Xbox Reveal! Last Minute Bets

Today’s the day, Microsoft is about to reveal a BIG SECRET to the world; they’re releasing a new game console! SSSHHH! What could it be? With pre-launch hype potentially being more entertaining than the actual event, we put in a few quick guesses.


Grubdog: It’ll have a shooter and a racer, and a shooter / racer hybrid. EA will reveal a big exclusive. Microsoft will make a big deal about Forza looking better than Gran Turismo 6 because it’s on PS3. Alan Wake 2 will be shown in the form of a logo on the screen for 5 seconds.

Infernal Monkey: Microsoft will start the event with footage of Rare’s previous games like Banjo Kazooie, Conker and Battletoads. It’ll end with Killer Instinct, and a question mark. The team at Rare is then invited on stage with a round of applause. But that’s it. They just awkwardly stand there for the entire presentation. Not a single new Rare game is announced.

Microsoft’s big new shooter for the new Xbox will be Mad Dog McCree 3: Smelly Crotch Factory. The system will require a monthly subscription, upon which a set of keys is mailed to you to gain access to the machine’s power button. Should you unsubscribe, the keys instantly self-destruct.

All pre-owned games automatically default to Minesweeper.

Matto: Well my prediction is–(our apologies, Matto was cut short by a RRoD. We sadly won’t be seeing a prediction from him at this time)

RABicle: I don’t really know what to expect tomorrow outside of everything we already know about the Xbox although I am hoping Steve Ballmer has a heart attack on stage. If anyone has the ability to kick out of a heart attack, it’s Ballmer. I’m now going to defer to the expert bookmakers, so I’d like to introduce our new sponsor, Tom Waterhouse.

Tom WaterhouseHi Pietriots! With 6 bets of generations in my Waterhouse, I’ll appear in anything. So here’s the odds we’re offering at for celebrity appearances. Double your payout if you guess which song they’ll lip-sync.

Pharrell Williams $1.80
Adam Levine $2.20
Sia $3.00
Usher $3.40
(Andrew Johns, if you’re reading, it’s off)
Taylor Swift $4.00
Jay-Z $4.00
Florence Welch $4.30
Justin Bieber $5.50
Kimbra $7.00
Susan Boyle $9.90
Tom Waterhouse $11
At least 2 kids from One Direction $11
Ringo Starr $11
John Cena $22
Mick Jagger $61
Madonna $61
Lewis Hamilton $61
Franki Valli $91
Freddie Mercury $151
Amy Whinehouse $151
All other celebs $91


Forza 5 $1.50
Halo 5 $2.00
Destiny $2.00
New Shooter $3.00
New Shooter Day 1 Patch $3.50
Forza DLC $3.50
Just Dance 5 $5.00
Kinect Sports $5.00
Alan Wake 2 $8.00
Project Gotham Racing 5 $11
New Racer $11
Mad Dog McCree 3: Smelly Crotch Factory $11
Nike Fitness $11
Dead Or Alive 6 $11
Forza Gamestop Pre-Order DLC $15
Forza Target Pre-Order DLC $15
Kinectimals 2 $21
Sesame Street Fighter $21
Mass Effect Trilogy SmartGlass Edition $21
Ninja Gaiden 3: Razor’s Edge $21
Blinx Bash Party $51
Final Fantasy XIV demo $51


Xbox 720 $1.75
Xbox Infinite $1.75
Xbox $1.90
Xbox Durango $5.00
Xbox 8 $5.00
Xbox Revolution $8.00
neXtBox $11
Xbox Always Online $11
Nintendo Xbox $281

And remember, bet responsibly.

2 thoughts on “Xbox Reveal! Last Minute Bets

  1. I predict that the system’s games will look exactly the same as the 360s games and the gaming media will call it the greatest gaming system that ever existed.


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