Why I am excited for Metroid: Samus Returns

Depending on the circumstances, I am fine with being wrong. Can’t always be right about things, but much to my shock it turns out Nintendo had two new Metroid games in the works. One, which is coming out soon (September 15th!), is a full reimagining of the Game Boy title Metroid 2 for the 3DS. Metroid Prime 4 for Switch is still to be determined, but I guess the terrible Metroid fanbase* did not deter them after all.

*Fact: I still hate the Metroid fandom and think they are a blight on the series.

So with it’s impending release, I thought it would be best to talk about why I am excited for this new Metroid game. Continue reading “Why I am excited for Metroid: Samus Returns”

Matto’s Favorite Switch Presentation Moments

Right, so. Nintendo had it’s big Switch reveal, and most of the Pietriots, myself included, were there to watch it. So while everyone is busy trying to downplay the positive reception to the reveal (ie selfish YouTubers, Game Jounalists, and those scared of motion controls still), I decided to list some of my favorite moments from the reveal. Let’s get going, shall we?
Continue reading “Matto’s Favorite Switch Presentation Moments”

Stuck in the Middle

There’s quite a lot of discussion on the internet in the past few days concerning the censorship of video games, pressure from so-called “Social Justice Warriors,” and pressure from so-called “GamerGaters.” The crux of this discussion appears to center around the latest installment of the Fire Emblem series, Fire Emblem: Fates, although there has been other recent controversies concerning games like Dead or Alive Extreme 3 and Fatal Frame: Maiden of Black Water.

Concerning Fire Emblem: Fates, a subquest involving a character named Soleil, who seems to be a female of a bisexual orientation (1 of 3 possible for humans, at least before Tumblr existed), could be romanced by an avatar character of the player’s design. The context of this romance appears to be that Soleil seems to get weak-kneed around cute girls of her type, which lessens her effectiveness in war and impedes her quest to become “smooth,” in her (fan translated at this point) words. The player character concocts a magic potion that makes the imbiber see people in opposite genders (1 of 2, at least before… oh, I already did that joke…) causing Soleil to see people in the opposite gender that they are. This medicine is supplied to Soleil in clandestine means, which to say, her drink was spiked. Hilarious hijinks ensue. This is obviously squarely in 90’s sitcom territory, or something out of the romantic comedy manga Ranma 1/2. The outcome is comical, and at the end the misadventure allows the player avatar to get closer to Soleil and say that she finds interacting with the player character “fun,” regardless of the unawareness of her medication. Who could possibly object?

Soleil
The face that launched a thousand tweets.

Continue reading “Stuck in the Middle”

Let’s Predict The Nintendo NX

– Will be a Nintendo system.

– Will have Nintendo games.

– Third parties will pledge support and then take it away after six months.

– Promised Nintendo exclusive from western third party will go exclusive before launch and be delayed by six months.

– Complaints about no games.

– Complaints about no mature games that can’t be had for free.

– Game reviews for NX will judge games based on if they can save the system.

– Late adopters will go “wait these games were good?!”.

– Potential buyers will go “I will not buy one game for NX” and then go on to buy multiple disappoints for the other guys.

– YouTube Let’s Players will continue to bitch about not getting money for Nintendo.

Can I be a paid gaming journalist now?

Part of the Nintendo Difference: E3 2001

As a follow-up to my previous E3 scan, here’s some subtle marketing Nintendo spread around E3 2001, again, on the back of the E3 Show Daily magazines. Checkout the “interesting” front covers, too, and maybe you’ll question how there could be any excitement for such an unappealing video game industry at the time (as presented by the magazine). “Doug Lowensteins’ State of the Industry 2000-2001 Report: IDSA findings indicate games are fully mainstream…” Yes!…? Wait, is that really a good thing or a bad thing?
Continue reading “Part of the Nintendo Difference: E3 2001”

Gamers, stop being shit and buy a Wii U

It’s been a while since I’ve done a rant, which means a lot of rage has built up. I’m going to deliver it to you right now in the form of a reality check on the state of the gaming industry. It’s gotten to such a bad state in the past few years I’ve just avoided talking or thinking about it and happily played my games. Iwata was right in 2000-2004 about graphics not being important. In 2015 he’s still right. He’s been right every time he’s opened his mouth and prophetised games declining in value (aka the end of the world) which IS NOW UPON US.

JAPAN-GAME-COMPANY-NINTENDO-DENA

Continue reading “Gamers, stop being shit and buy a Wii U”