Charles, here.
I have returned from my expedition to northern India, discovering new ingredients for tea and biscuits. Along the way, I stumbled across a fellow archaeologist and a young Chinese boy in search of “sacred stones,” but I firmly refused their invitation and explained they were “not my type.”
No doubt, you’ve already peeked into the Community pavilion since last holiday season – but that was ages ago, allowing the mold and crust to set in as the lonely Three D.S. minority have already abandoned it. This is an OFFICIAL reminder that excessive stroking of your 3D jollies will not be tolerated. My solicitation to the rest of you: join me on your PS Vita so we can Touch My Katamari in the Uncharted regions of my pants. I shall await in the toilette with open arms and busy hands.
A new documentary, Extra Videos, has also been added to take you behind the scenes of my worldly adventures. The footage, both graphic and honest, will give you deeper insight into the hearts of men. Walk with me; ride with me; experience my toilette as if it was your own.
-Charles, UK
Pietriots 