Reggie Kart Videos – E3 2009

Drive down memory lane and relive past glory as NOA REGGIE thickly forges another year of Expanded Audience Gaming. The smell of E3 journalists and 3rd Party Shameware is in the air, summoning Reggie to storm the online kart network and celebrate the Casual Consumer Conference — Reggie’s annual tradition, documented thru the wizardy of cyberspace video.

Join Reggie as he celebrates countless servings of SORE ASS on the EVE OF E3 2009. How does Reggie relax and prepare for the show floor after flexing his Casual Might during the press conference? He cracks open a beer then TAKES NAMES on the worldwide kart circuit. Then he gets more beer and watches the replays.

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Reggie can be in two places at once. A single Mii cannot contain him.

Things take on interesting turn on the SECOND NIGHT OF E3 2009 as he patrols the worldwide servers for ASS in the name of justice. What did Reggie encounter?

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Wave Race: Blue Storm, F-Zero GX Videos

I remember when racing games had variety. These videos can remind us when times were good.

I remember when racing games had variety, racing that was out-of-this-world that they felt like adventures. N64 had Mario Kart SIXTY FOUR, Diddy Kong Racing, Beetle Adventure Racing, F-Zero X, Wave Race SIXTY FOUR, Ridge Racer Better than Usual, San Francisco Awesome Rush, Cruisin’ Bleh, and a few others not worth mentioning like Star Wars: Poo Racer. Nintendo GAMECUBE had Mario Kart 128, Wave Race: Blue Storm, F-Zero GX, Burnout 2, even 1080*: Avalanche, and I forget the rest. Wii has Mario Kart, F1 2009, Kart Racer, NASCAR Kart Racing, M&Ms Kart Racing, and Mario Kart. Right.

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A Night with Dunaway

Last night I had Cammie Dunaway over. I found it unusual that she’d be in Perth this close to E3 so I said “You’re not leaving yourself much time.”
“Hehe, for what sweety?” Cammie replied.
“E3 of course, it took me over 24 hours to fly to L.A.”
“Oh we’ve already done it silly.”
“Done E3? The press conference and everything?”
“Yeah we recorded it last week, everyone who attended is under an NDA. Only the internet hasn’t found out yet, hehehe.”

This was a lot for me to take in so I motioned for her to get back to sucking my cock. Over the next hour, when she came up for a breather, she filled me in on what happened.

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Disaster: Day of Crisis

Title screen

A convoluted development and Reggie hating it was enough to turn most people away from Disaster: Day of Crisis. Hopefully in Valhalla, Moses will forgive these people and allow them the opportunity to enjoy this game in the afterlife.

You play as some guy. I can’t remember his name because he’s your generic all-American hero. You know the drill: high school football star, ex-Marine, closet homosexual. There’s one word that really describes him properly: dominator. This guy just dominates wherever he goes. Volcano exploding? He’ll just dominate that and run through fire. Special Forces holding hostages and a SWAT team getting shot to pieces? He’ll dominate that by running in in his tank top and hand gun. He gets involved in the story because his dead boyfriend’s sister was captured, she works as the secretary to a real man’s job – a seismologist – and as her only tenuous connection to the past the cops thought to bring him aboard in a giant scheme involving nuclear weapons and man-induced disasters.

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