100% pure llama meat

Data East’s accurate hamburger simulation Burger Time – where delicious steamed hams are prepared by stepping all over the ingredients – has a bit of an unfortunate history with box art.

None more so than the Australian packaging for the Commodore 64 port, however…

Yes, that’s a copy of Sonic for the N-Gage on the bed there. Clearly I was going through my “how do I even own these?” box.

Not just for the chef’s completely impossible body, where his legs appear to be directly connected to his tumor-infested gut. Or that he apparently likes to (somehow) walk around banging together two novelty sized buns like a musical instrument. Even his facial expression, which might be the result of some rather unpleasant thoughts about that big ‘ol mutant hot dog, could be shrugged off with only minimal counselling.

Why… why are there llamas lining up to enter his burger joint? Well, let’s take a look at the instruction manual, printed on the back of the box for ultimate budget release fun times.

Ah, oka-no. This isn’t mentioned in any other version of Burger Time throughout the several thousand other systems it was ported to. Just the Commodore 64. But I mean, whatever, exclusively serving llama meat hamburgers – good for him.

But WHY are the llamas lining up the front to their death? Does the chef (a mister “Jumping Jeff”‘) really just slaughter them right there in the kitchen? What, does he clang ’em to death with his buns? Why are llamas just, you know, casually strolling around town in the first place?

Are those llamas actually customers, waiting to eat other llamas like the fluffy cannibals of the sea they really are, so that the chef can then kill them for double the llama infused burger goodness? Is Jumping Jeff secretly saving the human race through his deranged state of sexual madness?

So many questions. Burger Time for the Commodore 64 is a horrible upsized nightmare of a meal deal.

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