So you’re mad about Bakugan on Switch…

So it was awesome seeing live gameplay of Paper Mario: The Origami King for Switch, but before the stream Nintendo announced Wayforward was going to show something off that was third party related. Speculation, of course, followed, we even had our guesses it came from a third party like Konami. Except, eh, it was Bakugan.

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Funny enough, this meme image is based on a classic Simpson episode and somebody actually made a fan game of the golf game Bart actually got.

So what comes is the obvious “let’s blame Nintendo for this because it is their fault!” when you could, you know, think about the following: Continue reading “So you’re mad about Bakugan on Switch…”

“Nintendo Insiders” Are Idiots and You Need To Stop Paying Attention To Them

Well, something interesting just got revealed from an ex-Retro Studios concept artist. Here is what they are. I’d say the art looks good, but the concept wasn’t good enough for Nintendo to put down money. This of course leads to concern trolling Nintendo insiders being what I call “Cancel Grievers”, meaning they concern troll Nintendo’s operations of it’s developers because of could’ve been projects that we hardly knew anything about. Continue reading ““Nintendo Insiders” Are Idiots and You Need To Stop Paying Attention To Them”

When whining achieves nothing.

First, view this tweet so you have context. Turns out WordPress wouldn’t put the Tweet in a image for three paragraphs worth of me being a smarmy shit. Whoops.

Yes, it has actually been that long since Nintendo introduced the SNES app to Switch Online members. With the announcement came an update; updating wouldn’t be normal again. It is now December, and one has to wonder where the updates went. That’s easy; the updates stopped because Nintendo probably got sick of the whining on YouTube and Twitter. Continue reading “When whining achieves nothing.”

Matto’s YouTube Recommendations

Wait a second, I like shit on YouTube? I sure do! Here are some of my recommendations.

FailArmy

Let’s face facts: you and I love it when stupid people do stupid things on home video and the outcome is painful and hilarious. It is why American’s Funniest Home Videos has still managed to stay on television for almost thirty years, but AFV as people like to call it has faced major competition thanks to the internet, and one of those competitors is FailArmy.

FailArmy is basically AFV on YouTube without a host telling crappy jokes over footage. Need further proof this is basically what it is? Go on YouTube and watch old episodes of AFV when Bob Sagat was still the host. Continue reading “Matto’s YouTube Recommendations”

The golden rule for First/Third Person Shooters on Switch: make Gyro-aiming an option

When Doom 2016 made it’s way to Nintendo Switch curtiosy of the amazing folks at Panic Button, many took notice of it’s quality work. However, there was one major function mission from the base game: no gyro aiming. Gyro-scopic aiming slowly got a base in thanks to the 3DS and WiiU GamePad, and when Nintendo revealed the Switch proper in January 2017 and said, specifically, it contains DNA from all of Nintendo’s past consoles and handhelds, they weren’t kidding. Both left and right Joy-Con, and the Pro Control, have gyro sensors inside them. Continue reading “The golden rule for First/Third Person Shooters on Switch: make Gyro-aiming an option”

Just need to do it one more time!

Oh no, I’m not quitting Pietriots, absolutely not. Instead I am calling it quits on ranting and mocking Third Party publishers in their Switch support nearly two years on for being ass-backwards, and to those who still think Nintendo is still to blame for this. I am not going to bother linking previous times I’ve done this on this site because I think the point has been driven so deep it’s become almost parody and borderline predictable. Continue reading “Just need to do it one more time!”

Matto’s Favorite Sesame Street Moments

Carol Spinney, the original voice and puppeteer behind Big Bird since Sesame Street first aired back in 1969, retired recently, so everyone was talking about Big Bird’s best moments. Sure, nobody can argue the emotional impact that was “I’ll Miss You, Mr. Hooper” (if you don’t cry at this, you are not a human being), but in all honesty, even growing up and out of watching something like Sesame Street, I have to state a controversial opinion… I never really liked Big Bird, ever. Even when I loyally watched the show as a little kid, I didn’t like Big Bird. Continue reading “Matto’s Favorite Sesame Street Moments”

No, Game Critics and YouTube Critics, StarLink isn’t the best Star Fox game

To think otherwise makes you an idiot, because StarLink is not even remotely close to a Star Fox game in style. The game, from what I’ve seen in trailers and footage, is closer to No Man’s Sky in execution. It is not a Star Fox game, and if you are crowing it should be, then you need to shut the hell up.

This is a real Star Fox game.

Continue reading “No, Game Critics and YouTube Critics, StarLink isn’t the best Star Fox game”

The Switch Online NES App is Amazing and Has Tons of Potential for Nintendo Classics

I know most of you have said this:

“I’m not paying $20 a year for online NES games!”

Well, first, whatever. I’m sorry your precious on-system voice chat isn’t there (and quite frankly those features were things I never liked in the first place, thanks experience on 360 Live!), or the fact you are now bitching about Cloud Saving despite that being a thing you wanted. I bought Switch Online membership for the year, and so too did Deguello. Why? Continue reading “The Switch Online NES App is Amazing and Has Tons of Potential for Nintendo Classics”

Sorry Switch owners, we don’t matter to Capcom (and most third parties)

To most major Third Parties anyway, except for Bethesda, we/I think you are cool especially considering you put gyro aiming in Doom Switch, which I appreciate. Anyway, why state the painfully obvious besides trying not to make this site not look dead? It’s because it’s extremely aggravating to watch, least of all Capcom deciding that Resident Evil 7 can come to Switch, except with a catch.

A very, very big catch. It needs to be cloud streamed all the damn time. One must ask what is even the point; it’s like Capcom is trying their hardest not to make their Switch games a success from not including Ultra Street Fighter V in the the Switch version of Street Fighter Anniversary Collection, undershipping and sitting on Monster Hunter Double Cross (sorry, I am not calling it by it’s localized name because I prefer that one better) for a year and releasing it when Switch Online shows up in September. Continue reading “Sorry Switch owners, we don’t matter to Capcom (and most third parties)”

You are asking the wrong questions.

The recent delay of Dark Souls Remastered for Switch has prompted the usual ResetERA concern trolling questions to come out. My personal favorite being (thanks to Deguello sharing it in our Discord):

So I’m not sure what’s going on. Is Nintendo’s 3rd Party relations guy just focusing on indies? Is Nintendo not trying hard enough or do 3rd party publishers not care? Phil Spencer Fils-Aime should go to Japan.

Here’s a hint to the answer guys and gals reading this post: I posted the answer is bold. There is your answer. That is the reason why and has always been the reason. I am not going to waste most of my writing effort to get in depth as to why Nintendo has always had a shitty third party problem, because frankly I cannot muster enough of a shit to their continued existence and rather laugh at the real misery of Third Parties while Nintendo continues to get over-analyzed like shit despite having great success with Switch. Continue reading “You are asking the wrong questions.”

Why I am excited for Metroid: Samus Returns

Depending on the circumstances, I am fine with being wrong. Can’t always be right about things, but much to my shock it turns out Nintendo had two new Metroid games in the works. One, which is coming out soon (September 15th!), is a full reimagining of the Game Boy title Metroid 2 for the 3DS. Metroid Prime 4 for Switch is still to be determined, but I guess the terrible Metroid fanbase* did not deter them after all.

*Fact: I still hate the Metroid fandom and think they are a blight on the series.

So with it’s impending release, I thought it would be best to talk about why I am excited for this new Metroid game. Continue reading “Why I am excited for Metroid: Samus Returns”