Rumor: Chinese Kids Forced To Read Kotaku

Excited about the upcoming article from Kotaku? Don’t be. Unconfirmed reports confirm that China has the internet, and there are boys as young as 14-16 in China who either work or study, most likely in factories and buildings. These boys have allegedly been subjected to journalism of the lowest order. A supposed person with no name from an unidentified source has been monitoring the situation, and gave us a clear picture;

“Some didn’t make it through the article and returned to their educational facilities to be upstanding and untainted. The rest fell victim to curiosity and witnessed shoddy hit-piece journalism, and were left contemplating the importance of information. These kids haven’t been heard from since, or in the first place. Authorities are on high alert due to an unrelated threat.”

Startling. Not content with this mid-level sensationalism, we sought to push the Kotaku scandal further and find some actual proof. Pietriots did some digging and who did we find? A 14 year old Chinese kid with no education who spoke perfect English.

“I admit I did read it. Every bit. From 4pm I was scanning the article, maybe for half an hour. It’s uncertain when I stopped. I feared that if I stopped reading, I wouldn’t have a clear picture of the situation. Now I don’t know what to think, but I know it’s serious and those responsible should be named and shamed.”

We at Pietriots have quality sources and no intent on making more professional, popular websites look bad in any way. Kotaku has published some fantastic articles in the past, but their recent dealings with shoddy writers is of great concern. Not only are they guilty of poorly researched journalism in this article; it has exposed the entire website to an audit scandal. They are also the only website on the internet with a poorly researched article. Kotaku claims it monitors the behavior of its journalists and does routine checks, but how did they miss this? Does Kotaku really know what’s going on with their writers? This is not a violation of the law, but a violation of the MUB act of Made Up Bullshit. There are enough question marks hanging over this situation to make Michael Pachter’s head spin, but it’s safe to conclude that Kotaku should look for a new writer. Think of the poor kids.

2 thoughts on “Rumor: Chinese Kids Forced To Read Kotaku

  1. We have to band together to protect the children. Isn’t that right, paranoid, overprotective white moms?


    1. Yeah moms, make sure you talk to your kids about journalism and monitor their internet habits every day. You can protect children by keeping a closer eye on them using the new features of your Chinese Iphone FiVe.


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