RISE: Race The Future – Formula eShop

No need for any explanation. It’s the future, we’re driving, and the lights are green!

Alright so ZR is accelerate, ZL is brake. That’s all I really know going into the first race, with no introduction, text or objective. I got this! The eShop description claims this is “set in the near future, with a new kind of wheel technology” but there’s no story in the actual game. That’s all you really need to know in an arcade racer, to be fair. I hung on to the road as best I could while learning the controls and taking in this immense track detail.

Continue reading “RISE: Race The Future – Formula eShop”

Borderlands: Nintendo Switch Edition Impressions!

After a decade of “Borderlands would be cool on Wii / Wii U / Switch” followed by thinking emojis, something finally happened. Borderlands 1, 2 and The Pre-Sequel have all come out on Switch and I’ve started playing the first game. These were released with no screenshots, footage or impressions so there’s some unknowns that I would like to quickly clear up in this impressions article. Firstly and most importantly, the game has motion controls! Rejoice!

Continue reading “Borderlands: Nintendo Switch Edition Impressions!”

Borderlands Prime 3 – Guns, Love & Tentacles

Pull up a chair and let me tell you a story.

After losing everything at the casino, I’ve started a brand new life. My character Zane was maxed out to lvl57, with nowhere left to go. I received a wedding invitation in the mail to remind me of what’s important. Love! Hammerlock and Wainwright were getting married and wanted their favourite vault hunter to do the honours. Fresh with inspiration, I made a brand new character, FL4K. I’m still the same person, I just look and talk like a robotic slayer now. I’ve also got a pet Skag! He’s a good boy and sometimes coughs up extra ammo.

Continue reading “Borderlands Prime 3 – Guns, Love & Tentacles”

Deadly Premonition – Sequel in the Coffee

Can you believe it, Zach? Deadly Premonition is getting a sequel. Not only that, but the first game has been revived on Nintendo Switch. I was a huge fan of the original 10 years ago, and this was perhaps the most shocking announcement I’ve ever seen in a Nintendo Direct. I had accepted the game as a one-of thing, and never even considered a sequel after the director had moved on. I should have known, Zach. Directors never move on. The coffee warned me about this.


Continue reading “Deadly Premonition – Sequel in the Coffee”

Moxxi’s Heist of the Handsome Jackpot – Blow Up The Pokies

If you think being in lockdown for a few months is bad, try 7 years. Now imagine you are locked in a casino. Someone has come to bail you out, but it’s too late. You’ve become a bitter, twisted, addicted, Borderlands enemy.

It’s not all bad. Meet “All-in” Alan, he’s having the time of his life. “7 years? I didn’t even notice! My big win is just around the corner!”. As long as he has his optimism, he’s winning on the inside.

Moxxi’s Heist of the Handsome Jackpot is the first paid DLC released for Borderlands 3, and just like a real casino, there’s a lot going on behind the scenes. You’re also not going to get your money back. It was hard to understand the angle of this before playing it, but it starts to make sense when you get there. This casino is so big, it exists as its own planetary structure floating in space by itself. The owner is missing in action and security protocols have come into effect, locking people inside for the last 7 years with no way out. Many events have unfolded in those years so you’re not just “going to a casino” in this campaign, but discovering an entire civilization of depraved casino dwellers.

Continue reading “Moxxi’s Heist of the Handsome Jackpot – Blow Up The Pokies”

Tonight We Riot – The Official Game of Antifa

Developed by the worker owned cooperative Pixel Pushers Union 512, Tonight We Riot is a side scrolling crowd brawler with a retro-anarcho-communist aesthetic. Set in 20XX, Tonight We Riot depicts a society at breaking point under the oppression of capitalism, with the working masses living precarious lives in service of the capitalist owners whose power is entrenched through owning the media and political institutions. So pretty much like right now, without the global pandemic.

Before we go on, a big trigger warning for any reactionary readers we might have who prefer their video games to not contain politics; Tonight We Riot is unashamedly political, featuring not only women but people who are not white too.

Continue reading “Tonight We Riot – The Official Game of Antifa”

Borderlands 3 – Revenge of the 80s

The Cartel has arrived to take over Borderlands 3, with the mandatory lock-down requirements of 80s synth music, sports cars and golden toilets.

You’re still gonna need your own toilet paper, though. Everyone here wipes their arse with money.

Revenge of the Cartels is a free event for Borderlands 3 that runs from April 23 to June 4. It’s a rather short romp but offers impressive production values, with a new area, new enemies and new music. It takes place in a villa-style mansion suspended above a giant waterfall and surrounded by an immense natural landscape where dinosaurs wouldn’t look out of place. Continue reading “Borderlands 3 – Revenge of the 80s”

Resident Evil Resistance – Itchy. Tasty. Laggy.

