Ladies and gentlemen, I have or had a problem. I kept thinking to myself, “What game should I review for Pietriots since I want to be my unprofessional self rather then an in-depth reviewer?” Well SEGA decided to give me an answer in the form of an extremely fun Saturn classic given an HD re-release… actually, scratch that; an extremely fun Saturn classic given what was originally a PS2 make-over, never released outside of Japan for almost six years but then deciding since they have no money left to fund anything just upscale the damn game. Continue reading “NiGHTS into dreams HD: Simple game, stupid analog mess up, short review”
Author: Matto
One Hundred Mario Games In This Generation!
Which actually never happened…
After New Super Mario Bros. 2, gaming journalists complained Nintendo was releasing too many Mario games (and then they beg for more 3D ones afterwards), and is now a yearly franchise with hardly any difference and therefore sucks. This thought process further solidifies the fact gaming journalists are retarded, but why whine about something (because I r a game journalist too hur hur hur) when I can present hard evidence? Continue reading “One Hundred Mario Games In This Generation!”
I’m embarrassed to be a gamer now.
It has been quite a wonderful couple of days.
Not only did Nintendo have its WiiU conference in North America and two Nintendo Directs for Japan and one for Europe, but this is quite possibly the BEST console preview I’ve seen from them in years. There was no gaming media bias, no shoddy camcorder work, it was you, Iwata and your computer screen. Nintendo Directs is Nintendo’s own personal way of delivering news, and I couldn’t love it more. Continue reading “I’m embarrassed to be a gamer now.”
Hideki Kamiya is Cool. You are not.
Now who is this cool looking bald guy smiling? Why this is Hideki Kamiya, a game director at Platinum Games. He’s directing Project P-100 for Nintendo and it looks super swell, one of my most anticipated WiiU games. Continue reading “Hideki Kamiya is Cool. You are not.”
Iwata Asks: Michael Pachter – The Lost Interview
A few months ago, expert internet hackers discovered a “lost” Iwata Asks interview between Nintendo president Satoru Iwata and gaming industry analyst Michael Pachter. After braving multiple contract loopholes, shark tanks and Jim Sterling’s rolls of fat, I’ve managed to get a hold of this insightful interview. Enjoy!
IWATA: Today I will be interviewing Michael Pachter, a professional gaming guesser.
PACHTER: Actually Iwata-san, the correct term is “analyst”.
IWATA: Oh, is that what they call people like you? I didn’t know that was actually a thing.
PACHTER: Right…
IWATA: Please tell me about your job, Pachter. I would really like to know how you come up with 2 + 2 = 7. Last I remember, it equals four. (laughs)
PACHTER: My job is to analyze and make predictions for companies who require my advice.
IWATA: That must be some high-end advice, did the cost of your guesses cause them to lay off employees and go out of business?
PACHTER: No.
IWATA: Are you sure? I think they deserve a refund since you seem to always be wrong about us.
PACHTER: That isn’t true.
IWATA: (laughs) Are you predicting you are right in that reply? (laughs)
PACHTER: You should make a system that I can grasp the concept of, it will sell well out of the gate.
IWATA: Our apologies you can’t understand a controller concept or basic math, Pachter-san. (laughs) By the by, how did those predictions of Vita taking away 3DS’ marketshare going?
PACHTER: [silence]
IWATA: Just recently, you said our fanbase sucks and they only buy Nintendo games?
PACHTER: Yes, that is correct.
IWATA: Can’t really blame them, we do actually beta test our games properly (laughs). So, how many internet hits did you get this time?
PACHTER: I don’t know what you mean…
IWATA: Did our Wii marketshare catch you off guard? Oh wait, yes it did. You ‘predicted’ the PS3 would take it easily.
PACHTER: [silence]
IWATA: Don’t worry Pachter-san, we still respect you as a one-man comedy routine.
Gaming Journalism should be better, but…
My good pal EarthViper on the Nintemple forums posted this lovely little piece of GAMING JOURNALISM in my 3DS XL thread, and it was… interesting. Read it then come back, alright? I’ll wait for you.
…
Came back? Good. So what exactly is the problem?
3DS XL – Get Over It
Despite the fact that the 3DS XL is fixing the flaws that plagued the original 3DS (screen size, battery life, ergonomic feel), Nintendo’s ‘fans’ are still upset because it’s not the revision they wanted, despite the fact they already have this revision, quite possibly since 2005/2006. So what is all this whiny shitfest all about?
Pietriots 