This is the new world of Zelda…

It’s been two years since we got our first look at Zelda U, and now there’s less than two days until the hood is finally pulled off the secretive title.

We sadly will not see the game released in time for its 30th anniversary, with it being delayed to next year (likely to NX launch in March), but that does little to dampen the anticipation Zelda fans have for the title’s re-unveiling. Well, by fans I mean actual fans, not the ones that think Zelda should be more like Dark Souls, that Wind Waker’s art style is too kiddy, that the series requires voice-acting to be playable, or the numerous others with similarly unpleasant opinions.

So if you’re up for some speculation, let’s dive right in.

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Be very quiet, we’re huntin’ MONSTERS…

So with Capcom finally wising up and allowing Americans to play with Europeans/Australians, we can finally make Monster Hunter an official Pietriot co-op game.  Unfortunately the update for region-free online won’t be up until next month, but until then, Pro and I have been having a little fun on our own.  Enjoy our antics, and if you like what you see, get the game!

ZombiU, or is it really GhostU?

As we near the Wii U launch, we also near the launch of a surprisingly-original Ubisoft title in the form of ZombiU.  It’s a fresh take on the survival horror genre, and is more of a Resident Evil game than Resident Evil 6 is.

The gist of the story is that John Dee, head magician of Queen Elizabeth I’s court, made a prophecy of a disaster that would eventually come to pass as the zombie apocalypse presented within the game.  The player is not the main character of the story (the main characters are the NPCs you meet over the course of the game), but instead takes an interesting angle in that we step into the shoes of a random Joe on the streets of the plague-stricken city of London.  Once they die, it’s Game Over for Joe #1, and we move onto the life of Joe #2 (or Jane #1).  It’s a fairly straight-forward story, or at least what little of it we know of at this point in time…

But is that the whole story?

Are there ghosts lurking within the shadows of London?  Why are they there?  What purpose could they possibly serve in what was a seemingly straight-forward story of survival in a Z-Day situation?  27 days remain…

“Durp!” – Pachter: “Two + Two = SEVEN!”

Oh boy, here we go again.  Only our favorite videogame analyst in the world, Michael Pachter, could be obnoxious enough to drag me out of hiding.  And it’s a three-fer, so enjoy a triple helping of Pachterd Sandwich…

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“Durpthroughs” – Fatal Frame IV – Batch 4

After a long absence, I return with the next Durpthrough session of Fatal Frame IV!

Beware the narrow hallways that make fighting ghosts nearly impossible, the deathly fear of potential game-breaking bugs, the bewildering persistence of that nurse I can’t remember the name of, the REVENGENCE of Ayako as I storm her room for sheet music, the wheelchair lady who somehow pushes herself, and the terrifying black death thing that scares the living shit out of me!

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“Durpthroughs” – Fatal Frame IV – Batch 3

Ooooops, I’ve had these done for a while now, but I’ve been so busy I forgot to put them up.

In this round, Misaki battles a bully from her childhood and a new character surfaces to explore the medical wing of the creepy complex in search of the man responsible for the kidnappings.  The ghost encounter rate continues to increase as the setting gets spookier, so how long can I last!?  Enjoy!

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“Durpthroughs” – Fatal Frame IV – Batch 2

What do little boys, tag teams, creepy old men, nurses, and an old, abandoned hospital have in common?

Actually, don’t answer that.  The answer is, Batch 2 of my Fatal Frame IV Durpthrough!  The ghost encounters escalate as the plot sends me fighting an unexpected and familiar villain, puts me behind the eyes of yet another character, and teases a battle against a sadistic little girl!  Enjoy!

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“Durpthroughs” – Fatal Frame IV – House of Creepy Ghosties

Okay, here it is, a new round of Durpthroughs!  This time I take on another horror game, Fatal Frame IV, developed by none other than Grasshopper Manufacture (home of Suda 51, if you are one of those heathens).  Fatal Frame IV has a rather interesting history behind it, or rather, an interesting story of why it was never localized.  See, it WOULD have been localized if not for the fact that Tecmo was too cheap to go back and fix a bunch of glitches that were in the Japanese copy of the game (a couple of which prevent progress, and others that make it impossible to 100% the game no matter what you do).  NOE had actually started promoting the game in their region before NCL decided that it just didn’t make sense to localize a game that wasn’t to their standards.  So screw you, Tecmo!

Anyway, let’s hope I can pull through the entire game without running into anything game-breaking.  So grab yourself a bowl of popcorn, turn off all the lights, and enjoy the scares (or me shrieking like a schoolgirl, whichever fits your fancy)!

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“Durp!” – SCE 2-for-1 Special

It’s been far too long since the last “Durp!,” hasn’t it?  Truth be told, I’ve been trying to ignore the stupid things developers have been saying just to save me the trouble of writing up about it.  But as you can clearly see, this segment is back from the dead.  As my luck would have it, two beautifully, absurdly, and nearly-impossible quotes were dropped on my groin at nearly the same time.  So what could be SO bad that it ripped me off my lazy rump and into SUPER RANT MODE?

Oh ho ho, just take a look inside and see…

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“Durpthroughs” – Dead Island Co-op: BATCH 5 FINAL

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

I really wanted to do a special Halloween Durpthrough of a random horror game in my collection, giving you all an uncensored, uncut look into how much I freak out when I’m playing a REAL horror game.  Unfortunately, I currently sound like a frog being cranked through a meat grinder thanks to the horrible timing of a heinous mix of bronchitis and laryngitis.  So instead of something that might have been good, you get the final batch of Dead Island clips.

I completely skipped recording the prison section of the game right before the final boss because, well, I was sick of recording at the time, and didn’t realize we were so close to the end.  It’s not like you missed anything anyway.

So enjoy our last leg through the jungle, our bout with the ultimate worst final boss this generation, and finally the ridiculous closure (or lack thereof) of this miserable pile of pumpkin snot.  The horror…THE HORROR!

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“Durpthroughs” – Dead Island Co-op: Super Late Batch 4

These have been uploaded for quite a while, but I forgot to post them here on the site before I went on vacation.  Those of you who actually care probably already noticed them on PieTube, but here they are anyway.  The last batch should be up sometime in the next few days (the ending sucks, by the way, SURPRISE!), so until then enjoy the game-breaking glitches!

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