Resident Evil Resistance – Itchy. Tasty. Laggy.

“These f’**k noobs are gonna get us all killed.” – wiseguy69

That was the first thing I heard when I played Resident Evil Resistance. First week of its release, two of us were level 1 in our first game, someone was level 3, and this one person with voice chat was level 7. None of us had a clue what was going on, and this level 7 expert was constantly whining instead of helping. Needless to say, we all died and nobody enjoyed it. Welcome to Resident Evil Online.

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Resident Evil 3 – Nemesis Never Left

Some would argue this game shouldn’t have been remade, citing it as the “worst Resident Evil game”, but I think that is the perfect reason to remake it. It’s finally getting some justice! I’ve played Resident Evil 3 before and the unique thing about it to me, was always the environments and the perspective from an event happening to you while you’re in the middle of the city. Almost every other Resident Evil involves the main characters purposefully heading into a dangerous situation, but this one takes you by surprise. The city is being torn apart by chaos, and someone wants you dead. Yes YOU, specifically.

In this remake, the destruction and simultaneous beauty of Raccoon City is more evident than ever before, and that’s why I think it was worth remaking. It provides an absolutely stunning spectacle, with the best graphics imaginable with more control over the gameplay than ever.

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Resident Evil Revelations 2 – Vacation Isle

Barry Burton is back in all his low-budget glory, with more greys than ever. The identity of this game is subject to a bit of confusion, which makes it a great game to write about. What is it? Let’s backtrack to the original game first. Resident Evil Revelations started as a spinoff title on the 3DS, with the idea of making a traditional Resident Evil game on a handheld. It kept the 3D gameplay style of RE4 and RE5, and introduced a brand new story on a spooky cruise ship. It was very exciting at the time and an impressive accomplishment on a handheld. It was so successful they made a digital-only episodic sequel for home consoles. It’s a semi-sequel to Revelations that also ties into the main series. It started with just one episode, then they slowly added three more until it was finished. Now, after every episode of Revelations 2 has been released, it’s available as a full package on Nintendo Switch and finally feels like a normal game.

You wot m8? Innit Resident Evil or not?

Yes. It’s an awesome and legit Resident Evil game.

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Resident Evil 2 – Raccoon City Limits

Gotta get to the Police Station. There’s so many of these things… what the hell happened here? Bang!Bang bang bang! Damn these things are strong. I gotta be more careful. 4 bullets left? Dozens more of them. Can I do this? I gotta be fast but also not get grabbed. Phew that was close. One bullet in this one will slow it down, I can make the gap. I can make it. I’m gonna make it.

Welcome to Resident Evil 2 where killing every enemy is not always an option. This is survival horror gameplay at its best.

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Sorry Switch owners, we don’t matter to Capcom (and most third parties)

To most major Third Parties anyway, except for Bethesda, we/I think you are cool especially considering you put gyro aiming in Doom Switch, which I appreciate. Anyway, why state the painfully obvious besides trying not to make this site not look dead? It’s because it’s extremely aggravating to watch, least of all Capcom deciding that Resident Evil 7 can come to Switch, except with a catch.

A very, very big catch. It needs to be cloud streamed all the damn time. One must ask what is even the point; it’s like Capcom is trying their hardest not to make their Switch games a success from not including Ultra Street Fighter V in the the Switch version of Street Fighter Anniversary Collection, undershipping and sitting on Monster Hunter Double Cross (sorry, I am not calling it by it’s localized name because I prefer that one better) for a year and releasing it when Switch Online shows up in September. Continue reading “Sorry Switch owners, we don’t matter to Capcom (and most third parties)”

Resident Evil: The Mercenaries 3D – Anxiety On the Go

After getting back into Resident Evil 4 it was just silly that I hadn’t played Mercenaries 3D yet. This game takes the tried-and-true Mercenaries mode from Resident Evil 4, 5 and 6 and makes a full game out of it. Dropping the need for a single player campaign, it features dozens of missions that are designed to flesh out the gameplay with no context other than “training”.

