In only a couple of days Splatoon 2 will be out and I will be playing it immensely, because what I played of the recent Splatfest was awesome. However, with that said, Nintendo released the Nintendo Switch Online phone app and everyone on the internet is having a meltdown over it being terrible and shitmonglers like Liam “Tamaki” Robertson are taking advantage of the situation by concern trolling with… a picture of a DS with a Nintendo Wi-Fi Connection game because there was voice chat on that, sort of, and it sucked.
What was originally a series done by fellow Pietriot Bill Aurion now has my filthy hands all over it. Filthy Canadian hands, no less.
So let’s get one thing out of the way first; my respect for major Third Party Publishers, and their developers, who I will call out of disrespect “Thirds” is at an all-time low. I called it back in October last year that Switch’s Third support would be mired by bullshit, and lo’ and behold, it turned out I was right. In recent weeks, we’ve had some dip from THQ Nordic complain about Switch’s lack of power, despite, you know, games like Snake Pass being ported in under a couple of weeks. Then we had the creator of the Oddworld series spout these wonderful comments about Satoru Iwata. So in short, when Thirds make themselves look hilariously incompetent and they get mocked for it, I am as happy as a pig in mud because it gives me and my fellow Pietriots on our Discord server something to mock and discuss. Continue reading ““Durp!”: Cliffy B – “Switch doesn’t have enough buttons!””
E3 is next month, so how about Uncle Matto treats you to E3 predictions I pulled out my ass?
No? Well shit. Continue reading “Stupid E3 Predictions”
A fellow user by the name of Travis Touchdown on VG Facts recently brought to my attention and others this fan comic.
Besides the not-so-obvious fact this is a Metroid comic strip, that is Samus with a punchline that makes absolutely no sense, but the comment she makes Samus say at the end is actually hilarious, in a “god you are a dumb ass.”
The two images (which the artist redrew in their own style) of Zelda from Breath Of The Wild are somehow evidence Zelda is somehow another crying princess that has to be rescued. I don’t know how many of our readers have played through Breath Of The Wild yet, so major spoiler warnings after this paragraph, because I have to break down why this webcomic author is a fucking moron. Continue reading “Short-Sighted Ignorance”
I like talking about video games, but I also like talking about hilarious and/or stupid bullshit that you sometimes don’t think is important, but actually is. Today, I am putting on my gaming historian glasses to talk in-depth about an aspect of video games we sometimes think is always a good thing, and it is! Most of the time. Great sale figures!
Pretend you are a game developer and a game publisher. Yes, both. We’re not counting self-publishing such as indie titles, because most of my examples I will present in this piece are major video game releases. Say you are a game developer who spent two-plus years working ungodly man hours and your publisher gave you millions upon millions of dollars to make a video game. You can either succeed massively, mildly or just fail. Such is the way of this gaming industry. But hey, if you made a great game and it sells very well? Good for you! You not only received tons of praise, you could probably make any game you want for the same budget, sequel or original game! Continue reading “The MGS2 Effect”
I figured Grubdog can’t have all the fun with talking about first impressions of the Nintendo Switch, but while he has fancy pictures he took himself, my impressions are going to be picture-less.
Unlike Grub, my local EB Games did not have a midnight launch. It did open at 8:30 a.m. local time, and there was a long line up people who were going to buy it and in the mix were those who pre-ordered it, which included myself. In short, it took me an hour to get into the store because they were only letting five people in at a time, and some people came in groups where only one person in said group was going to get the Switch. Sucks having to wait, equally sucks seeing people trade in great WiiU games. Continue reading “Switch Impressions – Matto Edition”
It also says something when I couldn’t even find a solid price on a Gamestop site for the PS VR Headset. On Amazon’s American site, new ones go for over $500 American.
I just don’t know anymore.
(Images captured from CBC News website and EB Games Canada.)
Right, so. Nintendo had it’s big Switch reveal, and most of the Pietriots, myself included, were there to watch it. So while everyone is busy trying to downplay the positive reception to the reveal (ie selfish YouTubers, Game Jounalists, and those scared of motion controls still), I decided to list some of my favorite moments from the reveal. Let’s get going, shall we?
Continue reading “Matto’s Favorite Switch Presentation Moments”
It’s time for another Durpthrough, but this time it is something I wanted to do for a long time. I like Mario games, enough to do in-depth reviews of them years ago, so I thought to myself “hey, why don’t you do video playthroughs of them?”
Granted, it isn’t the most original idea on the planet, almost everyone has done a video playthrough of every damn mainline Mario title. My idea isn’t original, but hey, at least I am not e-begging for Nintendo advertising money. So, without further ado, here is the Super Mario All-Stars version of Super Mario Bros., the Mario game that started it all and celebrated it’s 30th anniversary last year. Continue reading “Matto’s Mario Madness [Part 1 – Super Mario Bros.]”
While it has only been several days since Nintendo officially unveiled the NX as the Switch, and likewise revealed a list of development partners, as seen below…
Ladies and gentlemen, according to the internet at large I have a problem of Nintardism Type 3. I am suppose to be in the loud minority that Star Fox Zero is a terrible game and Miyamoto should be fired over it. Yes, Star Fox Zero is supposedly a blight on Nintendo’s record of quality games.
Having played Star Fox Zero constantly since said release, here is my response to that.
Star Fox Zero managed to innovate the way an on-rail and dog-fighting shooter should be, and also proves to be an amazing follow-up/reimagining of Star Fox 64. With EAD’s expertise in making a solid gameplay experience to Platinum Games’ amazing visual flair, this is without a doubt one of the best single player experiences on WiiU. Even with some (un)obvious flaws.
Great Commander is a giant asshole.