Good morning. I feel like I’ve been asleep for the last 10 years. I had convinced myself this was a game, but the intricate detail of the shadows convinced me this place was real after all. The rest of my life was a dream. The world wasn’t round or flat, we lived on the organic ecosystem of a defeated titan. My memories of wielding the Monado still lingered in black and white, but now it was time to fill them back up like an old colouring book. Just being back in Colony 9 was enough to feel energised with purpose.
Continue reading “Xenoblade Chronicles: Definitive Edition – Life on the Bionis”
Can you believe it?! Crystal Chronicles is finally being released with online and cross-play! Yay! This extremely unique GameCube game that once required 4 Game Boy Advance to play is now becoming accessible with modern technology. Well, that’s what we thought.
In a throwback to the PAL days where people in Australia and Europe gamed on 50hz TVs out of technical necessity, Square-Enix has decided to bring back that restrictive nostalgia by region locking this game online. I live in Australia and this is what happened when I tried to play with my friend in the USA.
Continue reading “Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles – Online Border Patrol”
The online patch has now arrived on Nintendo Switch! I’ve been playing it for a few weeks now, and thought it was a good time to do another writeup on it with the game currently on sale in Nintendo’s eShop Multiplayer promotion. You can read more about the game itself in my previous writeup here, but this one will be strictly about the online. Who’s ready to drive safely and considerately into the first corner with me? Nah? Okay well, I’ll spend the next few paragraphs catching you up.
Continue reading “GRID Autosport – Online Class of 2020”
Good morning. What year is it?
I fell asleep on Earth and now I’ve woken up after an unknown number of years, alert and refreshed. Kindred Technologies are just the best, aren’t they? They call themselves the “4th best” space exploration company, but they really speak to me as a normal human being. I didn’t have much to live for so I signed up for their “experiment”. The year was 2034 and I got myself into 5 million dollars of debt from working too much and… wait, is that how working is supposed to work? I’ve never had the time or energy to think about it. Anyway, I’ve been given an opportunity to redeem myself by being launched towards a random planet in an experiment to find a habitable environment for humans. I was feeling lucky and sure enough, managed to land somewhere in one piece. Let’s see what this place is all about.
Continue reading “Journey to the Savage Planet – New Lease on Life”
So it was awesome seeing live gameplay of Paper Mario: The Origami King for Switch, but before the stream Nintendo announced Wayforward was going to show something off that was third party related. Speculation, of course, followed, we even had our guesses it came from a third party like Konami. Except, eh, it was Bakugan.
Funny enough, this meme image is based on a classic Simpson episode and somebody actually made a fan game of the golf game Bart actually got.
So what comes is the obvious “let’s blame Nintendo for this because it is their fault!” when you could, you know, think about the following: Continue reading “So you’re mad about Bakugan on Switch…”
I’m here to review games and chew bubblegum, and I’m all out of gum. Let me see if I can find some more on this security camera…
I said gum, not gun. Oh well, it’s time to kick some arse either way. I’m gonna review this game real hard.
Continue reading “Duke Nukem 3D – Hail to the Switch, Baby”
Once upon a time, a group of Nintendo developers were working in an office. Suddenly, a global event happened that forced them to work from home. At first they enjoyed the comfort, but soon began to miss going outside. They just weren’t getting the exercise and body stimulation they needed. To solve this problem, the developers ordered some copies of Ring Fit Adventure. Gaming and fitness at the same time? Now you can work out while you work! Unfortunately, the game is so sold out that Nintendo’s own staff can’t even get a copy. Gotta fill those pre-orders first. Not content with waiting until their bodies turned to dust, these brave Nintendo developers decided to take the challenge into their own hands and design a piece of software themselves. Jump Rope Challenge uses the Joy-Cons to simulate a jump rope, with a counter on the screen and cute art style for motivation.
This game is a free download, and was announced and released on the same day in this tweet. If you want to give it a try, all you need is around 70mb of free space and two Joy-Cons that come with the regular Switch. If you’re too lazy, just follow my journey instead.
