“Durp!”: Cliffy B – “Switch doesn’t have enough buttons!”

What was originally a series done by fellow Pietriot Bill Aurion now has my filthy hands all over it. Filthy Canadian hands, no less.

So let’s get one thing out of the way first; my respect for major Third Party Publishers, and their developers, who I will call out of disrespect “Thirds” is at an all-time low. I called it back in October last year that Switch’s Third support would be mired by bullshit, and lo’ and behold, it turned out I was right. In recent weeks, we’ve had some dip from THQ Nordic complain about Switch’s lack of power, despite, you know, games like Snake Pass being ported in under a couple of weeks. Then we had the creator of the Oddworld series spout these wonderful comments about Satoru Iwata. So in short, when Thirds make themselves look hilariously incompetent and they get mocked for it, I am as happy as a pig in mud because it gives me and my fellow Pietriots on our Discord server something to mock and discuss. Continue reading ““Durp!”: Cliffy B – “Switch doesn’t have enough buttons!””

Completing the Pokédex: Manaphy

The other week I achieved something I hadn’t since I was 12 years old; I completed the Pokédex, I caught them all. Technically though, it wasn’t them all. It was only the 301 available in the latest game. Nintendo long ago realised the insanity of capturing now 802 Pokémon and dropped “Gotta Catch ‘Em All” from the branding, providing smaller, region specific Pokédexs in the game. The importance of the complete Pokédex, or National Pokédex as it is known, has been downplayed too, a post-game unlockable in recent generations and not appearing at all in Pokémon Sun and Moon. Completing the Alola regional Pokédex didn’t provide the satisfaction I thought it would, and the in game reward, a stamp in my in-game passport, was as hollow as the certificate of completion I received 18 years ago. I have decided that I will not be fulfilled until I really have caught them all. All 802 bastards, including the worst thing in Pokémon, “event” Pokémon, so yesterday I dug out my Pokémon games from the last 4 generations to figure out how to get Manaphy, the seafaring Pokémon. Continue reading “Completing the Pokédex: Manaphy”

The MGS2 Effect

I like talking about video games, but I also like talking about hilarious and/or stupid bullshit that you sometimes don’t think is important, but actually is. Today, I am putting on my gaming historian glasses to talk in-depth about an aspect of video games we sometimes think is always a good thing, and it is! Most of the time. Great sale figures!

Pretend you are a game developer and a game publisher. Yes, both. We’re not counting self-publishing such as indie titles, because most of my examples I will present in this piece are major video game releases. Say you are a game developer who spent two-plus years working ungodly man hours and your publisher gave you millions upon millions of dollars to make a video game. You can either succeed massively, mildly or just fail. Such is the way of this gaming industry. But hey, if you made a great game and it sells very well? Good for you! You not only received tons of praise, you could probably make any game you want for the same budget, sequel or original game! Continue reading “The MGS2 Effect”

My trip to Nodens Enterprises

A few days ago I received a package from a mysterious company named Nodens Enterprises. It addressed me as Grubdog so I knew it had to be gaming related, but how did they know my address? Inside was an interesting art book with characters and locations, but no writing or context. Looked cool, but I was confused. I’d never heard of this game and I didn’t order anything like it. I dug through the package and found a letter.

Continue reading “My trip to Nodens Enterprises”

Thank You Japan – Keeping Splatoon Fresh!

We are nearing the end of an era as the Switch draws near with Splatoon 2 in hand. All the squids are growing up. Yet still here I am, playing Splatoon on Wii U and enjoying it like it’s the first day of release. This game changed my life in such a positive way. I absolutely love the gameplay and the community. It’s fiercely competitive in the highest tiers of Ranked, but also very friendly and welcoming in the plaza and Turf Wars. This little writeup is for a special part of the community I haven’t talked about in my previous Splatfest writeups, the Japanese gamers.

splatlobby Continue reading “Thank You Japan – Keeping Splatoon Fresh!”

Dragon Quest VIII: EXPOSED – The Grinding Method They Don’t Want You To Know About

Sick of grinding for hours just to grow one single level? Worried about not being able to afford all the hottest gear? Tired of being under-prepared in fights and losing out to bad luck? Feel like you’ve hit a wall?

dq8gettingnowhere

We’ve all been there. Confused, lost, helpless, like a child drowning in a river. It seems like progress is impossible in a world of dead-ends and closed doors. Trapped in the daily grind forever.

dq8dragondead

If this is you, then I’m about to change your life.

