In Today’s News, UbiSoft just screwed over Rayman Legends

In case you haven’t heard the news yet, all that free advertising Nintendo gave to Rayman Legends turned out to be absolutely worthless on Nintendo’s part: Rayman Legends is no longer a WiiU exclusive and it’s being put multiplatform, and as such it making gaming journalists, analysts and haters hard in the pants. The reasons given are batshit stupid but what is even more insane is the fact that the game, which is pretty much finished, has been delayed by six months and is now forced to compete with Grand Theft Auto V. Continue reading “In Today’s News, UbiSoft just screwed over Rayman Legends”

Hey U – Give Me Real Controls

The Wii Remote & Nunchuk was last generation’s innovation in violence – still strong today, still better than the competition. This was the method of controlling the last true console Resident Evil experience the world would know: The Umbrella Chronicles.

For the previous console cycle, there’s a seldom-stated lesson Capcom briefly learned (see RE4:Wii) then immediately forgot (see their “HD” games): if you’re pretending to KILL in a video game, do it properly. It’s just a shame we don’t have to pretend anymore: modern games, such as Capcom’s premiere action series, have gotten so smart that they play themselves (step aside Super Guide). The games don’t hesitate to handle much of the excitement on their own, and work hard to convince us that quick-button-context-flashback-retrospection-cutscene was an artistic achievement (“Best QTE of 2012,” is there such a thing?). Opponents of violent gaming love to point out how video games “teach kids how to kill”, but I know that’s rubbish cuz most games suck at that, especially as more games suck at being games. It’s supposed to be like watching a movie, right? Why not an effing GAME? Thru these last couple generations of analog masturbation, popular shooters have more or less surpassed “REALISTIC EVERYTHING” – nevermind the gameplay. And in a (not really) fun twist, “more realism” cheerfully graduated to “more Hollywood”; new gameplay became movies that look like gameplay. “Wow, it’s like playing a game,” – thanks, my confidence in the new generation is at an all-time high.

Before proceeding, I want to be clear that the major ideas in the blocks of text below don’t necessarily apply to every genre or gameplay mechanic. Many of our favorites are derived from things like tennis, team sports, board games, gambling, mazes, vehicles, boxing puppets, and Donkey Kong – there’s no reason to mess with certain core elements. However, TANGIBLE VIRTUAL VIOLENCE has a raw, engrossing quality that the majority of the Industry has not been interested in embracing for some time; fluid human movements seek the spillage of human fluid, yet they insist gamers don’t like movement and just seek Mountain Dew. Trapped in the game industry’s electronic erection contest, the prestigious computing “arms race”, we continue enduring their fake war: fake gameplay and fake value. Cash and companies continue to perish in the high-priced struggle to show violence; rarely do we see genuine imagination towards playing violence. It doesn’t have to be this way; we can still search for decency. Aim off-screen and raise your real arms to rediscover what’s in front of you: the gameplay in your hands.

/wii joke

Continue reading “Hey U – Give Me Real Controls”

Musings on Female Characters, Or Why Is The Western Game Character Menagerie Such A Sausage Party?

It wouldn’t be unfair to say that Metroid: Other M got a mixed reception, tilted heavy in favor of it being a good game. Which is to say, that people can agree that the game is solidly built, a great throwback to the 2D games, and stylistically presented. In fact the only real “weakness” noted by reviewers and angry internet users alike is the story, and more particularly, its depiction of Samus as “sexist.”

The reason I put “sexist” in quotes is not because I deny sexism exists, but because I heavily question the source of the accusations’ sincerity.  Most of the comments center on the developing studio, Team Ninja, the director from Nintendo, Yoshio Sakamoto, and their country of origin, Japan for being “misogynist” when it came to designing Samus and the storyline of the game. Whether it’s sexist or not is up for debate, but why the inclusion of Japan as a factor?

Continue reading “Musings on Female Characters, Or Why Is The Western Game Character Menagerie Such A Sausage Party?”

The Continuous 3DS Wall Project

In the spirit of our previous efforts to showcase the horrible atrocities committed to the Wii by third-party developers, we at Pietriots are proud to announce our new 3DS Wall.

The 3rd Party Wall of Shame was an analysis of wrongs committed after the fact.  This wall is intended to be a display of the building libraries of every developer for the 3DS, along with aggregated critical scores of each title individually and together as a group.

The original wall was made in response to unscrupulous claims from a few third parties that complained that their games were not selling on the Wii, despite their “obvious quality,” and that people were buying Nintendo’s games instead. The 3rd Party Wall of Shame showed those claims to be totally unfounded, as said third parties published some of the worst titles in their histories.  The question was asked, “Who deserves to sell more?”  The responses were silence and sudden anger at the creators of the Wall.

This is an ongoing project, which I will attempt to keep up with weekly or bi-weekly, depending on holidays or work.  And sometimes just mood.

Continue reading “The Continuous 3DS Wall Project”