Continue reading “Jump Rope Challenge – Seven Day Adventure”
My bags are packed and I’m ready for a new adventure. After a lengthy approval process, I’ve finally got my Isle of Armor pass and the train is here. Wait, how am I going to take a train to an island? A Corviknight winked at me. That was all I needed to see.
Continue reading “Pokemon Isle of Armor – Go Your Own Way”
What a great day. There’s nothing like being out in nature, completely free. You don’t have anywhere to be, and you’re riding your bike happily along. You start riding a bit faster, not because you need to be anywhere, but because the mountain is daring you. You scoot around the corner to get a better view, then get faster and faster downhill. WOOOOO!! YEAH! Suddenly it’s getting twisty… better slow down. Nah, you can handle this!
Continue reading “Lonely Mountains: Downhill – Open Air Time Trials”
No need for any explanation. It’s the future, we’re driving, and the lights are green!
Alright so ZR is accelerate, ZL is brake. That’s all I really know going into the first race, with no introduction, text or objective. I got this! The eShop description claims this is “set in the near future, with a new kind of wheel technology” but there’s no story in the actual game. That’s all you really need to know in an arcade racer, to be fair. I hung on to the road as best I could while learning the controls and taking in this immense track detail.
Continue reading “RISE: Race The Future – Formula eShop”
After a decade of “Borderlands would be cool on Wii / Wii U / Switch” followed by thinking emojis, something finally happened. Borderlands 1, 2 and The Pre-Sequel have all come out on Switch and I’ve started playing the first game. These were released with no screenshots, footage or impressions so there’s some unknowns that I would like to quickly clear up in this impressions article. Firstly and most importantly, the game has motion controls! Rejoice!
Continue reading “Borderlands: Nintendo Switch Edition Impressions!”
Can you believe it, Zach? Deadly Premonition is getting a sequel. Not only that, but the first game has been revived on Nintendo Switch. I was a huge fan of the original 10 years ago, and this was perhaps the most shocking announcement I’ve ever seen in a Nintendo Direct. I had accepted the game as a one-of thing, and never even considered a sequel after the director had moved on. I should have known, Zach. Directors never move on. The coffee warned me about this.
Continue reading “Deadly Premonition – Sequel in the Coffee”
A new dimension has opened up in my mind, and it’s consuming everything I once knew. An entire spectrum is threatening the comfort zone of certainty that regular Picross has spent years establishing. There are no breaks anymore, no stops, only different colours. The road doesn’t end, it only changes. A simple yes or no question has now become an open essay. Life will never be the same.
Continue reading “Picross S4 – Rainbow Revolution”
What if Metroid was a cat? You would finally be able to crawl. It would also be a completely different game with different level design, different movement options and Nintendo probably would have chosen Yoshi to star in the game instead. Hmmm, that wouldn’t be such a bad timeline. We would have a whole genre of Yoshivanias. Moving on from this alternative past, we have a brand new Indie game called Gato Roboto with a similar aesthetic to the original Metroid on NES. You could argue it’s even more ancient as it lacks a full colour palette. However, once you start playing this game it comes to life and impresses with modern movement and design.
Continue reading “Gato Roboto – Meowtroid Zero Kitten”
Those industry fat cats want to charge big bucks for their tunes, but I think music should be free man. I’ve been making a few tunes to see what works in this thing, and thought I’d share. For ease of use I’ve put a separate sound clip, followed by an image of the notes you can input yourself. Enjoy the freedom. No likes, favs, subscribes or divides here man. This is all about sharing the vibe.
Keep in mind there are limitations of the Town Composer, it doesn’t have sharp notes so some things have gotta be in different keys. Still, a bit of compromise can get most songs in a recognisable state. You just gotta take what life throws at you man. How do you get these? There’s no password or online sharing unfortunately, but it’s very easy to just copy the notes yourself. Talk to Isabelle in the Town Hall and just move the notes up and down until you get what you want. If you don’t have the Town Hall yet then keep playing and come back to this later! Music always waits for you, so you can wait for it.
Continue reading “Animal Crossing Cool Beats: New Horizons, Classic Tunes”