Pietriots are really bad at social media. We have a Facebook page but don’t know what to do with it. So I decided to run a contest to promote it! Is this how you social media?
Anyway if you want to win a copy of Civ V + expansions then like our Facebook page and comment for a chance to win! At the time of writing only 17 people like our Facebook page and like 8 of them write for the site so your chances are pretty good!
Author: Roland
Opinions expressed by this author do not represent this author. Please understand.
Peru continues to celebrate the Year of Luigi
Strolling through Puno on Lake Titicaca, found Luigi sitting atop a pile of lesser mascots.
Unboxing this Xmas’ hot new gaming machine
Because I possess future sight, I can tell you precisely which hot new gaming machine will sell the most units this holiday shopping period. Not wanting to be stuck with one of the loser consoles I made sure I got on the bandwagon early and recorded the special moment so we can all share it together forever. That’s what unboxing videos are all about right?
I am always right.
Just dropping by real quick because look what happened to Takedown.
Remember that time I warned that this game would be terrible and that I wish it failed? It was the time I said exactly that and then the developers, along with their little troupe of fans, came in to defend them. Guess they had good reason to be defensive? Of course I haven’t played it myself, I’ve been busy playing a quality Kickstarter game by the name Shadowrun. But wow, 27? I didn’t know IGN scored that low.
Get ready for E3 with your commemorative report card!
(Click for larger version)
I’ve taken the liberty of filling out the first conference for you since everyone will be watching Apple @ WWDC. Over the next two days fill out your cards and post them here and on the social medias or print a copy out to put on the fridge!
Conference Times in cities worth caring about after the jump.
Continue reading “Get ready for E3 with your commemorative report card!”
Don’t laugh at the Pietriot Times
Two years ago to the day I posted the original Pietriot Times. It was intended as a tongue in cheek look at the doom and gloom reporting surrounding Nintendo, the unstoppable juggernaught of video games. I posted it with little explanation and claimed it was a real newspaper going to print tomorrow. If you weren’t reading us back then and haven’t trawled our backlog, here it is again.
So then today I opened up my internet communication device and burst out laughing at the news that EA are porting Frostbite to mobile. So then, let’s just make some alterations.
SimSuburb Version 2.2
So after kicking the couchsurfers out of the study and with the girlfriend away I settled in for a big weekend of that new SimCity game everyone has been complaining about. And hey the 2.0 patch just came out, so they must’ve fixed all the bugs and added a host of new features right? Well, let’s just say Maxis’ approach to version numbering is ‘non-traditional’. In fact since starting this draft article on Monday they’ve released two patches, containing a solitary bug fix each. The version numbering appears to represent the amount of time since launch, since any reasonable person could not claim this game to be out of beta.
Pietriots Man of the Year – Nominees
The Pietriots Man of the Year is our annual award honouring individuals for their contribution to gaming drama during the calender year. Everyday gaming news tragics like me devour the latest corruption and sex scandals that engulf the gaming industry. It’s easy to get so caught up in the melodramatics that you lose the time to play games! Not that it matters though as many of this year’s nominees were more entertaining than the games they were invovled with. So without further ado, here are the nominees for the 2012 Pietriots Man of the Year.
Capitalism Ho!
I hope you’re all enjoying the devaluation of intellectual property in the Steam summer sale. Spare a thought for those who live south of the equator in Australia, who not only have to contend with winter but have daily deals look something like this.
I was thinking of captioning this but the picture says it all really.
The Week that Shaped the Future of Gaming.
The way we game today is vastly different from just five years ago and worlds apart from prehistoric times when we blew into cartridges in the vain attempt to bring them to life on our fuzzy cathode ray tubes. Gaming is so different and continues to change so fast that many warn against trying to predict the future, for fear of looking foolish in hindsight. You won’t find such cowardice from me though and unlike some, who have built careers out of looking like fools, I’ll be correct. I’ll be correct because I’ve already had months of hindsight, using my incredible brain to critically evaluate last weeks news and extrapolating an accurate future from it. There were five key pieces of news last week that taken alone barely warrant comment but together shape the future direction of video game delivery. In decades to come I will be seen as a gaming prophet, the chosen one, able to divine meaning from these cryptic runes.