*SPOILERS AHEAD* This trick is ONLY for those privy to Dragon Quest VIII late-game information. Open the door at your own risk! *SPOILERS AHEAD*

Continue reading “Dragon Quest VIII: EXPOSED – The Grinding Method They Don’t Want You To Know About”

Twilight Princess HD – I’m a Hero Now

tpregret

A lot has changed in a decade. Suddenly I’m holding a baby and the world is mirrored. I must be getting old too, because my movement feels sluggish. It takes me longer to stop, and I can’t even walk and aim at the same time. It’s like my legs lock into place, I can’t move anywhere until I pull the camera back. I feel sorry for whoever has to stare at my butt while crawling.

Continue reading “Twilight Princess HD – I’m a Hero Now”

Nintendo Dollars – Where Are They Going?

Amidst all the Zelda cheering and Joy-Con rumbling, Nintendo slipped a less exciting piece of news into their Switch event. There will now be a yearly fee if you want to play games online, a new service for Nintendo. It’s a tough pill to swallow for a userbase used to playing online for free. Now that we’ve all gotten over the kneejerk response and loosened our grip on our wallets a bit, I thought I’d bring up some discussion about this new structure.

Continue reading “Nintendo Dollars – Where Are They Going?”

Dragon Quest VIII – Journey of the Cursed Selfie

dq8selfiewithyangusG’day! I’m here with my pal Yangus at The Weary Wanderer, just ‘avin a brew and a laugh. We shared stories of the past and had a great time reminiscing. He’s got a real captivating way of telling a story with that strong accent of his. Really knows how to pound down the bevvies too, we were off our faces and had to stay the night. Luckily they had beds for us, we handed 4 gold coins to the nice man and fumbled our way upstairs.

Continue reading “Dragon Quest VIII – Journey of the Cursed Selfie”

Dragon Quest VII – Post-Game Party Time

What a videogame. After completing the 100 hour story of Dragon Quest VII I felt a huge sense of pride and satisfaction. Without spoiling what happened, the ending was epic, interesting, and a highly suitable way to end such a game. It was an outstanding journey I will never forget, and one of the greatest RPGs of all time. The story has a very large scope yet every town and little moment feels special. It’s so rewarding to solve people’s problems, with some of the best writing I’ve ever enjoyed in a videogame.

However, even after hours and hours of dialogue and traveling, one thing was still stirring in my mind. After beating the end boss and completing the story I was still only level 44. Out of a potential 99 levels this felt a bit low and I still felt like I had unfinished business. I knew there was still more to explore with the Monster Meadows mechanic, tablets, and more fragments to collect. I enjoyed the game so much, I immediately went back into it to see what else I could do. I won’t bother with a spoiler warning here, because you should know what you’re getting into if you read further. It’s EVERYTHING! It’s the post-game!

Continue reading “Dragon Quest VII – Post-Game Party Time”

Yoshi’s Unused Woolly World – Fluffy Daydreams

poochy

What’s that, Poochy? *sniff sniff* Wow! It’s a treasure trove of brand new music! Composer of Yoshi’s Woolly World, Tomoya Tomita, has uploaded some songs to his Youtube account. Included in this playlist are 6 original compositions for Yoshi’s Woolly World that were not included in the final game. It really makes you think, Poochy. What could these songs have been made for? What if there were brand new levels to accompany them, and we never got to see them? Could they still be hiding, somewhere in Woolly World? Let’s use our imaginations and go through the unused tracks one by one!

Continue reading “Yoshi’s Unused Woolly World – Fluffy Daydreams”

Animal Crossing: New Leaf – Finding Fang

fangsorrowI’m so sorry Fang. It’s been 3 years since we’ve had a proper conversation. I missed you so much. I missed everybody, and I’ve been a terrible Mayor. Everyone was so worried while I was blissfully and ignorantly playing other games. Upon returning to my town I was met with a lot of different emotions, and a strong realisation. This town deserves better.

Continue reading “Animal Crossing: New Leaf – Finding Fang”