Update: Nintendo Direct cancelled due to US Government shutdown.
Our inside source at Nintendo said that with the release dates for Yoshi’s Crafted World and Kirby’s Extra Epic Yarn being announced via press release today, the Nintendo Direct initially planned for the 11th of January has been shelved indefinitely.
Nintendo had previously delayed their direct presentations after natural disasters ravaged Japan. According to our insider, the most recently delay was due to fears the US President might institute autocratic rule, distracting customers from Nintendo’s message. Since the White House address was a bit of a fizzer, the direct may still go live next week.
Continue reading “Nintendo Direct DeConfirmed (updated)”
A Pokémon fan simply known as “_Dog” had been shopping this essay around various forums after it was censored from Serebii. I have purchased its publishing rights off my incense and salt importer to reproduce it here with additional attribution to the people quoted. It has been backdated it to its original publication date. May it stand as a testament to what can happen to the adult mind from watching too many Japanese cartoons aimed at children.
My first foray into Pokémon was back in 1998, when I got the Game Boy Camera that summer (might’ve been my birthday, can’t really remember). I had a ton of fun with that little thing—the games, the DJ, the photos, among other things. What was particularly cool was being able to place silly stamps on the photos. There were eyes, mouths, accessories, various Mario characters, and some creatures that my older brother referred to as generic “dinosaurs” or “monsters”, can’t exactly remember which word he said. But I used them on my photos anyway, cause why not. Little did I know that wasn’t going to be the last time I saw those critters, oh no. Continue reading “The Big Problem with the Pokémon Anime”
I had a windfall from my stocks in tobacco early this year and with a spare £15 I thought ‘why not invest in some Facebook advertising for that little gaming blog I own?’ Of course, I had to be diligent to not waste my spend. A cursuary glance at Pietriots reveals most of the content to be nostalgic yearning for children’s games of yonder and no amount of advertising could possibly generate any interest from stakeholders in reading these articles. Months passed, when young Bill Aurion wrote a topical and timely piece about The Legend of Zelda on the eve of the Electronic Entertainment Expo, this would be a perfect opportunity to promote content people may wish to read.
I now present the analytics of the Facebook advertising, with my insightful commentary revealing the truth about the audience of The Legend of Zelda. Continue reading “Facebook advertising offers insights into the Zelda audience”
I have returned from my expedition to northern India, discovering new ingredients for tea and biscuits. Along the way, I stumbled across a fellow archaeologist and a young Chinese boy in search of “sacred stones,” but I firmly refused their invitation and explained they were “not my type.”
Continue reading “Growth and Expansion”
It is with great ecstasy that I announce the Limited Collector’s Edition of Doctor Lautrec and the Forgotten Knights, arriving to the Nintendo Three D. S. (Discouraging Sales) in proper English. This rare package is decorated with a portrait of myself, as the official spokesmodel of the franchise, executing the role of the dangerously handsome Dr. Jean-Pierre Lautrec.
Continue reading “Doctor Lautrec Collector’s Edition Announced”