, or National Pokédex as it is known, has been downplayed too, a post-game unlockable in recent generations and not appearing at all in Pokémon Sun and Moon. Completing the Alola regional Pokédex didn’t provide the satisfaction I thought it would, and the in game reward, a stamp in my in-game passport, was as hollow as the certificate of completion I received 18 years ago. I have decided that I will not be fulfilled until I really have caught them all. All 802 bastards, including the worst thing in Pokémon, “event” Pokémon, so yesterday I dug out my Pokémon games from the last 4 generations to figure out how to get Manaphy, the seafaring Pokémon. Continue reading “Completing the Pokédex: Manaphy”
I was disgusted today to see that the remaster no one asked for, Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy, had sold out of pre-orders at some stores. As someone who played a lot of video games in the late 90’s, I can tell you that these three games are shit. Outside of Japan, there were precisely 20 days when Crash Bandicoot was relevant as a fun, 3D platforming game. But then Super Mario 64 came out and shat all over not just the original Crash Bandicoot but all future Crash Bandicoot games. Continue reading “Crash Bandicoot was shit 20 years ago and is still shit today.”
E3 is next month, so how about Uncle Matto treats you to E3 predictions I pulled out my ass?
No? Well shit. Continue reading “Stupid E3 Predictions”
A fellow user by the name of Travis Touchdown on VG Facts recently brought to my attention and others this fan comic.
Besides the not-so-obvious fact this is a Metroid comic strip, that is Samus with a punchline that makes absolutely no sense, but the comment she makes Samus say at the end is actually hilarious, in a “god you are a dumb ass.”
The two images (which the artist redrew in their own style) of Zelda from Breath Of The Wild are somehow evidence Zelda is somehow another crying princess that has to be rescued. I don’t know how many of our readers have played through Breath Of The Wild yet, so major spoiler warnings after this paragraph, because I have to break down why this webcomic author is a fucking moron. Continue reading “Short-Sighted Ignorance”
I like talking about video games, but I also like talking about hilarious and/or stupid bullshit that you sometimes don’t think is important, but actually is. Today, I am putting on my gaming historian glasses to talk in-depth about an aspect of video games we sometimes think is always a good thing, and it is! Most of the time. Great sale figures!
Pretend you are a game developer and a game publisher. Yes, both. We’re not counting self-publishing such as indie titles, because most of my examples I will present in this piece are major video game releases. Say you are a game developer who spent two-plus years working ungodly man hours and your publisher gave you millions upon millions of dollars to make a video game. You can either succeed massively, mildly or just fail. Such is the way of this gaming industry. But hey, if you made a great game and it sells very well? Good for you! You not only received tons of praise, you could probably make any game you want for the same budget, sequel or original game! Continue reading “The MGS2 Effect”
I figured Grubdog can’t have all the fun with talking about first impressions of the Nintendo Switch, but while he has fancy pictures he took himself, my impressions are going to be picture-less.
Unlike Grub, my local EB Games did not have a midnight launch. It did open at 8:30 a.m. local time, and there was a long line up people who were going to buy it and in the mix were those who pre-ordered it, which included myself. In short, it took me an hour to get into the store because they were only letting five people in at a time, and some people came in groups where only one person in said group was going to get the Switch. Sucks having to wait, equally sucks seeing people trade in great WiiU games. Continue reading “Switch Impressions – Matto Edition”
A few days ago I received a package from a mysterious company named Nodens Enterprises. It addressed me as Grubdog so I knew it had to be gaming related, but how did they know my address? Inside was an interesting art book with characters and locations, but no writing or context. Looked cool, but I was confused. I’d never heard of this game and I didn’t order anything like it. I dug through the package and found a letter.
I’ve heard a lot of bad things about this game, but I know better than to believe game journalists these days. I avoided Devil’s Third mainly because I couldn’t justify a $90 game where you shoot with the analog stick. With the game inevitably bombing I was able to do a deal with the devil and get a cheap copy. Sad but that’s life sometimes. With Switch replacing the Wii U it’s a great time to pick up some cheap games you missed. The unique design of Devil’s Third stood out to me, and even if it was bad, at this point I didn’t care. I had to try it, when a game gets such a polarising reception there is usually something special about it. I popped the disc in today and I’m blown away. The game is not polarising at all, and quite simply fun to play.
We are nearing the end of an era as the Switch draws near with Splatoon 2 in hand. All the squids are growing up. Yet still here I am, playing Splatoon on Wii U and enjoying it like it’s the first day of release. This game changed my life in such a positive way. I absolutely love the gameplay and the community. It’s fiercely competitive in the highest tiers of Ranked, but also very friendly and welcoming in the plaza and Turf Wars. This little writeup is for a special part of the community I haven’t talked about in my previous Splatfest writeups, the Japanese gamers.