“Durp!” – Capcom: “Durrr, no one plays handhelds anymore!”

Welcome to “Durp!”, a feature based around what there is far too much of: members of the gaming industry making completely and utterly retarded and/or unsubstantiated comments that make those with even the most minute amount of common sense or respect for gaming cringe in disgust.

And we’re going to start this with an absolute doozy from Capcom Interactive’s (a subsidiary of Capcom U.S.A. that produces mobile games) president and COO, Midori Yuasa…

“The casual gamer that used to play on the PC and the hardcore gamer that used to play on a dedicated gaming portable now plays on their smartphone.”

The first part of this I will forgive, mainly because casual gamers fall into the trap of paying for the same crap they can play for free on their computers because of cheap $1 prices and the convenience factor of being unproductive on the go.

However, “hardcore gamers” are leaving their “dedicated gaming portables” to play this tripe?  Playing in concordance with their dedicated gaming portable I can understand, because it’s easier to get away with playing games on a phone at work than it is on your DS or PSP.  REPLACING THEM with their smartphone games?  No.  No they are not.  Unless you are completely negating the existence of the Nintendo DS and are only counting the Nokia N-Gage and Atari Lynx, this is a complete and utter lie.

We’re talking about the Nintendo DS, which sold an additional 6 million systems last year (even after having the 3DS announced in June), and has sold more than 47 million units in the U.S. since its launch.  If there are any “hardcore gamers” that exclusively play handheld games on their smartphones, they just never had a DS or PSP to begin with.  But even then, I question just how “hardcore” such gamers actually are if they don’t own a DS, which has one of the most (if not most) substantial and quality libraries in gaming history (Haha, Pro).

Oh, but it gets better!

“A freemium business model can be extremely effective as illustrated by the success of Smurfs’ Village. However, the key is that the game has to be designed from day one as a freemium title(…)If you try and shoehorn in an alternate revenue model into an existing design, you end up with a muddled experience that users either ignore or hammer with user reviews.”

Smurfs’ Village is one of these “freemium” (ugh, these new slang terms) games that Capcom Interactive released last November for the iPhone.  It’s free to download!  FREE!  Until you want to actually do anything, then you have to spend money.  How much money?  In-game items range from £2.99 to £59.99.

Yes, £59.99. That’s just about 100 U.S. dollars. ONE.  HUNDRED.  DOLLARS.

Would you spend 100 dollars for this?

Amazing.  Capcom is blatantly saying here, “We think gamers are dumb as rocks, and we are going to take them for every penny we can trick them into spending.” It’s absolutely disgusting, but now it’s clear why developers are so keen on iPhone.  If this is the future of gaming, and “gamers,” casual or hardcore, really are this stupid and support this, you can count me the fuck out.


4 thoughts on ““Durp!” – Capcom: “Durrr, no one plays handhelds anymore!”

  1. Bill is angry!

    The only mobile phone platform that is a serious contender for games is the iPhone. But Apple is too stubborn about things like non-touch controls and Flash to take over the handheld market. iPhone became a gaming platform in spite of Apple, not because of them.


  2. This is the same company that thought they would sell over a million copies of Bionic Command-OH-NO and Dark Noid.


  3. This reminds me of when that idiot at EA was “proud” of some guy spending $5000 on soccer game content. It’s a battle of deception, nobody wins.


  4. Tragically the only way to prove them wrong is to buy Street Fighter IV3D
    Oh well, back to Angry Birds!


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