“These f’**k noobs are gonna get us all killed.” – wiseguy69

That was the first thing I heard when I played Resident Evil Resistance. First week of its release, two of us were level 1 in our first game, someone was level 3, and this one person with voice chat was level 7. None of us had a clue what was going on, and this level 7 expert was constantly whining instead of helping. Needless to say, we all died and nobody enjoyed it. Welcome to Resident Evil Online.

Continue reading “Resident Evil Resistance – Itchy. Tasty. Laggy.”

Picross S4 – Rainbow Revolution

A new dimension has opened up in my mind, and it’s consuming everything I once knew. An entire spectrum is threatening the comfort zone of certainty that regular Picross has spent years establishing. There are no breaks anymore, no stops, only different colours. The road doesn’t end, it only changes. A simple yes or no question has now become an open essay. Life will never be the same.

Continue reading “Picross S4 – Rainbow Revolution”

Gato Roboto – Meowtroid Zero Kitten

What if Metroid was a cat? You would finally be able to crawl. It would also be a completely different game with different level design, different movement options and Nintendo probably would have chosen Yoshi to star in the game instead. Hmmm, that wouldn’t be such a bad timeline. We would have a whole genre of Yoshivanias. Moving on from this alternative past, we have a brand new Indie game called Gato Roboto with a similar aesthetic to the original Metroid on NES. You could argue it’s even more ancient as it lacks a full colour palette. However, once you start playing this game it comes to life and impresses with modern movement and design.

Continue reading “Gato Roboto – Meowtroid Zero Kitten”

Resident Evil 3 – Nemesis Never Left

Some would argue this game shouldn’t have been remade, citing it as the “worst Resident Evil game”, but I think that is the perfect reason to remake it. It’s finally getting some justice! I’ve played Resident Evil 3 before and the unique thing about it to me, was always the environments and the perspective from an event happening to you while you’re in the middle of the city. Almost every other Resident Evil involves the main characters purposefully heading into a dangerous situation, but this one takes you by surprise. The city is being torn apart by chaos, and someone wants you dead. Yes YOU, specifically.

In this remake, the destruction and simultaneous beauty of Raccoon City is more evident than ever before, and that’s why I think it was worth remaking. It provides an absolutely stunning spectacle, with the best graphics imaginable with more control over the gameplay than ever.

Continue reading “Resident Evil 3 – Nemesis Never Left”

Doom 64 – Point & Click & Rip & Tear

Another Doom game? You sure mate?

Commonly mistaken as a port of the original Doom, Doom 64 is an original game with its own unique level design, enemies and graphics engine. This is the “third” classic style Doom after 1 and 2, with its own game engine created specifically for the N64. It feels pretty much the same, except the difference with this is that it’s more of a remaster than a port. Doom 1 and 2 have stayed the same since the 90s, but this game has been given a huge upgrade with this Switch port. This is extremely crisp, high-res, widescreen N64 goodness in all its glory. It’s so nice to see games of this era without the blur and slowdown, and I give huge props to Nightdive Studios for bringing both this and Turok back to life on Switch. This game looks really good and plays well.

Continue reading “Doom 64 – Point & Click & Rip & Tear”

Trials of Trails of Cold Steel 3 – Switch Demo

After 20 minutes of this demo I was ready to delete it from my Switch forever. You start off in a busy gameplay sequence at level 35, with dozens of arts, crafts, attacks and formations that make no sense. A battle starts and there are 8 menu buttons for each character. There’s all sorts of bars, EP, CP, HP, TP, NPD, ESRB. Nobody has an actual name, they are just labelled “Pink Haired Girl” or “Blue Haired Guy” etc. for every colour you can think of, it feels like a parody. Is the game meant to be like this? Some kind of war is going on and more characters join you, then more characters appear until you have lost count of everyone and you can’t tell who is on what side. Nothing makes any sense but the music is cool.

Continue reading “Trials of Trails of Cold Steel 3 – Switch Demo”

Rhythm Fit Adventure – Pushup Superstar

First I would like to offer my sympathies to everyone who can’t find a copy of this game. Ring Fit Adventure is sold out across the world, and it’s gonna be a while before it’s readily available again. Even when it launched it was selling well, but now with the virus situation it’s sold out everywhere as a practical way to exercise indoors. It’s being resold on places like eBay for triple the retail price, and Nintendo’s also had to slow down production a bit. Who would have thought it would be this hot an item? Well, at Pietriots we already knew Ring Fit Adventure was Better Than Real Life, and it was also my personal Game of the Year in the Pietriots end of year podcast. Okay, enough gloating.

If you are one of the lucky million people who got their hands on Ring Fit early on, good news! A free update has just launched with a brand new rhythm mode. It features 17 new songs, with two ways to play and multiple difficulties. The songs are mostly from Ring Fit itself, with a couple of guest songs from other Nintendo games like Super Mario Odyssey, Breath of the Wild, Splatoon 2 and Wii Fit.

Continue reading “Rhythm Fit Adventure – Pushup Superstar”