Whelp, it’s already here. On November 18th, the Wii U ushered in a new generation of Nintendo hardware, and I’m very excited. Once again, we have a new controller that will deliver different experiences – but as we all know only niche developers and Nintendo will do something about it. Third parties? Haha don’t make me laugh, seriously.
The REGGIE SERIES is BACK, barely ahead of some JRPG that a handful of psychos cried for. NOA REGGIE ignored their grievances, spending his time more wisely by Wii-Playing with himself.
It’s been more than a year since Wii Play: Motion arrived, and like it or not, it offered a few glimpses of near-future gameplay elements Nintendo demonstrated in 2011 via 3DS and the upcoming Wii U. It explored additional curiosities beyond Wii Sports Resort, bringing another variety of “basic” motion concepts to life with effective results. Shamefully, the MotionPlus possibilities were hardly revisited in the context of more “complete” products by other game makers (aside from disastrous gimmicks on other systems) until the release of Skyward Sword. Wii Play: Motion is not robust – this 12-mini-game demo pack was never priced to be – but it is somewhat diverse, and some mini-games surprisingly have a lot more content than others (the very term “mini-game” is a bit misleading, making it sound like a one-shot deal worth only a minute before moving on to something new; each activity has a varying number of single and/or multiplayer modes, stages, and difficulty like its predecessor), but you can’t really count on journalists like GI-GN’s Gerstmasamassina to share useful information, can you. To top it off, these itty-bitty games actually work – no privacy-invading webcams and neon balls to calibrate.
Anyway, I have some inappropriate video and gameplay to observe. Reggie demonstrates.
The REGGIE SERIES is BACK, enhanced with the power of Reggie MotionPlus.
Epic. His throbbing demand increases.
Getting some housekeeping done by clearing these years-old Super Smash Bros. Brawl videos from my hard drive. This batch covers the latest 10 videos dated from June 16 to June 21, 2008. Included are few random Basic Brawls; a couple matches with fellow Pietriot, “Mario”; and some matches with Maxi from the crusty old Former Nintendo Fan Report Planet (FNFRP). See the link below.
If you remember “Mario” from FNFRP, you’re old like us =[
View/Download
Super Smash Bros. Brawl, 10 60fps videos (DivX)
Dragon Quest has gone from being a series I’d never played or cared for, to one of my favourite series in gaming in the space of a year. It all started with the release of Dragon Quest IX; I decided to give it a chance because I love most other RPGs on DS and I wanted to see what the series was all about. IX seemed like the most accessible one yet, and the canvass mode also intrigued me.
The video speaks for itself…
I was supposed to add some Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles: The Crystal Bearers videos to my collection a year ago, but didn’t get around to it until this month. Whoops. Ever since finishing the game, I wanted to share some footage to help address a certain aspect of the gameplay. In the link you’ll find some videos demonstrating the primary mechanics as I mess around with NPCs and give monsters “the business”.
(DivX video link at end of post)
Let’s make this clear: the manual camera is a huuuge part of the gameplay.
Continue reading “You’re playing it wrong – The Crystal Bearers (with videos)”
Have you wondered what Reggie does in his spare time when he’s not off kicking ass and taking names? He’s off playing that kiddy Mario Kart Wii game and mugging himself into every possible shot of the action! Here are just a select few of these sightings…
Reggie gives other racers a generous head-start while he mugs for the camera.
Reggie forgets his list of names, and pulls a sharp 180 in the middle of the race to go back and get it…
Reggie makes sure the camera is watching as he takes a tight drift without even looking at the road.
Reggie shows off his wheelie doom-kart abilities. Why? Because HE CAN. BUT! (PLOT TWIST) Continue reading “How much Reggie can you fit into a kart? THIIIIIIIIIIIS MUCH! (not to scale)”
NOA REGGIE is busy tonight, flying thru the skies, proudly thrusting his Nintendo DS to light the way (DQ9 is paused for the moment). Reindeer don’t pull his sleigh; Reggie pulls them. He’s visiting homes, crashing thru rooftops (“I don’t need your weak chimney – if you don’t have one, you’ll get one“), making a list, taking names. If you’re not on his list…
Sometimes I purposefully get the game over scenes just to see what happens. Real gamers care more about experiencing the game than their stats. Plus, if I never die in a game, it’d be just like real life. The only way to really lose is to not explore, to not experience.
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Join Reggie as he celebrates the first night of E3 2010: new software announcements, 3DS, ZELDASS, glorious sales data — all this excitement rapidly increases Reggie’s appetite. Surrounded by so many “game journalists,” Reggie can’t wait to thickly forge his foot against their flabby seats. Deep down, your behind is still sore from last year’s celebration. Punt.
(video link at end of post)
Reggie disapproves of any DK-themed track.
Join Reggie as he celebrates countless servings of SORE ASS on the EVE OF E3 2009. How does Reggie relax and prepare for the show floor after flexing his Casual Might during the press conference? He cracks open a beer then TAKES NAMES on the worldwide kart circuit. Then he gets more beer and watches the replays.
(video link at end of post)
Reggie can be in two places at once. A single Mii cannot contain him.
Things take on interesting turn on the SECOND NIGHT OF E3 2009 as he patrols the worldwide servers for ASS in the name of justice. What did Reggie encounter?
I remember when racing games had variety, racing that was out-of-this-world that they felt like adventures. N64 had Mario Kart SIXTY FOUR, Diddy Kong Racing, Beetle Adventure Racing, F-Zero X, Wave Race SIXTY FOUR, Ridge Racer Better than Usual, San Francisco Awesome Rush, Cruisin’ Bleh, and a few others not worth mentioning like Star Wars: Poo Racer. Nintendo GAMECUBE had Mario Kart 128, Wave Race: Blue Storm, F-Zero GX, Burnout 2, even 1080*: Avalanche, and I forget the rest. Wii has Mario Kart, F1 2009, Kart Racer, NASCAR Kart Racing, M&Ms Kart Racing, and Mario Kart. Right.
(video link at end of post)
Last night I had Cammie Dunaway over. I found it unusual that she’d be in Perth this close to E3 so I said “You’re not leaving yourself much time.”
“Hehe, for what sweety?” Cammie replied.
“E3 of course, it took me over 24 hours to fly to L.A.”
“Oh we’ve already done it silly.”
“Done E3? The press conference and everything?”
“Yeah we recorded it last week, everyone who attended is under an NDA. Only the internet hasn’t found out yet, hehehe.”
This was a lot for me to take in so I motioned for her to get back to sucking my cock. Over the next hour, when she came up for a breather, she filled me in on what happened.
Pietriots 