“Durp!”: Cliffy B – “Switch doesn’t have enough buttons!”

What was originally a series done by fellow Pietriot Bill Aurion now has my filthy hands all over it. Filthy Canadian hands, no less.

So let’s get one thing out of the way first; my respect for major Third Party Publishers, and their developers, who I will call out of disrespect “Thirds” is at an all-time low. I called it back in October last year that Switch’s Third support would be mired by bullshit, and lo’ and behold, it turned out I was right. In recent weeks, we’ve had some dip from THQ Nordic complain about Switch’s lack of power, despite, you know, games like Snake Pass being ported in under a couple of weeks. Then we had the creator of the Oddworld series spout these wonderful comments about Satoru Iwata. So in short, when Thirds make themselves look hilariously incompetent and they get mocked for it, I am as happy as a pig in mud because it gives me and my fellow Pietriots on our Discord server something to mock and discuss. Continue reading ““Durp!”: Cliffy B – “Switch doesn’t have enough buttons!””

An interview with the creator of Puzzle & Dragons Z

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Ahead of its enhanced 3DS launch next week, Japanese site GAME.Watch recently held an interview with Daisuke Yamamoto, producer of the moderately successful mobile title Puzzle & Dragons. Described by leading shampoo scientists as an ineffective cure for dandruff, the free-to-play iOS/Android release has become the highest grossing app of all time, earning roughly 35 cents for developer GungHo Entertainment.

Puzzle & Dragons Z for the 3DS looks to expand upon the game’s addictive hybrid of match-three puzzle/RPG gameplay with a greater focus on its story mode. There’s also some new and exclusive monster designs for Pixiv fanart-fuel. Plus, the fact that it’s now a full price (¥ 4,400) packaged release results in less intrusive in-app purchases. Players can now access the title screen without having to pay off an additional home loan, for example.

Below is a faithful English translation of the interview. Continue reading “An interview with the creator of Puzzle & Dragons Z”

“Durp!” – Pachter: “Two + Two = SEVEN!”

Oh boy, here we go again.  Only our favorite videogame analyst in the world, Michael Pachter, could be obnoxious enough to drag me out of hiding.  And it’s a three-fer, so enjoy a triple helping of Pachterd Sandwich…

Continue reading ““Durp!” – Pachter: “Two + Two = SEVEN!””

“Durp!” – SCE 2-for-1 Special

It’s been far too long since the last “Durp!,” hasn’t it?  Truth be told, I’ve been trying to ignore the stupid things developers have been saying just to save me the trouble of writing up about it.  But as you can clearly see, this segment is back from the dead.  As my luck would have it, two beautifully, absurdly, and nearly-impossible quotes were dropped on my groin at nearly the same time.  So what could be SO bad that it ripped me off my lazy rump and into SUPER RANT MODE?

Oh ho ho, just take a look inside and see…

Continue reading ““Durp!” – SCE 2-for-1 Special”

“Durp!” – David Cage: “I think I know what interactive entertainment is!”

There were so many stupid comments made recently that I really got overwhelmed and couldn’t do any of them.  Oh, and I blame that flop 3DS system thing.  Anyway, back to work!

Our latest “Durp!” comes from the mouth of David Cage, known for that Heavy Rain game that is a disgrace to the ADV genre.

“Look at Call Of Duty. How many copies does it sell every year? I’m fine with that. It’s cool. I’m just saying that I’m not happy with an industry that is entirely limited to experiences where all you are doing is shooting. That’s my problem. There is much more we can do with interactivity than just killing people.”

“Hey, what’s wrong with that quote?  He’s defending videogames!”

Oh, yes, he’s defending videogames, but let’s look at one line in particular…

Continue reading ““Durp!” – David Cage: “I think I know what interactive entertainment is!””

“Durp!” – David Jaffe: [Insert not-so-classy comparison here]

Hello, and welcome to another edition of “Durp!”  This time we cover our favorite developer (to make fun of), David Jaffe.  With the NGP announced, surely he’s had time to come up with some sort of riveting, yet orthodox, opinion on the “Next Generation Portable” (that happens to just do things that current systems already do, but worse), right?  No.  No he has not.

So let’s make this a little game.  Can you guess what David Jaffe compared the NGP to?  CAN YOU POSSIBLY GUESS?

Continue reading ““Durp!” – David Jaffe: [Insert not-so-classy comparison here]”

“Durp!” – Capcom: “Durrr, no one plays handhelds anymore!”

Welcome to “Durp!”, a feature based around what there is far too much of: members of the gaming industry making completely and utterly retarded and/or unsubstantiated comments that make those with even the most minute amount of common sense or respect for gaming cringe in disgust.

And we’re going to start this with an absolute doozy from Capcom Interactive’s (a subsidiary of Capcom U.S.A. that produces mobile games) president and COO, Midori Yuasa…

Continue reading ““Durp!” – Capcom: “Durrr, no one plays handhelds anymore!””

“Durp!” – “Epic Games”? Try EPIC FAIL

Epic Games’ CEO Mark Rein has been long known to have some unfathomable grudge against Nintendo for reasons unknown, most likely due to reasons surrounding Nintendo not buying their god-awful Unreal Engine license.  Late last year, Mark made a rather amusing comment when asked about Nintendo’s 3DS.

“It’s below our [minimum specifications], from what we can tell.  We don’t have a 3DS, so there’s no way for us to verify that.  Everything we’ve been led to believe is that it’s below our min-spec. You couldn’t do a game that looks like [Epic Citadel] on it, for example.”

It’s pretty amazing that Mark Rein, someone who has no technical knowledge whatsoever, has the ability to tell what they can and cannot do with the system without actually playing around with it.  Surely he must have some sort of basis behind this statement, right?

Continue reading ““Durp!” – “Epic Games”? Try EPIC FAIL”