Doom Eternal – Always Offline

This game was recommended to me by Isabelle while we were chatting in the Town Hall. She said she spent the weekend “ripping and tearing” and when I noticed that my town’s weeds were still there, I asked her what she meant. “Doom Eternal, it’s pretty hype”. Oh okay, thanks for the recommendation Isabelle. I can’t believe I hadn’t played it yet, she said it was one of the biggest games of the year so far. I got my hands on an Xbox copy and I was excited to finally start the game up. However, that excitement quickly turned to confusion.

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Borderlands Prime 3 – Guns, Love & Tentacles

Pull up a chair and let me tell you a story.

After losing everything at the casino, I’ve started a brand new life. My character Zane was maxed out to lvl57, with nowhere left to go. I received a wedding invitation in the mail to remind me of what’s important. Love! Hammerlock and Wainwright were getting married and wanted their favourite vault hunter to do the honours. Fresh with inspiration, I made a brand new character, FL4K. I’m still the same person, I just look and talk like a robotic slayer now. I’ve also got a pet Skag! He’s a good boy and sometimes coughs up extra ammo.

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Deadly Premonition – Sequel in the Coffee

Can you believe it, Zach? Deadly Premonition is getting a sequel. Not only that, but the first game has been revived on Nintendo Switch. I was a huge fan of the original 10 years ago, and this was perhaps the most shocking announcement I’ve ever seen in a Nintendo Direct. I had accepted the game as a one-of thing, and never even considered a sequel after the director had moved on. I should have known, Zach. Directors never move on. The coffee warned me about this.


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Moxxi’s Heist of the Handsome Jackpot – Blow Up The Pokies

If you think being in lockdown for a few months is bad, try 7 years. Now imagine you are locked in a casino. Someone has come to bail you out, but it’s too late. You’ve become a bitter, twisted, addicted, Borderlands enemy.

It’s not all bad. Meet “All-in” Alan, he’s having the time of his life. “7 years? I didn’t even notice! My big win is just around the corner!”. As long as he has his optimism, he’s winning on the inside.

Moxxi’s Heist of the Handsome Jackpot is the first paid DLC released for Borderlands 3, and just like a real casino, there’s a lot going on behind the scenes. You’re also not going to get your money back. It was hard to understand the angle of this before playing it, but it starts to make sense when you get there. This casino is so big, it exists as its own planetary structure floating in space by itself. The owner is missing in action and security protocols have come into effect, locking people inside for the last 7 years with no way out. Many events have unfolded in those years so you’re not just “going to a casino” in this campaign, but discovering an entire civilization of depraved casino dwellers.

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Tonight We Riot – The Official Game of Antifa

Developed by the worker owned cooperative Pixel Pushers Union 512, Tonight We Riot is a side scrolling crowd brawler with a retro-anarcho-communist aesthetic. Set in 20XX, Tonight We Riot depicts a society at breaking point under the oppression of capitalism, with the working masses living precarious lives in service of the capitalist owners whose power is entrenched through owning the media and political institutions. So pretty much like right now, without the global pandemic.

Before we go on, a big trigger warning for any reactionary readers we might have who prefer their video games to not contain politics; Tonight We Riot is unashamedly political, featuring not only women but people who are not white too.

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“Nintendo Insiders” Are Idiots and You Need To Stop Paying Attention To Them

Well, something interesting just got revealed from an ex-Retro Studios concept artist. Here is what they are. I’d say the art looks good, but the concept wasn’t good enough for Nintendo to put down money. This of course leads to concern trolling Nintendo insiders being what I call “Cancel Grievers”, meaning they concern troll Nintendo’s operations of it’s developers because of could’ve been projects that we hardly knew anything about. Continue reading ““Nintendo Insiders” Are Idiots and You Need To Stop Paying Attention To Them”