Splatfest – Pineapple Liberation (EU/AUS)

It’s a debate that’s raged for centuries. Wars have been fought over it. Entire civilisations have fallen. Since the dawn of time, squids have fought over whether or not pineapple belongs on pizza. That’s right, the age old question. Does pineapple belong on pizza?  Ancient drawings from million year old squid civilisations depict a pizza with the pineapple being removed. Some say this proves it’s not an ingredient, others suggest the pineapple is being removed during the act of eating, and therefore part of the pizza. Pro-Pineapple Propaganda suggests it’s not even a true relic, but the work of Squid Satan. The true purpose of the pineapple remains a mystery, and this unanswered question has been responsible for untold bloodshed and inkloss throughout history. Today, it’s finally going to be answered in the most definitive way possible; a Splatfest.

I’ve joined team Anti-Pineapple because I am Pro-Freedom. “Pro-Pineapple” is founded on a lie, that pineapple has no place other than pizza. Pineapple should not be restricted to pizza, but have the right to be placed where ever is most convenient or appropriate. I believe the Squid Elders would have it no other way, and today, I will fight for that belief with a Splattershot in my hand, and pineapple juice in my blood. I am fighting for freedom.

splatfruit

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The Hype War

Hours ago, war broke out across the North American continent – no platform was spared as Electronic Arts invaded, attempting to seize all Activision strongholds on the continent. As we speak, more EA forces are mobilising off the east coast of Australia and there are reports of the EA navy circling Europe from the North Sea to the Black Sea, preparing for an invasion before the week is out. This is of course the Great Gaming War of 2011 and just as the poster above depicts, your kids will ask you about what role you played in this pivotal moment in history.

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