“Durp!”: Cliffy B – “Switch doesn’t have enough buttons!”

What was originally a series done by fellow Pietriot Bill Aurion now has my filthy hands all over it. Filthy Canadian hands, no less.

So let’s get one thing out of the way first; my respect for major Third Party Publishers, and their developers, who I will call out of disrespect “Thirds” is at an all-time low. I called it back in October last year that Switch’s Third support would be mired by bullshit, and lo’ and behold, it turned out I was right. In recent weeks, we’ve had some dip from THQ Nordic complain about Switch’s lack of power, despite, you know, games like Snake Pass being ported in under a couple of weeks. Then we had the creator of the Oddworld series spout these wonderful comments about Satoru Iwata. So in short, when Thirds make themselves look hilariously incompetent and they get mocked for it, I am as happy as a pig in mud because it gives me and my fellow Pietriots on our Discord server something to mock and discuss. Continue reading ““Durp!”: Cliffy B – “Switch doesn’t have enough buttons!””

Short-Sighted Ignorance

A fellow user by the name of Travis Touchdown on VG Facts recently brought to my attention and others this fan comic.

Stay classy, Samus.

Besides the not-so-obvious fact this is a Metroid comic strip, that is Samus with a punchline that makes absolutely no sense, but the comment she makes Samus say at the end is actually hilarious, in a “god you are a dumb ass.”

The two images (which the artist redrew in their own style) of Zelda from Breath Of The Wild are somehow evidence Zelda is somehow another crying princess that has to be rescued. I don’t know how many of our readers have played through Breath Of The Wild yet, so major spoiler warnings after this paragraph, because I have to break down why this webcomic author is a fucking moron. Continue reading “Short-Sighted Ignorance”

It’s Bad when Nintendo of America uses memes.

Oh no.

Obviously, Nintendo of America is being over-wrought by SJW leftist hippies as they love, love, and love the use of these obnoxious memes.

Clearly the best people to side with in denouncing Nintendo of America’s over-use of memes is… the Sonic the Hedgehog Twitter feed! Which also uses cringe-worthy memes based around it’s embarrassing status as a series. We should also side with Capcom because they clearly know how to localize their own game without the use of dank memes! I mean, it’s not like gamers made memes against Nintendo’s will, especially in regards to Star Fox in general. Oh hey, they also made some based on Splato– oh fuck burn it with fire.

Memes are triggering to these special snowflakes. Who also use meme images in their tweets angrily yelling at them.

Depressing Realities Surrounding Developer Closures

Around late 2011, Pietriots member Deguello did a written piece on people wanting Nintendo to go third party and why such a thing would do more harm than good. Even today, it still speaks volumes because lately everyone is pinning Nintendo as doomed because the WiiU isn’t selling X amount of units. The same thing happened with 3DS. While I can easily point out the issue (IE Third Parties making excuses…again, people not being early adopters), developers and their publishers seem to be under this boggling mind-set that Nintendo is not worth it and the Next-Gen systems Xbox One and PS4 will be better suited for them. Continue reading “Depressing Realities Surrounding Developer Closures”

WiiU is Failing, but it isn’t Nintendo’s fault

Good lord, I’m having déjà vu yet again! Three months into the life of the WiiU, we’re already seeing the cycle repeat itself as it did with the 3DS; sales start to stall, and third parties are no where to be seen. According to the NDP, WiiU versions of games are selling worse then the Vita! (…Vita still counts?) Nintendo didn’t do enough to advertise the WiiU and court third parties! WiiU is now doomed!

Nintendo isn’t to blame for this current mess. Continue reading “WiiU is Failing, but it isn’t Nintendo’s fault”

In Today’s News, UbiSoft just screwed over Rayman Legends

In case you haven’t heard the news yet, all that free advertising Nintendo gave to Rayman Legends turned out to be absolutely worthless on Nintendo’s part: Rayman Legends is no longer a WiiU exclusive and it’s being put multiplatform, and as such it making gaming journalists, analysts and haters hard in the pants. The reasons given are batshit stupid but what is even more insane is the fact that the game, which is pretty much finished, has been delayed by six months and is now forced to compete with Grand Theft Auto V. Continue reading “In Today’s News, UbiSoft just screwed over Rayman Legends”

Nintendo Creates the Ultimate Last-Gen Controller

… Using their old stuff.

Also comes in white

3rd Parties bitched and demanded Nintendo provide traditional input crap so they can focus on difficult PS3 ports, and thus Nintendo delivered. Now’s the time you’re supposed to whine about Nintendo copying Nintendo, and how they’re not trying anything new.

I was into the Humble Bundle before it was cool

These disgusting, overgrown animal rapists only deserve our scorn, contempt and to be publicly shamed as what they are; a bunch of filthy, degenerate, socially inept beastillity practitioners. They are even worse than redditors.

As a leading trendsetter and self proclaimed hipster, I support independent artists in all fields before they sellout and become mainstream. The indie Humble Bundle is no different. Of course, a true connoisseur of gaming like myself bought the very first bundle which included the sublime World of Goo. I already owned World of Goo but it deserved more of my money. Now Humble Bundle V is out with a star studded lineup including Amnesia: The Dark Descent, the bigger budget version of Penumbra: Overture from the original bundle. In just ten hours they’ve already surpassed the money raised in the original bundle. This increasing popularity has a dark edge though, and I eluded to it the last time I promoted a Humble Bundle on this site.

Finally all the usual faggots are using it as an opportunity to promote their twitter accounts by donating obscene amounts. Must be nice to be Notch. Pietriots cannot afford such extravagance.
– Me, telling it like it is.

Continue reading “I was into the Humble Bundle before it was cool”

Achievements / Trophies are not harmless

Here’s a video of an optional mini-game in 3D Dot Game Heroes; beating it under 60 seconds is required if you want to get the Platinum medal for the game.


The video isn’t important, but take a gander at the comments underneath it! Quite a lot of people are upset.

Continue reading “Achievements / Trophies are not harmless”