Did you see that? Something bouncing around your peripheral vision… probably nothing. Wait, what was that sound? A faint cry… probably a bird. At night time? Hmm. Those unexplained little specs and sounds don’t mean you’re crazy, there’s actually a logical explanation. Spirits have entered the world and they’ve taken residence in your house, at your local park and everywhere you take your 3DS. How convenient! They are invisible to our human eyes, but now there’s a software app on DSiWare that exposes their presence in the world and lets us play with them!
Continue reading “Spirit Hunters Inc. – Now Hiring”
Well, it’s official – I am a filthy casual kiddy grandma gimmick gamer, intent on ruining the secret underground club of hardcore. Thanks to the 3DS’ heavenly OCD ability to keep track of absolutely everything you play, it turns out I’ve put just a bit of time into Hudson’s humble little DSiWare title Tetris Party Live.
Continue reading “Tetris sure knows how to throw the loneliest parties”
“Sweet moves, Beef McGravy!”
“Thanks, coach! It was all thanks to your constant harassment and sharp-edged threats that I’m here today, competing for my country in the Olympics.”
“The what – the what did you say?! I’ll cut’cha with my axe! This is the Decathlon 2012, son! Go for bronze!”
Continue reading “Decathlon 2012 – Running at three frames per 100 metres”
Before he became a plumber to partake in typical plumber-like duties such as punching bricks, crushing turtles, crotch-polishing flagpoles and breaking into castles to let off fireworks, Mario owned a cement factory. True story. He made sure to let people know it was his, calling it Mario’s Cement Factory. This wasn’t a joint business venture with his brother – no, this was all Mario. Presumably Luigi just owned a gun, which he’d point towards the back of his trembling mouth each and every night.
Mario’s Cement Factory is one of those few Game & Watch games re-released through the DSiWare service. I like the idea of having these available for 200 Points ($3 something in Kangaroo money) a pop, but also lay awake in bed at night with the thought of never getting another awesome Game & Watch Gallery cartridge compilation ever again. This is a faithful replica of the original 1983 LCD handheld, and as far as Game & Watch games go, it’s probably one of the more hectic.
For whatever reason, Mario’s decided to do this all by himself. Conveyor belts dump bags of cement into chutes on both sides of the screen non-stop. As the company was put together with a budget of fifty seven cents, these have to be manually emptied and can only hold three bags at a time before the entire factory comes to a grinding halt. Naturally, arriving at this dreadful situation kills Mario and perhaps the universe itself.
Continue reading “Mario’s Cement Factory”