Overpriced Game With No Content

There’s some controversy surrounding a first party Nintendo title. We will refer to it as “Mario Kart Wii“. Since “gamers” have been reacting strongly to it, let’s summarize what they’re talking about.

` ` Mario Kart Wii is only a HALF-HOUR long, yet Nintendo had been charging full price for it. What a rip-off. Standard-Definition games should be $30 at most in the first place, especially when you’re only getting inferior last-generation visuals running on outdated hardware (even the downloadable games are overpriced when high-quality finger-gaming is only 99-cents). Typical laps go from 30sec to maybe 1min (short vs. long tracks). Do each of those once for 16 different tracks (if you can stand all the linear mission-based progress) gives you a half-hour of driving, and the game is over.

Why drive around the track two more times? Driving the first lap was enough to experience the stage’s content – not much there; it’s all over too quickly. Why bother to finish in first? There’s no point in working harder, I drove around once already, I also deserve an achievement for getting so far. Faster/harder modes, Time Trials, Mirror stages – hardly legitimate – these are dishonest ways of artificially lengthening the game. It’s bad enough that Laps 2&3 are redundant.

Multiplayer? Why make me play these tracks AGAIN? Why do MULTIPLE players have to suffer all this repetition together? Nintendo is missing the point: we’re supposed to have fun. Repeating stuff isn’t fresh and it isn’t fun, and those who pay for crap like this are idiots.

Different vehicles? Anything that’s not THE FASTEST is unnecessary, and shouldn’t have been included. Unlockable characters? Mii-drivers? Serious players don’t want non-characters. More importantly, where’s my achievement for unlocking so many of these dumb baby characters, Nintendo? I have about two of them, and my accomplishment should’ve been recognized. Nintendo has yet to understand: there’s no purpose when there’s no reward – this is how modern gaming works. So much dev time was wasted on karts/characters no one will use; if Miyamoto was smart, he would’ve focused more on real content, like user-generated kart skins that I can display in my forum signature.

How dare Nintendo charge us $10 for a GameCube rehash and $40 for a plastic wheel. Gamers don’t fall for gimmicks. If only they listened to us and understood gaming like we do, Wii sales would not have slowed down. ` `

2 thoughts on “Overpriced Game With No Content

  1. While I have played Mario Kart Wii and own a Nintendo Wii, I cannot comment on “Mario Kart Wii” since I don’t own a “Nintendo Wii” yet.

    As for the Serious Gamers, they’re used to playing games that mimic a Hollywood movie style structure and are conditioned to expect games to follow that setup. When the credits roll, that’s the end. And it usually is with your typical 8 hour corridor shooter #543295782.

    So when they’re given a REAL GAME to play, they literally don’t know what to do with it. That’s why they love achievements so much. They have no imagination left so they have to be TOLD how to play the game beyond the regular story/quest/series of cutscenes, and to them that’s replay value even if the objectives for these achievements aren’t fun to do. “The game gave me a banana sticker. Replay value!”

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  2. Exactly. Achievements remind me of that episode of The Simpsons where Skinner bounces a ball for an hour and counts it, then tries to beat it.

    The definition of content in games is becoming less interesting, when the gameplay experience isn’t considered. In music, songs are content, in movies, visuals are content. In games, interaction is content.

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