The fastest download ever has hit the Wii U. I’m not joking, the Future Pack DLC for FAST Racing NEO clocks in at 13mb on the eShop, then somehow turns into a 2mb download on the HOME menu, then installs itself before you can even read the track list. What’s happening? Too late, we’re off.
Continue reading “FAST Racing NEO – Future Pack DLC Bingo GX Deluxe Happy Times Zero Kart 8”
We’ve all done it. You’re playing your favourite legendary videogame with a very important quest to do. Traveling across a field to your next destination, your mind is heavy with responsibility. If only there was something to ease the tension. Swaying in the wind, something catches your eye… fresh grass. Thick, luscious, green, just begging to be cut. A few slashes can’t hurt, right? HYAH! CHOP! Health and money fly out but you don’t even care. The sound effect is rewarding enough. The grass disintegrates into the air along with your troubles. The leafy smell comes through the screen and you start to feel connected to nature. The objective of saving the world fades into the background as you seek out more grass to cut. HYAH! More! MORE! MOOOORE!
Continue reading “The Legend of Kusakari – Freshly Cut Justice”
12.38am. I had eggs for breakfast, but they were far from my mind in the middle of the night. It was Winter and I was lying down watching Summer Games Done Quick, taking in the joy of my favourite hobby from half a world away. One of my favourite reasons to watch speedrun marathons is discovering new games. Runny Egg was up next, and it was a good enough reason to stay on the couch. I’ve never heard of this game, but it looked cheerful enough that I could pretend it was Summer and continue escaping my life.
The Iñupiaq people of Northern Alaska might be the most hardcore gamers to walk this Earth. They create weapons out of the bare nothingness they find in the ice, and use them to hunt seals and birds. One such example is the Bola, a throwing weapon with weights on the ends of strings, made out of bones. They throw it upwards to catch birds, and can score combos by hitting one bird on the way up, then another on the way down. They sometimes even get a third as the birds fall onto each other. With such an opportunistic eye and advanced usage of motion controls, I bet they could get every medal in Star Fox Zero. Now switch that scenario around and put a hardcore gamer in a freezing climate, they would die within a week. The Iñupiaq spend their entire day grinding their survival skills and contributing to the community. They create parkas out of seal intestines and feathers, and sleds out of driftwood and bone. They’ve put thousands of years into this game called living.
There aren’t too many 3D platformers these days so I picked this up on the eShop without even looking at a review or caring about quality. FreezeME is an N64-inspired platformer in the most obvious way, directly ripping off the structure from Mario 64 and Banjo to create a non-linear 3D platformer with multiple objectives in each world. I’ve beaten the game now and had a bit of fun exploring the worlds, but the game has a lot of problems.
Bunnies everywhere. To the left. To the right. In the sky. Under the ground. They’re getting closer. PEW PEW PEW, come on, come onnnnn. MORE BUNNIES, ARE YOU KIDDING ME? PEW PEW PEW and I’m dead.
$100,000 – Deeper
$250,000 – Wider
Jett Rocket is a 3D platformer on WiiWare developed by Shin’en, who have previously made shooters on GBA and DS, most recently Nanostray 2. It’s a different direction for them and a new challenge, but they’ve passed with flying colours. Jett Rocket is amazing.
So there were a bunch of sales on Steam and as usual I was too tentative to buy anything. $5 for 5 indy games? But I already own two and two more of them aren’t Mac compatible! And this fifth game. VVVVVV? Is this the stupidest name ever? A more courageous friend of mine did buy the pack though and a few days ago I played it his place. The next time I could touch my computer I bought this $5 masterpiece.
So as I do I was scrolling through the App Store looking for something new to play. The App Store is insidious in nature, trapping gullible people like myself into impulse purchases. I was browsing the top 25 selling role playing games and this title, Bar Oasis, caught my eye. A game based around working at a cocktail bar with dozens of different cocktail recipes? Original, but I wasn’t sold until I saw the screenshots, focusing on the breasts of the bar’s female clientele and a review from, self described tradie, Aussie123212 who claimed he was unable to put it down.
Pietriots 