Mario Kart 8 – One Race (DETAILED IMPRESSIONS)

At the EB Expo this year I was lucky enough to drive a race of Mario Kart 8. By lucky, I mean I shot my arm up in the air at the speed of light and almost lost it in the rafters. The Nintendo area had a screen on stage for a number of different game events, including Just Dance and Mario Kart 7. Mario Kart 8 was a special game they only pulled out every few hours, and I was very grateful for my chance to play it.

mariokart8ebexpo

Here’s the setup with two random dudes playing, one Wii U GamePad and one Wiimote. Unfortunately when I got up, the other kid (my opponent) wanted to use the GamePad so I let him and took the Wii Remote, because kids always come first. I’d used motion steering in my many hours of Mario Kart Wii so this was no hurdle for me. Let the race begin!

Continue reading “Mario Kart 8 – One Race (DETAILED IMPRESSIONS)”

Realism – How much is it worth?

Gran Turismo 6 is out later this year, and it’ll arrive a full 3 years after Gran Turismo 5. I am excited about playing the game with the new physics revamp, but can’t help but feel flat about the lack of new tracks to drive on. Polyphony are making a big deal about having 5 new tracks in the game. Yes five. Why does it take them so long? Because they scan the track and gather shitloads of data making sure it’s an accurate representation. Admirable attention to detail, but in my opinion it’s seriously holding back the gameplay experience.

dulltrack

Continue reading “Realism – How much is it worth?”

GrooveRider – Extreme Slot Car Racing

While Americans have been updating their Wii U’s and drawing dicks in Nintendo Land, I’ve been playing GrooveRider, the best slot car game ever made. Browsing the Playstation Store I noticed this PS2 classic for $8 with an average user review of 4.5 stars. Could a slot car game really be that good? Sure, why not? I downloaded it immediately without even consulting the internet, because that’s the kind of risk worth taking.


Continue reading “GrooveRider – Extreme Slot Car Racing”

One Hundred Mario Games In This Generation!

Which actually never happened…

After New Super Mario Bros. 2, gaming journalists complained Nintendo was releasing too many Mario games (and then they beg for more 3D ones afterwards), and is now a yearly franchise with hardly any difference and therefore sucks. This thought process further solidifies the fact gaming journalists are retarded, but why whine about something (because I r a game journalist too hur hur hur) when I can present hard evidence? Continue reading “One Hundred Mario Games In This Generation!”

EB Expo – The Back Page

This final Expo writeup features all the games that weren’t good enough for their own page. That’s right, GET EXCITED!

Continue reading “EB Expo – The Back Page”

F1 2011 (3DS) – Wildly Unplayable

Formula 1 has arrived in full 3D glory on 3DS, and it’s every bit as fast and impressive as I hoped! The physics are good, sense of speed fantastic, and the game is not plagued by bugs like the latest console versions. Unfortunately, there’s some bigger fundamental problems that make it a hard game to spend time with.

Continue reading “F1 2011 (3DS) – Wildly Unplayable”

Joy Ride Turbo – Now With Buttons!

A few years ago, Joy Ride Kinect was released as an example of how a racing game could benefit from Kinect controls. The game was a broken mess, to the point where you could win races without even moving. The developers have finally admitted this was a bad idea, and they’ve re-released the game with new “precision controls” (exact words used in the PR) using the normal Xbox 360 control pad. Joy Ride is finally playable in the form of Joy Ride Turbo, but what’s it like? Was there a nice personality hidden behind that awful piece of technology?


Continue reading “Joy Ride Turbo – Now With Buttons!”

“Durp!” – SCE 2-for-1 Special

It’s been far too long since the last “Durp!,” hasn’t it?  Truth be told, I’ve been trying to ignore the stupid things developers have been saying just to save me the trouble of writing up about it.  But as you can clearly see, this segment is back from the dead.  As my luck would have it, two beautifully, absurdly, and nearly-impossible quotes were dropped on my groin at nearly the same time.  So what could be SO bad that it ripped me off my lazy rump and into SUPER RANT MODE?

Oh ho ho, just take a look inside and see…

Continue reading ““Durp!” – SCE 2-for-1 Special”

Game of the Year Awards – 2011

The pride, the glory, the honor. Which games will take home the top awards, and which ones will end up on the floor with a sore butt? Is there a difference?

Continue reading “Game of the Year Awards – 2011”