SSX has finally arrived in HD! After a failed Wii game that nobody could figure out how to play, EA has been inspired by recent market trends and added some grit and realism to the franchise. What’s it like? A demo has just been released on PSN and Xbox Live, go download it! If you can’t be arsed, or you’re waiting for the demo to be available to Xbox Live standard members like me; then read on as Infernal Monkey shares his experience!
Infernal Monkey – installing SSX demo! i really hope this is good
Bill – LOL don’t worry, it won’t be
Infernal Monkey – BUT
Pro Daisy – 360 is still not powerful enough to create shadows that don’t look like a cloud of mosquitos on your character
Grubdog – oooh neat, how big is the demo, around 1gb?
Infernal Monkey – yeah it’s huge, 1.2GB
Pro Daisy – the fuck
Infernal Monkey – BOOTING UP
Infernal Monkey – 720p, next gen
Infernal Monkey – two logo screens
Pro Daisy – good thing you bought the 32gb vita card
Infernal Monkey – so far
Bill – those loading screens are 500MB each
Grubdog – game is twice as good as the first
Infernal Monkey – loading
Infernal Monkey – hahahaha
Pro Daisy – LOL
Grubdog – loading two games
Infernal Monkey – ‘Connecting to RiderNet’
Pro Daisy – YUCK
Grubdog – LOL wtf
Infernal Monkey – omg i have to agree to terms to play this fucking demo
Pro Daisy – ‘ShooterNet’
Bill – HAHAHAHHAHAA YOU FELL FOR EA’S TRAP
Grubdog – “do you promise to buy the full game”
Pro Daisy – ‘RacerNet’
Pro Daisy – LOLOLOLOL
Bill – surprised they don’t make you log into an EA account to play it
Infernal Monkey – EA ORIGIN ACCOUNT WHAT
Grubdog – AHAHAHA
Bill – HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHA
Infernal Monkey – IT’S A FUCKING DEMO
Pro Daisy – AHAHAHHHAH
Pro Daisy – AHAHAHAH
Bill – HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Pro Daisy – BAHAHAHHHA
Pro Daisy – LLAHAHAHAHHA
Deguello – Jesus
Bill – gotta sign up if you wanna play :^^
Pro Daisy – this could’ve been a skype experience
Grubdog – do you HAVE to log in or is it an option?
Bill – HAVE to
Pro Daisy – HAVE TO BE TRACKED
Bill – AND :rape
Pro Daisy – HAVE TO RECEIVE ADVERTISEMENTS
Pro Daisy – product placement
Infernal Monkey – hahahahahaha
Infernal Monkey – LOL WHAT
Pro Daisy – edgy trailers
Grubdog – if you were a member, you’d get THREE logo screens! missing out, man
Infernal Monkey – i just left it at that origin account screen for a little bit, and now a video of the game is suddenly playing
Pro Daisy – LOL THAT’S ALL YOU GET
Infernal Monkey – CAN’T SKIP IT
Infernal Monkey – FUCK
Grubdog – LOL A TRAILER OF THE DEMO
Pro Daisy – ‘THE FUN YOU COULD HAVE ON ORIGIN’
Infernal Monkey – uuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh
Bill – LOL
Infernal Monkey – i think the demo is starting now????
Pro Daisy – that’s a bargain for 1.2gb
Grubdog – :O
Infernal Monkey – whoa i’m in the game!
Bill – hahahahhaa wtf
Infernal Monkey – TAKE THAT ORIGIN
Bill – found a glitch in the system
Pro Daisy – but for the controller to register “left” on the control stick, you have to enter an account
Grubdog – hopefully the game isn’t as broken as the intro
Pro Daisy – maybe origin made an account FOR YOU
Bill – hahahahaha
Infernal Monkey – LOL just about to jump out of the helicopter, screen freezes with a tutorial “do you want hints for steering or for tricks?” I DON’T WANT HINTS AT ALL JESUS CHRIST
Pro Daisy – LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pro Daisy – LET ME DOWN
Grubdog – AHAHAHA it’s like someone tapped you on the shoulder and said “SECOND THOUGHTS?”
Infernal Monkey – ahahahhhahah
Grubdog – fuck. it doesn’t even give you a tip, it ASKS you. could have used the SAME SCREEN to just give the tip
Infernal Monkey – oh geez the helicopter pilot is the tutorial voice over guy and he has a piss-poor Australian accent
Grubdog – hahaha the new trend
Infernal Monkey – oh good lord he just called me ‘luv’
Grubdog – LOL!
Grubdog – now that’s a good reason to jump out
Infernal Monkey – LOL
Pro Daisy – LOL!
Infernal Monkey – aaand that’s the tutorial done 😐
Pro Daisy – here’s what i like about Nintendo Direct: it’s a press conference without… THE PRESS
Grubdog – good god that was about 5 minutes
Deguello – LOL YEah without somebody asking about fucking Uncharted again
Grubdog – to say what, left and right to turn, buttons to trick?
Pro Daisy – LOL PIKMIN? IS IT COMING?
Infernal Monkey – hahaha yep, pretty much
Pro Daisy – LOL WILL YOU CATER TO CORE GAMERS?
Pro Daisy – LOL WILL YOU HAVE NEW IPS?
Infernal Monkey – i had to do 22 different (yes 22) tricks in an endless freefall until it was satisfied
Grubdog – what the fuck
Pro Daisy – LOL DO YOU VIEW SMARTPHONES AND TABLETS AS UNICORNS AND LEPRECHAUNS?
Grubdog – congrats, you just beat the game
Infernal Monkey – ahahahhaaha
Infernal Monkey – dubstep track has kicked in
Pro Daisy – ahahahah ssx, i thought it asked you log in every 30s
Grubdog – geez that sure takes the fun out of finding unique button combos
Infernal Monkey – WWWWEEEEOOOOW WUBBA DUBBA DUBBA
Infernal Monkey – yep =\
Infernal Monkey – HERE COMES THE ACTUAL DEMO
Grubdog – LOL, THIS TIME, SURELY
Grubdog – “Thanks for Playing”
Pro Daisy – “do you want hints for starting the real demo?”
Grubdog – i wonder if the demo has any DLC
Pro Daisy – “Get more hints in the full version!”
Infernal Monkey – LOL i just crashed and a tutorial box popped up saying i can rewind time and try again
Infernal Monkey – DID THIS GAME REALLY NEED A PRINCE OF PERSIA
Grubdog – LOL
Bill – hahahahahahha
Grubdog – well you might wanna make the most of that feature, if the alternative is starting again through all those screens
Infernal Monkey – HAHAHAA
Infernal Monkey – i can ‘refer’ this demo to a friend from the main menu to unlock another character to play as in the demo
Bill – LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Grubdog – hahahaha omg
Grubdog – i bet that only works with two EA ORIGIN accounts too
Bill – nah, EA wants to rope people into their shitty accounts
Infernal Monkey – ahahhahaaha yep
Grubdog – so that was it? was the gameplay good?
Grubdog – WAS THERE ANY?
Infernal Monkey – it’s not bad after all that bullshit! controls feel really loose though, you can zig zag like crazy still has that SSX mental trick system, run DMC’s ‘tricky’ still kicks in when you’ve got full boost demo tracks not exactly the most exciting thing though, it’s really short
Grubdog – sounds promising