Nintendo’s Miightiest heroes have finally assembled, ready for assymetric action.
Share your dong on Mario Krat TV.
At the EB Expo this year I was lucky enough to drive a race of Mario Kart 8. By lucky, I mean I shot my arm up in the air at the speed of light and almost lost it in the rafters. The Nintendo area had a screen on stage for a number of different game events, including Just Dance and Mario Kart 7. Mario Kart 8 was a special game they only pulled out every few hours, and I was very grateful for my chance to play it.
Here’s the setup with two random dudes playing, one Wii U GamePad and one Wiimote. Unfortunately when I got up, the other kid (my opponent) wanted to use the GamePad so I let him and took the Wii Remote, because kids always come first. I’d used motion steering in my many hours of Mario Kart Wii so this was no hurdle for me. Let the race begin!
Gran Turismo 6 is out later this year, and it’ll arrive a full 3 years after Gran Turismo 5. I am excited about playing the game with the new physics revamp, but can’t help but feel flat about the lack of new tracks to drive on. Polyphony are making a big deal about having 5 new tracks in the game. Yes five. Why does it take them so long? Because they scan the track and gather shitloads of data making sure it’s an accurate representation. Admirable attention to detail, but in my opinion it’s seriously holding back the gameplay experience.
While Americans have been updating their Wii U’s and drawing dicks in Nintendo Land, I’ve been playing GrooveRider, the best slot car game ever made. Browsing the Playstation Store I noticed this PS2 classic for $8 with an average user review of 4.5 stars. Could a slot car game really be that good? Sure, why not? I downloaded it immediately without even consulting the internet, because that’s the kind of risk worth taking.
Which actually never happened…
After New Super Mario Bros. 2, gaming journalists complained Nintendo was releasing too many Mario games (and then they beg for more 3D ones afterwards), and is now a yearly franchise with hardly any difference and therefore sucks. This thought process further solidifies the fact gaming journalists are retarded, but why whine about something (because I r a game journalist too hur hur hur) when I can present hard evidence? Continue reading “One Hundred Mario Games In This Generation!”
This final Expo writeup features all the games that weren’t good enough for their own page. That’s right, GET EXCITED!
He read our Mario Kart 7 guide.
Formula 1 has arrived in full 3D glory on 3DS, and it’s every bit as fast and impressive as I hoped! The physics are good, sense of speed fantastic, and the game is not plagued by bugs like the latest console versions. Unfortunately, there’s some bigger fundamental problems that make it a hard game to spend time with.
A few years ago, Joy Ride Kinect was released as an example of how a racing game could benefit from Kinect controls. The game was a broken mess, to the point where you could win races without even moving. The developers have finally admitted this was a bad idea, and they’ve re-released the game with new “precision controls” (exact words used in the PR) using the normal Xbox 360 control pad. Joy Ride is finally playable in the form of Joy Ride Turbo, but what’s it like? Was there a nice personality hidden behind that awful piece of technology?
It’s been far too long since the last “Durp!,” hasn’t it? Truth be told, I’ve been trying to ignore the stupid things developers have been saying just to save me the trouble of writing up about it. But as you can clearly see, this segment is back from the dead. As my luck would have it, two beautifully, absurdly, and nearly-impossible quotes were dropped on my groin at nearly the same time. So what could be SO bad that it ripped me off my lazy rump and into SUPER RANT MODE?
Oh ho ho, just take a look inside and see…
The pride, the glory, the honor. Which games will take home the top awards, and which ones will end up on the floor with a sore butt? Is there a difference?
Did you mean Drift Mania? No, it’s really Driift. Driift Mania is a 2D top down racer on WiiWare with responsive controls, twitchy handling, and very addictive gameplay. It’s easy to pick up and play: hold the Wii Remote sideways and just hold 2 to go, 1 to reverse, and press left and right to steer; no motion control or powerups.
So I’ve done the basic run through of 150cc and played some online matches. I think I’m prepared to talk about Mario Kart 7. This isn’t a review because I hate reviews and any Mario Kart 7 review that doesn’t read: “it’s Mario Kart“, is a waste of time. I am going to file this under reviews though because, you know, convention. Instead this is an analysis of changes made to the Mario Kart formula in this, the seventh entry to the series. It’ll be posted here and over at Koopa Beach.
First up, I am really disappointed that the game doesn’t feature some of the more extensive time trial options that Mario Kart Wii included. By that I’m talking about being able to download regional and worldwide ghosts and examine the top ten rankings. This was a real source of motivation to improve in Mario Kart Wii and I’m proud to say I made the top ten in Australia for Cheep Cheep Beach and Vanilla Lake. That came from seeing that my times were close to the top times and having amazing ghosts to compete against in the form of wifi friends and housemates. The other great thing it did was tell stories. If you followed the world record times closely you’d see new shortcuts and techniques for tracks open up. It was incredible and I was hoping to dedicate a significant amount of words on Koopa Beach to just that aspect of the game as it went through early development stages. As it stands though, that commentary will now probably come from the elite players who I expect will be hanging around at the established time trial communities. That link I just made though is dead at time of writing. And any stories that do come will only be fragments strewn across message board posts. It looks like history may be lost.
We revisit the suspenseful, exciting past quarter of the gaming industry, as witnessed by U.S. President Barack Obama.