Nintendo NEEDS you to shut up

I’m sure you’ve all seen the tired arguments, Nintendo “needs” to get more third party support, they “need” to put more core gigaflops in Wii U, they “need” to offer ten different controllers. Well sure that’d all be great, why not throw in ten free games with the console too.

They don’t fucking need to do anything but make games. Nintendo is a shitty business, they exist because they make incredible games. They’d fucking float out to sea and die if they jumped into the world of viral marketing and backstreet handjobs against Microsoft and Sony. It’s not a happy place. These companies are content to throw away billions of dollars a year and never make a cent on their gaming consoles, just to look good. Sony’s lost money 4 years straight by tugging on developers cocks and getting dirty. They’ve lost all the money they made in the PS1 and PS2 era, the two most successful game consoles of all time. Not only that but game studios within Sony are being closed left and right. If Nintendo started pissing in the wind they would have nothing left.

I’m sick of Nintendo being held accountable for the timid, undecisive nature of other game companies. Let them RUN THEIR OWN AFFAIRS. Hold THEM accountable. Nintendo can not, and should not try and run other companies. If they offer Rockstar 50 million dollars for Grand Theft Auto, Microsoft will offer them 100 million. It’s a dead end. Let developers invest in a PS4 / 720 game, let them fucking die in the desert if the game they spent a fortune to make has no userbase. Let them port their old games to Wii U and ignore the new controller. They are the ones who should be held accountable. 2K Games aren’t bringing Bioshock Infinite to Wii U? Pester THEM about it.

“According to Satoru Iwata, Nintendo is “open to Wii U exclusives”, but they are not willing to pay developers for it. Iwata told gaming trade publication Gamasutra that they do not wish to enter a costly bidding war with the likes of Microsoft in order to get a title exclusive to the Wii U console. However, Iwata did point out that Nintendo is very interested in partnering with third parties who have a “very unique use of the Wii U functionality”.”

This is a smart man, and he should not be criticised for this firm stance. Here’s Reggie Fils-Aime presenting Zombi U on Jimmy Fallon’s show. This is Ubisoft’s new game.

They are pretty damn accommodating to developers who give a shit. Nintendo doesn’t hesitate to let Sega make an Olympics game with Mario, which by the way is Sega’s highest selling game of all time. Nintendo happily threw a Mario song in Just Dance. Nintendo is helping develop Lego City: Undercover.

Wii U is a new platform that offers new ways to play games and we should be grateful for it. If developers don’t want to utilise the Wii U features, then I don’t want their games on Wii U. That’s fine, I want Wii U games on Wii U.

Stop bitching about Nintendo closing the door, and bitch about the people who show up to the door half-naked with flies buzzing around their armpits.

49 thoughts on “Nintendo NEEDS you to shut up

  1. When you think about some of the things publishers have done to stay afloat-always online DRM, online passes, locked DLC-it’s amazing how ‘hardcore’ gamers summon hate against Nintendo. Nintendo has never tried to screw any of their consumers over for more money and they never forced any gamer to have something they don’t need to do something they may not enjoy.

    And credit to the person who made the point that ‘hardcore’ gamers never put their money where their games are. Nintendo knew this and went after everyone else and won. Game ‘journalists’ will never be happy because video gaming isn’t just their hobby anymore.


    1. Not to mention the fact that it was Sony and MS, not Nintendo, who royally screwed over a significant portion of their users this gen with colossal $^&# ups. The generation with contained two of the most infamous cluster#*%$’s in modern gaming history (the RROD and PSN hack fiasco’s) and it was the company not responsible for either that everyone chose to hate.


  2. I think its absolutely adorable the gaming media are once again playing the “Nintendo is the doomed!11” card again (Kotaku being the most hateful of the bunch, surprise!). I have said once and I will say it again: “hardcore” fans who were “abandoned” by Nintendo never bought a Gamecube, didn’t buy games like Excitebots or Sin & Punishment, and its Nintendo’s own fault those games underperformed? Good lord when I heard someone make this excuse I wall banged my head for days. Again, THEY MADE A GAME YOU WANTED BUT YOU REFUSED TO BUY IT BECAUSE ALL YOU DO IT BITCH. No wonder Xenoblade is exclusive only to Gamestop, Nintendo knew it was a hard sell because of the wide-spread insults the Wii was getting.

    On the other hand, I feel content knowing that this generation alone these abandoned fans didn’t do much to save developers who hemorrhaged money and didn’t see a dime back. Factor 5? They are dead. Free Radical? Got screwed over by Sony AND Lucasarts and got swallowed up by Crytek (probably making another generic shooter as I speak). Rocksteady? They nearly went belly-up after Arkham Asylum, which everyone loved but barely made money back.

    STFU and FOAD.


  3. This is exactly what I have been saying for years If the 3rd parties can’t figure out how to sell on Nintendo’s hardware then it’s their own damned fault! Just Dance sold MILLIONS and it was all Ubisoft!


  4. All I can say is eating while reading a pietriots article is a bad idea. I choked on the last sentence… X_X


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