Continue reading “The Week that Shaped the Future of Gaming.”SimCity Social is a disgrace
The SimCity brand has been through a lot. The last good SimCity was SimCity 4, released back in the start of 2003, but even that wasn’t a true step up from SimCity 3000 until the Rush Hour expansion. Future expansions were theorised but never eventuated, leaving the game’s enthusiastic modding community to push the game engine to it’s theoretical limits and polish SimCity 4 into a kind of modern society simulator come digital train set. Since then, EA have kept original developer Maxis distracted with Spore while conspiring with Tilted Mill Entertainment to ruin the franchise with SimCity Societies and forcing their Japanese affiliates to badly port remixes of SimCity 3000 to DS and iOS. Apparently they also got the work experience kids to make a unique SimCity for Wii but no one actually played it because, you know, it was a third party game on the Wii. EA’s latest betrayal of Will Wright’s legacy is assigning Playfish to develop SimCity Social for Facebook.
Mass Effect 3: The End
The Mass Effect 3 extended cut is almost upon us and over the next few days I’m going to talk at length about the ending to this remarkable trilogy of video games. There is a lot to say about this ending, interpretations, the community reaction, the reaction to the reaction, and meta-interpretations. I’ll just take it as I go, but for today I’ll be stepping through a number of interpretations of the ending. Spoilers will be abound obviously.
Nintendo’s Corroboree
Anyone ever had one of those mornings where you pass in and out of consciousness? When the dreams feel so real you have conversations with the people in them later about what they said in the dream and they look at you all confused? That has been me all week, passing in and out of consciousness inside my E3 mattress fort. I told Bill I was going to snuggle up for an hour before the Microsoft conference, when I woke it was dark and cold and when I woke again I was eating bananas and Vita-bix while Jack Tretton announced an htc phone as the new Playstation. I’m not really sure when I woke up or if I was ever asleep, but I’m here in the university library now and I have to tell you about the other part of my dream; Nintendo’s Corroboree. Continue reading “Nintendo’s Corroboree”
I was into the Humble Bundle before it was cool
As a leading trendsetter and self proclaimed hipster, I support independent artists in all fields before they sellout and become mainstream. The indie Humble Bundle is no different. Of course, a true connoisseur of gaming like myself bought the very first bundle which included the sublime World of Goo. I already owned World of Goo but it deserved more of my money. Now Humble Bundle V is out with a star studded lineup including Amnesia: The Dark Descent, the bigger budget version of Penumbra: Overture from the original bundle. In just ten hours they’ve already surpassed the money raised in the original bundle. This increasing popularity has a dark edge though, and I eluded to it the last time I promoted a Humble Bundle on this site.
Finally all the usual faggots are using it as an opportunity to promote their twitter accounts by donating obscene amounts. Must be nice to be Notch. Pietriots cannot afford such extravagance.
– Me, telling it like it is.
Continue reading “I was into the Humble Bundle before it was cool”
We interrupt your irregularly scheduled Pietriotic update to bring you important news about Diablo III’s servers!
Normally I wouldn’t openly divulge any details regarding our tumble log’s (or whatever The Kids call the content under this domain name) traffic but something was up.
All the other sites beat me to the punch, too. Diablo III‘s servers have been overloaded since day one and no one can play. They’ve used up all the good jokes like how this should’ve been error 1, not 37. They’ve said the one about how we’re online, Blizzard are the ones offline, they’re breaking their own DRM. I understand that there is a queue now. Like you take a ticket and get in line to play Diablo. Are there scalpers too? Are people selling their place in line to play to the highest bidder? Maybe Blizzard should include that in game, just like the auction house. Oh shit, even that joke has been done already.
Pietriots 