Disproving the “Retail vs Digital” conspiracy theory

Lately we’ve seen some stock issues with key Nintendo games all around the world, including Monster Hunter in Europe, Fire Emblem and Lego City in the USA, and now Luigi’s Mansion is becoming difficult to obtain in the Year of Buying Luigi Games. Rather than being an indication that these games are selling well, it’s led to conspiracy theories that Nintendo’s short shipping games on purpose in some evil scheme to “force” the eShop on us. This seems to happen every time a Nintendo product sells well, going back to the Wii and DS days where Nintendo created “artificial shortages” for the fastest selling systems in history at the time. While I think limiting the sales potential of a product has some great upsides, it’s certainly not part of Nintendo’s plan.

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James Noir’s Hollywood Crimes 3D – Hotel Death

I recently picked this game up on the cheap and it’s been an unexpected ride. Far from a cut-and-dry puzzle game, Hollywood Crimes comes with a bizarre morbid atmosphere brought to life with creepy live actors who take their roles very seriously. The concept makes no apologies for its blatancy, you’re a contestant in a Puzzle Game Show in 1961 and weird things are happening between rounds. A killer leaves touch screen puzzles (with instructions) behind at crime scenes and the FBI calls you for help. Yes you, the Game Show contestant who has competed in 1 round!

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Splash or Crash (Kersploosh!) – Toilet Simulator

Splash or Crash has just hit the eShop in Europe and Australia and for some reason this is another game Nintendo of Europe and America could not agree on. Determined not to make a recognisable franchise out of this, they’ve given it separate names to confuse people around the world (much like Pullblox / Pushmo / Fallblox / Crashmo). It’s $3.90 AU so I bought it not expecting too much, and I still found it underwhelming. You control a stone that drops down a well and the goal is to avoid obstacles and fall to the bottom as fast as possible, like a failing third party publisher grabbing for an excuse.

Continue reading “Splash or Crash (Kersploosh!) – Toilet Simulator”

WiiU is Failing, but it isn’t Nintendo’s fault

Good lord, I’m having déjà vu yet again! Three months into the life of the WiiU, we’re already seeing the cycle repeat itself as it did with the 3DS; sales start to stall, and third parties are no where to be seen. According to the NDP, WiiU versions of games are selling worse then the Vita! (…Vita still counts?) Nintendo didn’t do enough to advertise the WiiU and court third parties! WiiU is now doomed!

Nintendo isn’t to blame for this current mess. Continue reading “WiiU is Failing, but it isn’t Nintendo’s fault”

Tokyo Crash Mobs – Outta My Way, Hipsters!

Ever been standing in a line and somebody pushes in? Of course you have. Someone up near the front is calling out to their friends, it’s a group of three. Sure guys, nobody will mind! Anger enters your bloodstream and you yell out, but the people are too far up the line to hear it. Or they ignore it. The frustration starts to boil, but you risk losing your spot in the line if you approach them. They are approaching the line quickly, you have to do something! In a swift act of bravery, you pick up the person in front of you and throw them forward, knocking the line-cutters over like bowling pins and restoring peace and fairness to the line. Tokyo Crash Mobs brings this fantasy to life and it’s as fun as it sounds.

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escapeVektor (3DS) – Brilliant, Simple, Addictive

Vektor is a strange little guy. Last year he got himself trapped inside a CPU in escapeVektor Chapter 1 and he’s been stuck there ever since. Realising that WiiWare has no more exits or answers, he’s made his way to the eShop on 3DS to get people’s attention. He’s brought with him some new abilities, online leaderboards and tons of new levels. Will you answer Vektor’s cry?

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Gunman Clive – 2 dollars, 2 paragraphs

It’s been an interesting week on the 3DS eShop, and for the first time in almost a month I’ve played another system more than Wii U. 3DS has reminded me how amazing it is, with escapeVektor, Gunman Clive and New SMB 2 DLC assaulting the eShop this week. Americans can also finally stop bitching about not having Wario Land II. I’m going to write about Gunman Clive first because I’ve already finished it (I’ll probably never finish The Impossible Pack in New SMB 2). Basically it’s a 2d platformer with short levels, a solid physics engine, and a good western vibe. Jumping, running and shooting are all simple and responsive, the music is catchy and the 3D effect is amazing.

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It’s an iOS port as you can see (*groan*), but thankfully 3DS has real buttons so the screen isn’t obscured like this picture. It has its fair share of glitches, once I had a sound loop go forever; even quitting back to the menu left bullet sounds repeating through the speakers. Bizarrely my 3DS completely shut off during one of the boss fights too. One other thing that annoys me is that enemies re-spawn about 5 seconds after you kill them, I’m not sure if this is intentional but it’s annoying if you just want to take your time. It’s a decent game with some problems, but is it worth it? It’s worth it just for the boss battles, but there’s 16 levels of platforming thrown in-between. Levels are short (30 to 90 seconds without dying), but it uses a lot of different physics and objects (by a lot I mean as much as any other game) and doesn’t dwell on a new idea for very long. Boss Battles give you a few simple patterns to learn and they look pretty awesome. Gunman Clive is very short but good fun and has a few surprises. If you have an awkward amount of money left on your eShop account like $3.10 then it’s worth buying.

Spirit Hunters Inc. – Now Hiring

Did you see that? Something bouncing around your peripheral vision… probably nothing. Wait, what was that sound? A faint cry… probably a bird. At night time? Hmm. Those unexplained little specs and sounds don’t mean you’re crazy, there’s actually a logical explanation. Spirits have entered the world and they’ve taken residence in your house, at your local park and everywhere you take your 3DS. How convenient! They are invisible to our human eyes, but now there’s a software app on DSiWare that exposes their presence in the world and lets us play with them!

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“I like my new WiiU, but I won’t make games for it!”

It has been a few weeks since the WiiU launched, and I am loving it. Miiverse is amazing, ZombiU is amazing and New Super Mario Bros U is pretty close to topping Super Mario Bros. 3 is terms of being my favourite side-scrolling Mario game. While the game journalism side has already been torn apart by Grubdog, its time for me to tear apart the other BS part: the third parties. Continue reading ““I like my new WiiU, but I won’t make games for it!””