Rocket League Journeyman Retires

Rocket League journeyman player Roland announced his retirement to stunned teammates and opponents, after scoring an own goal to seal defeat for his team, in his 1000th match of competitive Rocket League on Switch.

The announcement came a shock to all with no one even saying ‘gg’ in quick chat after the match, despite constant quick chat taunts and banter throughout the match.

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In the match, where Roland’s orange team went down 2-0 to Blue, Roland contributed with a game high 3 saves to make up for the own goal he scored

“I always wanted to go out on my terms, before my skills faded” Roland said to media afterwards.

“I’d actually made my mind up earlier in the week, I woke up and knew it was time, but I thought I’d push through to the 1000 match milestone.”

Thanks for 1000 matches Fuck carrying these zoomers
Roland left a parting shot at the “performance” of his team”mates”.

When pressed for more details he responded, “A combination of factors, really, season 8 was coming to and end, the Rocket Pass didn’t sit well with me, my skills felt like they had plateaued and to top it off Nintendo want to charge me to play online.”

“No I actually think I had been reading the game better than ever, I had really worked on my offensive pressure recently, but I just couldn’t get the old car to get where I wanted to go.”

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Signs of a tiring body. Roland took 6 shots for no goals.

Roland stressed that while he won’t be playing solo competitive games on his own anymore, this wasn’t a final goodbye. “I’ll always be involved somehow, I’ll play the odd casual game with teammates, take it one game at a time… Maybe I’ll coach!”

Although no one asked, his management released this video of apparent highlights from his career.

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