Metroid Prime – Federation Soldier Log #09

justme

I’m not Samus Aran. I can’t wall jump, roll into a ball or somersault over waves of enemies. Armed with a human-sized mech, Federation equipment and a positive attitude, I’m just an ordinary soldier doing my best. I joined the Federation Force three years ago and I’ve been working my way up, taking care of a few Space Pirates here and there and helping other soldiers where I can. Today I’ve been assigned my toughest, most dangerous mission yet.

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Nintendo still loves us

It’s been a pretty good year. Not a great one, but pretty good. We’ve seen some heavy hitters on 3DS with Fire Emblem Fates and Kirby Planet Robobot, and intense console action with Star Fox Zero and some memorable Splatfests. Dragon Quest 7, Federation Force and Color Splash are brand new games that just released with tons of content. Pokemon Sun & Moon is right around the corner, and set to be the biggest Pokemon adventure yet. Despite a handful of 3DS games though, next year looks a bit empty. It’s even worse on the Wii U front, with nothing Nintendo-related besides Zelda. Yooka-Laylee is gonna be great too, but there’s an ominous dark void after March. Nintendo has been tight-lipped about NX on a level without precedent. Fans are getting frustrated, confused, and feeling a bit left out.

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Xtype Plus My Arsehole

Was feeling a bit adventurous tonight and I thought I’d try a new game. I also had a surplus of My Nintendo coins to get rid of. After redeeming a 3DS theme I noticed Xtype Plus was 50% off! The game was now $2, and basically free, right? May as well, right? I like arcade games and it might prove to be an addictive score-chaser. Just a bit of fun to compliment my night.

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FAST Racing NEO – Future Pack DLC Bingo GX Deluxe Happy Times Zero Kart 8

The fastest download ever has hit the Wii U. I’m not joking, the Future Pack DLC for FAST Racing NEO clocks in at 13mb on the eShop, then somehow turns into a 2mb download on the HOME menu, then installs itself before you can even read the track list. What’s happening? Too late, we’re off.

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The Legend of Kusakari – Freshly Cut Justice

We’ve all done it. You’re playing your favourite legendary videogame with a very important quest to do. Traveling across a field to your next destination, your mind is heavy with responsibility. If only there was something to ease the tension. Swaying in the wind, something catches your eye… fresh grass. Thick, luscious, green, just begging to be cut. A few slashes can’t hurt, right? HYAH! CHOP! Health and money fly out but you don’t even care. The sound effect is rewarding enough. The grass disintegrates into the air along with your troubles. The leafy smell comes through the screen and you start to feel connected to nature. The objective of saving the world fades into the background as you seek out more grass to cut. HYAH! More! MORE! MOOOORE!

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Federation Force is a good game, and that’s NOT okay

I have spent the last week trapped in an emotional prison and I can’t take it anymore. I am absolutely fuming with anger after playing through Metroid Prime: Federation Force. It is a well-crafted game, and this is a big problem. Next Level Games have poured tons of resources into what is fundamentally an INSULT to Metroid fans. They’ve wasted 20 hours of my life, and KILLED the Metroid franchise by gutting the structure, butchering the art style, and offending my entitlements as a traditional gamer who has supported Nintendo since the NES.

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Project Zero: Maiden of Black Water – Safe to Drink

Mt. Hikami is a popular suicide spot for young girls. It has a dark reputation but when someone feels helpless, alone, and “ready”, this spot is the brightest thing they can see. You have no control over any aspects of your life, but you have the choice to kill yourself. The very thought is liberating because you can actually do something with a result, and make a difference by removing your misery from the world. The stresses of your environment fade into the background of your mind with this empowering thought. “Do it” you hear a voice behind you. There’s nobody there… huh? “Doooo it. KILL YOURSELF. KILL KILL KILL KILL!!!!” Whooaaa, this outside force is encouraging your selfish act, and it suddenly has no appeal. All the power and strength you just mustered will now be used to stop this evil force.

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Runny Egg – Breakfast on the eShop

12.38am. I had eggs for breakfast, but they were far from my mind in the middle of the night. It was Winter and I was lying down watching Summer Games Done Quick, taking in the joy of my favourite hobby from half a world away. One of my favourite reasons to watch speedrun marathons is discovering new games. Runny Egg was up next, and it was a good enough reason to stay on the couch. I’ve never heard of this game, but it looked cheerful enough that I could pretend it was Summer and continue escaping my life.

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Fire Emblem Fates – Birthrights and Love, Conquest and Blood

This game has taken over my life the past few months and absolutely dominated my 3DS playtime. After 160 hours I’m finally ready to write about how good it is. It’s gone above and beyond my expectations. The story is ambitious, the level design is brilliant, the characters are interesting, the soundtrack is rich, and the gameplay has evolved in all the right ways.

chooseyourfate

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The three (and a half) reactions to No Man’s Sky

No Man’s Sky is engulfing the gaming zeitgeist at the moment with every message board and news website drenched in discussion of the procedurally generated space exploration game. In this desperate attempt to get Pietriots badly needed clicks by posting about something topical, I’ll oversimplify the issue by distilling it down to what are essentially the only three responses the game has evoked. In fairness, the reaction to any game can be distilled down to the same three but the absurd about of hype around No Man’s Sky has amplified the effect. It is impossible to have a neutral opinion on this game, so, which category do you fall in?
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80 Days

Inspired by the Jules Verne novel Around the World in Eighty Days, 80 Days is a choose-your-own-adventure game. You play as Jean Passepartout, the recently employed valet of English gentlemen Phileas Fogg who wagered that he could travel around the world in 80 days. As Passepartout, it’s up to you to pack Fogg’s bags, plan his itinerary and manage his belongings throughout the journey. Developed by British studio inkle and written by Meg Jayanth, 80 Days drenches Verne’s novel in feminist steampunk with a twist of romantic orientalism. Originally published on iPhone, 80 Days was ported to Andriod in late 2014 and eventually arrived on PC/Mac in mid 2015, this review was played on desktop version. 80 Days’s excellent writing, vibrant art and unique gameplay combine to deliver a polished game that comes highly recommended.  Continue reading “80 Days” →

Incompatible With Game Journalists: A Star Fox Zero Review

Ladies and gentlemen, according to the internet at large I have a problem of Nintardism Type 3. I am suppose to be in the loud minority that Star Fox Zero is a terrible game and Miyamoto should be fired over it. Yes, Star Fox Zero is supposedly a blight on Nintendo’s record of quality games.

Having played Star Fox Zero constantly since said release, here is my response to that.

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Star Fox Zero managed to innovate the way an on-rail and dog-fighting shooter should be, and also proves to be an amazing follow-up/reimagining of Star Fox 64. With EAD’s expertise in making a solid gameplay experience to Platinum Games’ amazing visual flair, this is without a doubt one of the best single player experiences on WiiU. Even with some (un)obvious flaws.

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