Short-Sighted Ignorance

A fellow user by the name of Travis Touchdown on VG Facts recently brought to my attention and others this fan comic.

Stay classy, Samus.

Besides the not-so-obvious fact this is a Metroid comic strip, that is Samus with a punchline that makes absolutely no sense, but the comment she makes Samus say at the end is actually hilarious, in a “god you are a dumb ass.”

The two images (which the artist redrew in their own style) of Zelda from Breath Of The Wild are somehow evidence Zelda is somehow another crying princess that has to be rescued. I don’t know how many of our readers have played through Breath Of The Wild yet, so major spoiler warnings after this paragraph, because I have to break down why this webcomic author is a fucking moron. Continue reading “Short-Sighted Ignorance”

Matto Talks Games – The MGS2 Effect

I like talking about video games, but I also like talking about hilarious and/or stupid bullshit that you sometimes don’t think is important, but actually is. Today, I am putting on my gaming historian glasses to talk in-depth about an aspect of video games we sometimes think is always a good thing, and it is! Most of the time. Great sale figures!

Pretend you are a game developer and a game publisher. Yes, both. We’re not counting self-publishing such as indie titles, because most of my examples I will present in this piece are major video game releases. Say you are a game developer who spent two-plus years working ungodly man hours and your publisher gave you millions upon millions of dollars to make a video game. You can either succeed massively, mildly or just fail. Such is the way of this gaming industry. But hey, if you made a great game and it sells very well? Good for you! You not only received tons of praise, you could probably make any game you want for the same budget, sequel or original game! Continue reading “Matto Talks Games – The MGS2 Effect”

Switch Impressions – Matto Edition

I figured Grubdog can’t have all the fun with talking about first impressions of the Nintendo Switch, but while he has fancy pictures he took himself, my impressions are going to be picture-less.

Unlike Grub, my local EB Games did not have a midnight launch. It did open at 8:30 a.m. local time, and there was a long line up people who were going to buy it and in the mix were those who pre-ordered it, which included myself. In short, it took me an hour to get into the store because they were only letting five people in at a time, and some people came in groups where only one person in said group was going to get the Switch. Sucks having to wait, equally sucks seeing people trade in great WiiU games. Continue reading “Switch Impressions – Matto Edition”

The Switch is Steep Priced For Amazing Tech, Folks

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It also says something when I couldn’t even find a solid price on a Gamestop site for the PS VR Headset. On Amazon’s American site, new ones go for over $500 American.

I just don’t know anymore.

(Images captured from CBC News website and EB Games Canada.)

Matto’s Favorite Switch Presentation Moments

Right, so. Nintendo had it’s big Switch reveal, and most of the Pietriots, myself included, were there to watch it. So while everyone is busy trying to downplay the positive reception to the reveal (ie selfish YouTubers, Game Jounalists, and those scared of motion controls still), I decided to list some of my favorite moments from the reveal. Let’s get going, shall we?
Continue reading “Matto’s Favorite Switch Presentation Moments”

Matto’s Mario Madness [Part 1 – Super Mario Bros.]

It’s time for another Durpthrough, but this time it is something I wanted to do for a long time. I like Mario games, enough to do in-depth reviews of them years ago, so I thought to myself “hey, why don’t you do video playthroughs of them?”

Granted, it isn’t the most original idea on the planet, almost everyone has done a video playthrough of every damn mainline Mario title. My idea isn’t original, but hey, at least I am not e-begging for Nintendo advertising money. So, without further ado, here is the Super Mario All-Stars version of Super Mario Bros., the Mario game that started it all and celebrated it’s 30th anniversary last year. Continue reading “Matto’s Mario Madness [Part 1 – Super Mario Bros.]”

Incompatible With Game Journalists: A Star Fox Zero Review

Ladies and gentlemen, according to the internet at large I have a problem of Nintardism Type 3. I am suppose to be in the loud minority that Star Fox Zero is a terrible game and Miyamoto should be fired over it. Yes, Star Fox Zero is supposedly a blight on Nintendo’s record of quality games.

Having played Star Fox Zero constantly since said release, here is my response to that.

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Star Fox Zero managed to innovate the way an on-rail and dog-fighting shooter should be, and also proves to be an amazing follow-up/reimagining of Star Fox 64. With EAD’s expertise in making a solid gameplay experience to Platinum Games’ amazing visual flair, this is without a doubt one of the best single player experiences on WiiU. Even with some (un)obvious flaws.

Continue reading “Incompatible With Game Journalists: A Star Fox Zero Review”

It’s Bad when Nintendo of America uses memes.

Oh no.

Obviously, Nintendo of America is being over-wrought by SJW leftist hippies as they love, love, and love the use of these obnoxious memes.

Clearly the best people to side with in denouncing Nintendo of America’s over-use of memes is… the Sonic the Hedgehog Twitter feed! Which also uses cringe-worthy memes based around it’s embarrassing status as a series. We should also side with Capcom because they clearly know how to localize their own game without the use of dank memes! I mean, it’s not like gamers made memes against Nintendo’s will, especially in regards to Star Fox in general. Oh hey, they also made some based on Splato– oh fuck burn it with fire.

Memes are triggering to these special snowflakes. Who also use meme images in their tweets angrily yelling at them.