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Resident Evil 4 – Wii on Wii U Edition

leonhunnigan

*tch* This is Leon. I’ve arrived on the Wii U through the Virtual Console, some kind of digital download service. They took a sample of my blood and uploaded it. I’ve also been injected with a virus, it seems to have changed my reflexes. I can see a green cursor wherever I aim my gun. It seems to be beneficial so far, but I’ll keep you posted on any adverse affects. Leon out. *tch*

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5 Easy Steps – How To Fix Resident Evil

I’ve just finished playing Resident Evil 6 and after some very bad first impressions, the full game turned out pretty decent. Leon’s campaign was extremely enjoyable and the game does a lot of things right as well as wrong. The game has some interesting scenarios, amazing bosses, great dialogue (by cheesy RE standards), and even good music. One thing I really love are the environments, they are unbelievable to walk around in. The streets of China have ridiculous detail as does almost every area in the game, and there’s some nice unique scenes to enjoy and bask in. I had a lot of joyous moments simply moving the camera around and looking at all the unnecessary detail in every corner. Furthermore the gameplay is extremely robust, and the controls are a good refinement of Resident Evil 4 and 5’s strengths. I think in terms of game mechanics, this is the best Resident Evil to date.

However the the more detail you have, the bigger the mess when it all falls apart, and the things the game does wrong are big enough to kill the mood. While the shooting mechanics are good, they are abused far too much. I simply don’t like shooting games. As a Resident Evil fan, I shouldn’t have to know how to play Battlefield. I’m tired of shooting and after Chris’s campaign I need a break from the sound of gunfire and explosions for a good month. The pacing is relentless and ridiculous, if you can even call it pacing. People troll the game a lot and it’s very easy to criticise, but the significant thing about all these bad changes to the series is they are simply design choices. Resident Evil 6 could have been AMAZING if somebody stepped in and said “this is a bad idea”. In this hypothetical article, I am that guy.

re6teatime

Capcom has invited me to their development offices to flip tea tables over, but I can only destroy 5 of them. These are the tables I would flip.

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Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate – Zinogre Is A Dick

MH3 U

I am now at the sixty hour mark in playing Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate, an upscaled version with extra WiiU bells and whistles. In hindsight, it looks like an upscaled game, but compared to the Wii version it plays a lot better thanks to the Game Pad. Yes, as someone who bitched out HD Collections in the first episode of Pie Radio, I actually have found an upscaled HD game I like. However, Monster Hunter 3 U is a game that requires dedication, patience and an urge to tackle fierce/douchebag monsters while at the same time harvesting materials to make stronger armor and weapons. Its not perfect, buts its incredibly addicting and easily one of the best WiiU multiplayer games on the system now (before Mario Kart 8 comes out). Continue reading “Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate – Zinogre Is A Dick”

Be very quiet, we’re huntin’ MONSTERS…

So with Capcom finally wising up and allowing Americans to play with Europeans/Australians, we can finally make Monster Hunter an official Pietriot co-op game.  Unfortunately the update for region-free online won’t be up until next month, but until then, Pro and I have been having a little fun on our own.  Enjoy our antics, and if you like what you see, get the game!

Spyborgs

If there’s one thing every video game could be improved with, it’s mayor Mike Haggar from Capcom’s very own Final Fight. Even the crappiest of games would become instant stunner deals (Streetwise never happened) with his inclusion. Just… pile-driving everything non-stop. For example, imagine Data Design re-releasing Billy the Wizard as Mike Haggar the Wizard. He’d spin that entire castle right into the Earth’s core, before beating up on some garbage bins to restore his stamina with filthy, discarded roast chicken.Sadly, Spyborgs has a distinct lack of Haggar, but it is at least in the same genre as Final Fight. Side-scrolling beat ’em ups are a rarity in this day and age; especially ones that actually make it to retail. This final product is actually nothing like Bionic Games’ original vision for the title. It was initially unveiled as a ‘comedy’ adventure inspired by early 90s cartoons and what looked to be rather large bags of steaming horse urine. Thanks to a huge amount of internet backlash, Spyborgs’development went into chaos and somehow mutated into this no-nonsense, bog-standard brawler.

There’s a story, but it’s not very important and rarely ever gets in the way (this is a good thing). Essentially, someone’s being a dickhead and it’s up to the remaining members of the ‘Spyborg Initiative’ to save the day. See, just how much cooler would that have been as the ‘Haggar Initiative’? You better believe there’d be chest hair everywhere. Alas, there are three characters here, each with their own strengths and weaknesses (urr hurr no way) – a quick but fairly weak ninja, a slow but insanely powerful robot, and some guy with a gun fused to his arm to impress the ladies. While Spyborgs is best played with a friend in co-op, each stage will always have two of the three playable characters in action during single player. The CPU does its best to help out as the second player, and you can freely switch between the two at any time.

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