Gamers, stop being shit and buy a Wii U

It’s been a while since I’ve done a rant, which means a lot of rage has built up. I’m going to deliver it to you right now in the form of a reality check on the state of the gaming industry. It’s gotten to such a bad state in the past few years I’ve just avoided talking or thinking about it and happily played my games. Iwata was right in 2000-2004 about graphics not being important. In 2015 he’s still right. He’s been right every time he’s opened his mouth and prophetised games declining in value (aka the end of the world) which IS NOW UPON US.

JAPAN-GAME-COMPANY-NINTENDO-DENA

Continue reading “Gamers, stop being shit and buy a Wii U”

Nintendo: A Good Problem To Have

It’s no secret that Nintendo struggled in 2013. Despite the continued success of 3DS, Wii U sales were significantly lower than expected and profits are down. Instead of trying to cover it up by selling buildings and firing 10,000 employees, Iwata has come clean and said he needs to do better. The Blame Game has now become front-runner for GOTY 2014 with everyone becoming an expert on how the company should be run. Blah Blah Blah marketing. Hurp Durp Burp profits and IPs. Luigi should step down. There’s too much Mario. Pikmin is too weird. Iwata should be fired. The bottom line is; the world has changed and Nintendo should adapt.

So what should they turn into, this?

zeldanope

Continue reading “Nintendo: A Good Problem To Have”

Fuck the Nokia N-Gage

There is nothing engaging abut the N-Gage. Seriously, fuck this sideways taco phone. $600 bucks? Are you fucking shitting me, Nokia? I’m hating their ads the most though. Lucky they’re just way too easy to make fun of.

One of the shittier websites I sometimes visit incorporated the N-Gage into their entire layout.

And they’ve got their fucken social website for whatever where you have to post a picture of yourself with your N-Gage. God, if I ever see someone with an N-Gage in real life I will just outright laugh at them. Fucking morons.