Star Fox Guard – Miyamoto Defense

Star Fox Guard is that “other” game that came out with Star Fox Zero, by a small Indie developer known as Shigeru Miyamoto. Previously known as Project Guard, it’s one of Miyamoto’s original ideas for the Wii U re-purposed into the Star Fox universe. As it turns out, Slippy’s uncle Grippy has been collecting minerals in space and he’s run into some trouble. I thought we’d never get to play this game, but miraculously it’s been finished and polished quite heavily. I’ve been playing the game a lot the past month and having a lot of fun playing every main mission, beating people’s levels online, and making my own. It’s very different to Zero because the control scheme is much simpler, all you do is scan through the cameras and shoot. Outside switching cameras on the touch screen and aiming them, it literally has one button. Every single button on the GamePad is the shoot button (even the dpad directions will shoot), and you’re going to need it.

robotapproach

Continue reading “Star Fox Guard – Miyamoto Defense”

Star Fox Zero – You’re Improving, Fox!

It’s been a crazy few weeks. After my excited 5 hour impressions, I have 100% completed everything in Star Fox Zero. I have all 70 medals and have beaten all 19 paths in Arcade Mode. So has the excitement worn off? Fuck no. It has gotten better every time I’ve played, like I am ascending through the fighter pilot ranks. I’m now shooting things off-screen without even thinking about them. I’m casually dropping missiles below the TV for group combos. I’m flying through a giant robot’s legs and transforming while aimed upwards so I can land on a tiny platform above its butt to reprogram it before it turns around. This would not be possible without the new control scheme. I’m going to use this review to explain how this game is impossible without the Wii U, not because of “forced waggle” but because the level design takes advantage of it. There is a TON of brilliant design in this game that casual players (game journalists) will never see, and hardcore players NEED TO FUCKING KNOW ABOUT.

aquarosa

Continue reading “Star Fox Zero – You’re Improving, Fox!”

The Last Of Us – Videogames Growing Up

After turning the gaming world upside down with the Uncharted games, Naughty Dog is about to revolutionize gaming again in a whole new way. Game Director of The Last of Us, Bruce Straley (God), recently took time out of his busy schedule to talk to Siliconera about the most anticipated game of 2013.


Continue reading “The Last Of Us – Videogames Growing Up”

Mutant Mudds – A Cool Game


Look at this man. Isn’t he a rugged, handsome, well-learned individual? He’s not the new Miyamoto, he’s not going to predict the future of videogames, and he wont try to sell you a graphics engine. He’s just a guy who wanted to make a cool game. Mutant Mudds is that cool game.

Continue reading “Mutant Mudds – A Cool Game”

Mario Kart 7: A Diagnosis

So I’ve done the basic run through of 150cc and played some online matches. I think I’m prepared to talk about Mario Kart 7. This isn’t a review because I hate reviews and any Mario Kart 7 review that doesn’t read: “it’s Mario Kart“, is a waste of time. I am going to file this under reviews though because, you know, convention. Instead this is an analysis of changes made to the Mario Kart formula in this, the seventh entry to the series. It’ll be posted here and over at Koopa Beach.

First up, I am really disappointed that the game doesn’t feature some of the more extensive time trial options that Mario Kart Wii included. By that I’m talking about being able to download regional and worldwide ghosts and examine the top ten rankings. This was a real source of motivation to improve in Mario Kart Wii and I’m proud to say I made the top ten in Australia for Cheep Cheep Beach and Vanilla Lake. That came from seeing that my times were close to the top times and having amazing ghosts to compete against in the form of wifi friends and housemates. The other great thing it did was tell stories. If you followed the world record times closely you’d see new shortcuts and techniques for tracks open up. It was incredible and I was hoping to dedicate a significant amount of words on Koopa Beach to just that aspect of the game as it went through early development stages. As it stands though, that commentary will now probably come from the elite players who I expect will be hanging around at the established time trial communities. That link I just made though is dead at time of writing. And any stories that do come will only be fragments strewn across message board posts. It looks like history may be lost.

Continue reading “Mario Kart 7: A Diagnosis”

Nintendo E3 2011 Press Conference Premonition

People will call me a hippy when I say this but I’ve always felt a resonance with Nintendo consoles. They speak to me through channels I can’t describe. This isn’t some delusional fanboy shit – this is real hippy waves of energy that you just gotta feel, man. When Project Dolphin was announced I was living on a tropical island in the Pacific; when Project Revolution was announced I was a political activist; and for the past year or so I’ve worked as a barista.
Project Café.

Today I was working and thinking a lot about E3 and how it was going to change my life and give me new meaning and direction, man. I looked down at the latte I was making and there I saw it: everything I needed to know about Project Cafe. I was just like Agent Morgan from Deadly Premonition, ciphering messages from the milk and coffee. I stared at it in a trance and it all came to me. This is how it will take place at E3…

Agent Morgan
F.K in the coffee. it never fails.

Continue reading “Nintendo E3 2011 Press Conference Premonition”

Pietriots.com Exclusive! A Sneak Peak at the Nintendo E3 Conference

With their show highjacked and the crowd in awe at the sheer brutality of Reggie Fils-Aime, a desperate Sony lackey kills the power from backstage. As the lights go out Reggie is heard to utter; “my body… is ready.”

Reggie and I had a coffee last week and we had a lot to catch up on. Turns out he’s been so busy kicking arse, taking names and running NOA that he hasn’t even had time to plan E3 in years, let alone get Fatal Frame 4 or Disaster: Day of Crisis localised. Who has been planning E3 then? You guessed it, Cammie Dunaway. Last E3 was a real kerfuffle if you recall my entry last year. Cammie told me they had already done the conference inside an L.A. McDonalds and it involved Reggie fighting everyone. You can just imagine my sense of betrayal when the actual conference took place and Reggie was restrained to talking about sales while Cammie embarrassed herself in front of the gaming community again. I was telling Reggie over coffee that it was these lies that forced me to sleep with Cammie’s daughter out of spite and cause the breakdown of our relationship.

It has to be said: Reggie is such an understanding and caring man. He looks me square in the eye and tells me that I did the right thing to cheat on Cammie with her daughter. He goes on though to explain that, despite my virtuous actions, Cammie had fallen into a state of despair. In her desperate state, the currently scheduled conference was to be her coming out on stage and performing interpretive dance of projected 2011 sales figures to the tune of a Super Mario Bros ringtone. Reggie explained that it was up to me to track Cammie down, cheer her up and deliver a solid E3 script. I asked if we needed a high concept one like my rejected Animal Crossing proposal or actually do the McDonald’s conference from last year. Reggie told me that we just had to keep it simple because planning time was short. Reggie payed for our coffee with a $100 note and left before they could give him change.

Continue reading “Pietriots.com Exclusive! A Sneak Peak at the Nintendo E3 Conference”

A Night with Dunaway

Last night I had Cammie Dunaway over. I found it unusual that she’d be in Perth this close to E3 so I said “You’re not leaving yourself much time.”
“Hehe, for what sweety?” Cammie replied.
“E3 of course, it took me over 24 hours to fly to L.A.”
“Oh we’ve already done it silly.”
“Done E3? The press conference and everything?”
“Yeah we recorded it last week, everyone who attended is under an NDA. Only the internet hasn’t found out yet, hehehe.”

This was a lot for me to take in so I motioned for her to get back to sucking my cock. Over the next hour, when she came up for a breather, she filled me in on what happened.

Continue reading “A Night with Dunaway”