When Old Speculation is Frontpage News

UPDATED AT THE BOTTOM!:

Stepping up to the plate today is Eurogamer’s Fred Dutton, perhaps best known for breaking the Earth shattering news that Dead or Alive: Dimensions made the Japanese sales charts, coughed up some extremely exciting news an hour ago. Fred Dutton revealed, through his sources of typing in a search on the ESRB website, the existence of a mysterious title known as ‘Zelda Universe’.

http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2011-05-26-what-is-zelda-universe

Holy shit! I immediately ran to Adium to tell Pro all about this incredible discovery. Pro was much more level headed and said it was just a website. I didn’t want to beleive him though and went back to my trusted Fred Dutton for clues to Zelda’s Universe

Given its title and that small collection of facts, an online Zelda MMO is the obvious guess, but that seems highly unlikely given Nintendo’s attitude to both online play and developing games for platforms other than its own.

Guarded speculation! He makes a bold claim but then quickly backs away saying it’s unlikely. Fred goes on:

Zelda Universe is the name of the franchise’s official website, but then the ESRB doesn’t rate web content. Some kind of game embedded in the site then? Again, that doesn’t really some like something Nintendo would do.

And then it all came flooding back to me. Ten years ago I played a game on the Zelda website.

Zelda.com2001
I'll join you Link!

Look there’s the little ESRB rating and everything! E: VIOLENCE! Everyone can be violent! Does anyone else remember this? This game? Here’s a reminder.

Link by a bridge
Circluar gaming never took off

It was awful. You staggered around this little map and collected trinkets and it unlocked the official timeline of Zelda! Except the person who wrote that timeline had about as much knowledge and credibility as Fred Dutton. !!! Maybe that’s it! Maybe Fred Dutton wrote the script to Zelda Universe and wanted to remind everyone about it! You know, to celebrate the tenth anniversary of Zelda Universe!

Relive the magic of Zelda Universe on on the Wayback machine!

UPDATE: Holy shit. Every arsehole and his dog is running this story now.
ITWire – Who should really know better.
1UP – Who reported it as confirmation of a Mario Allstars style compilation.
Other sites who should be ashamed include CVGJoystiq and G4. Another website I have never heard of said the sun would explode if Nintendo did not explain Zelda Universe. But my favourite was Gamespot where they updated the story to link to a post on their own forums ‘way back’ in 2008. Two thousand and eight? Remember those days? This goes back a LOT further than that Adam Morino or whatever your name is. If you’re a poster on one of these hilariously pathetic media sites, please spam their comment box with links to this article. It could be a struggle to be noticed past comments like this though.

faggot

It wasn’t all disgraceful from the collective gaming media though, Kotaku buckled the trend to report accurately for a change, although their source does appear to be the Gamespot forums claiming the ESRB date only goes back to 2008. This is fairly typical of Kotaku’s investigative methodologies.

Author: Roland

Opinions expressed by this author do not represent this author. Please understand.

8 thoughts on “When Old Speculation is Frontpage News”

  1. !

    Fantastic timing and analysis. It’s misfortunate that most game journalists rely on game industry analysts to provide any kind of off-topic non-sequitur analysis in on subjects they’re not versed in.

    Like

  2. ahahaha. Nice work on this. I checked out the ESRB page and noticed it had been rated forever and a year ago and couldn’t understand why anyone was running it as a story. Glad to know exactly what it was used for.

    Like

  3. Charles, here.

    I have just returned from holiday in the African wilderness, quite refreshed. Allow me to reacquaint my PlayStation Network Stat- WHAT THE DEVIL IS THIS? I AM DENIED CONNECTION? DO NOT INTERFERE WITH MY YAKUZA 4!

    -Charles, UK

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s