It is with great ecstasy that I announce the Limited Collector’s Edition of Doctor Lautrec and the Forgotten Knights, arriving to the Nintendo Three D. S. (Discouraging Sales) in proper English. This rare package is decorated with a portrait of myself, as the official spokesmodel of the franchise, executing the role of the dangerously handsome Dr. Jean-Pierre Lautrec.
Included in my collector’s box are a free brochure on future “DLC” and an enhanced stylus (modeled after mine*) designed for increased responsiveness and sensation when you touch me. Fresh, engaging puzzles will keep me in the toilette even longer than imaginable.
Regretfully, the European PS Vita release of Doctor Lautrec has been postponed to 2012, complementing a promising Vita launch line-up unlike the embarrassment of the Nintendo Three D. S.
Thinking of Uncharted Vita… how it gives me an erection. Touching myself in the front and back cannot wait, ho ho ho!
Konami statement: Doctor Lautrec game sold separately.