Wii U Wii Mode Audio-Video Mishaps

It’s a good thing the big April Wuu update isn’t out yet, giving me a chance to complain about stuff while it’s valid.  Let’s briefly revisit some of Wuu’s non-features, or why I didn’t fall for that “trap”: never performed that permanent “system transfer” of my Wii data as soon as I got my Wuu. As with any dangerous entertainment content migration of this sort, I had to find out: does Wuu’s “Wii Mode” retain all the features the Wii did?

cooldude-A

Continue reading “Wii U Wii Mode Audio-Video Mishaps”

Hey U – Give Me Real Controls

The Wii Remote & Nunchuk was last generation’s innovation in violence – still strong today, still better than the competition. This was the method of controlling the last true console Resident Evil experience the world would know: The Umbrella Chronicles.

For the previous console cycle, there’s a seldom-stated lesson Capcom briefly learned (see RE4:Wii) then immediately forgot (see their “HD” games): if you’re pretending to KILL in a video game, do it properly. It’s just a shame we don’t have to pretend anymore: modern games, such as Capcom’s premiere action series, have gotten so smart that they play themselves (step aside Super Guide). The games don’t hesitate to handle much of the excitement on their own, and work hard to convince us that quick-button-context-flashback-retrospection-cutscene was an artistic achievement (“Best QTE of 2012,” is there such a thing?). Opponents of violent gaming love to point out how video games “teach kids how to kill”, but I know that’s rubbish cuz most games suck at that, especially as more games suck at being games. It’s supposed to be like watching a movie, right? Why not an effing GAME? Thru these last couple generations of analog masturbation, popular shooters have more or less surpassed “REALISTIC EVERYTHING” – nevermind the gameplay. And in a (not really) fun twist, “more realism” cheerfully graduated to “more Hollywood”; new gameplay became movies that look like gameplay. “Wow, it’s like playing a game,” – thanks, my confidence in the new generation is at an all-time high.

Before proceeding, I want to be clear that the major ideas in the blocks of text below don’t necessarily apply to every genre or gameplay mechanic. Many of our favorites are derived from things like tennis, team sports, board games, gambling, mazes, vehicles, boxing puppets, and Donkey Kong – there’s no reason to mess with certain core elements. However, TANGIBLE VIRTUAL VIOLENCE has a raw, engrossing quality that the majority of the Industry has not been interested in embracing for some time; fluid human movements seek the spillage of human fluid, yet they insist gamers don’t like movement and just seek Mountain Dew. Trapped in the game industry’s electronic erection contest, the prestigious computing “arms race”, we continue enduring their fake war: fake gameplay and fake value. Cash and companies continue to perish in the high-priced struggle to show violence; rarely do we see genuine imagination towards playing violence. It doesn’t have to be this way; we can still search for decency. Aim off-screen and raise your real arms to rediscover what’s in front of you: the gameplay in your hands.

/wii joke

Continue reading “Hey U – Give Me Real Controls”

Nintendo E3 2011 Press Conference Premonition

People will call me a hippy when I say this but I’ve always felt a resonance with Nintendo consoles. They speak to me through channels I can’t describe. This isn’t some delusional fanboy shit – this is real hippy waves of energy that you just gotta feel, man. When Project Dolphin was announced I was living on a tropical island in the Pacific; when Project Revolution was announced I was a political activist; and for the past year or so I’ve worked as a barista.
Project Café.

Today I was working and thinking a lot about E3 and how it was going to change my life and give me new meaning and direction, man. I looked down at the latte I was making and there I saw it: everything I needed to know about Project Cafe. I was just like Agent Morgan from Deadly Premonition, ciphering messages from the milk and coffee. I stared at it in a trance and it all came to me. This is how it will take place at E3…

Agent Morgan
F.K in the coffee. it never fails.

Continue reading “Nintendo E3 2011 Press Conference Premonition”

Stolen from tomorrow’s headlines

Managed to get my hands on tomorrow’s newspaper before it went to print. Interesting front page headline! I’ve had to reduce the size here to fit it in our site’s narrow table but you can click the thumbnail to enlarge it if you can’t read it clearly!

WiiHD

Just a real quick update to say that I heard that Nintendo’s new plumbing simulator, tentatively titled WiiHD, will have 17 cores in it’s gigaflops. The same noise making device that told me that also mentioned it would get a new Mario Kart game.

Move over, Nintendo

In a “Move” that highlighted their innovative and interactive approach to gaming, Sony mysteriously dropped two tons of bananas in the city of Sydney on Thursday. It was done to promote their brand new Move motion controller in a stroke of marketing genius. Sony reps were around the whole day giving away bananas, encouraging people to Move and burn off the extra energy. A concept almost as inspired as Move itself. Sony had a PS3 system set up in the heart of Circular Quay on a huge screen, playing their smash hit game Heavy Rain, which launched this year and is now compatable with the Move device. People were taking turns playing all day, it’s so simple, you don’t even need to press buttons anymore. Everyone was getting involved, all you need to do is move your hands to play. Onlookers were “Moved” by the games emotional  storyline and deep messages, emphasising how much Move connects players to the game.

Continue reading “Move over, Nintendo”