It’s just been announced via Twitter that Dynasty Warriors VS will not be coming to 3DS outside Japan. There’s no reason given, however we do know that Dynasty Warriors VS didn’t do very well in Japan, selling a mere 10,000 copies in its first week despite the heralded appearance of Samus and Link as bonus characters. Who cares, right? The game bombed, why do we care? Doesn’t that justify no western release? Absolutely not, and here’s why I think Tecmo-Koei are blowing a good opportunity.
Tag: Rant
Why GameInformer Makes Me Want To Punch A Kitten
Here we have a lovely piece about one of the greatest games of the last decade, Xenoblade Chronicles. It’s an “amazing game” says the author, Chris Warcraft of GameInformer. It features an “epic storyline” with “engaging characters” and “fresh combat”.
However.
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“Durp!” – SCE 2-for-1 Special
It’s been far too long since the last “Durp!,” hasn’t it? Truth be told, I’ve been trying to ignore the stupid things developers have been saying just to save me the trouble of writing up about it. But as you can clearly see, this segment is back from the dead. As my luck would have it, two beautifully, absurdly, and nearly-impossible quotes were dropped on my groin at nearly the same time. So what could be SO bad that it ripped me off my lazy rump and into SUPER RANT MODE?
Oh ho ho, just take a look inside and see…
Conduit 2 Wiimote Controls
I guess the timing is right to present the sequel to our Conduit/GoldenEye Wiimote Controls – my control settings for the first Conduit adapted to the sequel to The Conduit, which isn’t exactly The Conduit 2, but simply Conduit 2, a.k.a. DUKE NUKEM’s official return to video games. (The previous Note still applies, so keep those conditions in mind) My controls are geared toward an exploration/realism perspective, so it’s probably not the l337 onrine FPS’ing scheme suited to all those childish twitch-turning high-jumping strafe-running genre conventions that you were hoping to employ. I am raging infinity suns, but it’s not how I play shooty games.
Fortunately, this project includes somewhat less ranting and more explanation/analysis. Read on for screens/details and technical issues the gaming press probably didn’t mention in the reviews.
“Durp!” – David Cage: “I think I know what interactive entertainment is!”
There were so many stupid comments made recently that I really got overwhelmed and couldn’t do any of them. Oh, and I blame that flop 3DS system thing. Anyway, back to work!
Our latest “Durp!” comes from the mouth of David Cage, known for that Heavy Rain game that is a disgrace to the ADV genre.
“Look at Call Of Duty. How many copies does it sell every year? I’m fine with that. It’s cool. I’m just saying that I’m not happy with an industry that is entirely limited to experiences where all you are doing is shooting. That’s my problem. There is much more we can do with interactivity than just killing people.”
“Hey, what’s wrong with that quote? He’s defending videogames!”
Oh, yes, he’s defending videogames, but let’s look at one line in particular…
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Wii Sniper Rifle Video – Gameplay Montage
(DivX video link at end of post; watch the new video here)
A follow-up to my previous The House of the Dead: Overkill videos, this time focusing on the two affordable current-generation last-generation games that handle aiming calibration properly: Ghost Squad and The House of the Dead 2&3 Return. The video is a series of quick gameplay cuts trying to get the point across: with the appropriate gun+game combo, everything works “great”, not perfectly, but sometimes better than I expect. The footage says a lot, but there’s more I want to add.
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Wii Sniper Rifle Videos – HotD: Overkill
Live gameplay footage of The House of the Dead: Overkill using my “CTA Digital Sniper Rifle Gun for Wii” with calibrated aim. I checked a “popular” internet video site to sample other players using the accessory, and came back underwhelmed. I didn’t find any legitimate gameplay videos. Gamers, industry, you all suck. No wonder most rail shooters and accessories are designed for “dumb” customers – there’s no motivation/demand to advance the software or hardware, just an endless cycle of publishers assuming everyone is lazy while gamers REALLY ARE too lazy to aim a casual non-gun and instead complain about 12-digit codes. Even Sony’s Move is a broken, lag-plagued alternative with even dumber-looking accessories exclusively designed for gullible customers (has it been used in “regular” games yet?), and they’re willing to charge more for all of it.
(HotD: Overkill video link at end of post)
Gameplay from “Ghost Squad” and “HotD 2/3”. See Wii Sniper Rifle Gameplay
I’ll save my serious “review” of the accessory for later, but I will say it’s the best Wii rifle I’ve tried so far – the printed crosshairs on the fake scope do a good job of sighting targets, and the main trigger works great like some of the better handgun shells (the awesome part is it’s a RIFLE); on the downside, the main grip SUCKS (it’s not really shaped for a grip), but the trigger is still reachable with some improvisation (oh crap, I started reviewing it). Actually, these videos were made to address the shortcomings of Overkill’s gunplay. Please excuse the audio quality: it was late at night and I didn’t have the game volume up very high and my camcorder was literally inches away from my hands so the clackity noise of the trigger seems way louder than it really is.
“Durp!” – David Jaffe: [Insert not-so-classy comparison here]
Hello, and welcome to another edition of “Durp!” This time we cover our favorite developer (to make fun of), David Jaffe. With the NGP announced, surely he’s had time to come up with some sort of riveting, yet orthodox, opinion on the “Next Generation Portable” (that happens to just do things that current systems already do, but worse), right? No. No he has not.
So let’s make this a little game. Can you guess what David Jaffe compared the NGP to? CAN YOU POSSIBLY GUESS?
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“Durp!” – Capcom: “Durrr, no one plays handhelds anymore!”
Welcome to “Durp!”, a feature based around what there is far too much of: members of the gaming industry making completely and utterly retarded and/or unsubstantiated comments that make those with even the most minute amount of common sense or respect for gaming cringe in disgust.
And we’re going to start this with an absolute doozy from Capcom Interactive’s (a subsidiary of Capcom U.S.A. that produces mobile games) president and COO, Midori Yuasa…
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Conduit/GoldenEye Wiimote Controls
Note: These control settings were personalized for my bloated widescreen (16:9) TV that I sit fairly close to. You may get undesirable results if you use these settings on a fullscreen (4:3) TV setup, or if your Wii’s cursor behavior is already unstable due to poor sensor bar visibility, specific lighting conditions in your room, and/or your seating distance and position. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare – Reflex Edition is not a significant part of this discussion becuz the shoehorned FPS mechanics and single-player campaign are nonsense; it wasn’t worth the effort to customize the controls nor play past the tutorial stage. Call of what? Modern what? (Update: Conduit 2 controls here)
I’ve seen some player comments declaring the Wii “Pointer” controls in The Conduit and GoldenEye 007 are great or crap, or never getting them to feel “right” – ALL without adequately explaining why nor sharing their settings in detail as if it’s only a futile, individual effort they’re doomed to suffer (curse you, game! curse you, non-Nintendo developer!). What was the purpose of their interweb comments, their “discussion”? To WHINE? Yeah. To exchange ideas/info and support each other’s gaming experiences? HAH! Hell no.
So I have some info that’s useful to me and could be useful to others… =o
– The Conduit
(click to enlarge)
Handgun gameplay clips using the above settings – headshots preferred. Conduit handles it well; GoldenEye is just a trainwreck.
“Durp!” – “Epic Games”? Try EPIC FAIL
Epic Games’ CEO Mark Rein has been long known to have some unfathomable grudge against Nintendo for reasons unknown, most likely due to reasons surrounding Nintendo not buying their god-awful Unreal Engine license. Late last year, Mark made a rather amusing comment when asked about Nintendo’s 3DS.
“It’s below our [minimum specifications], from what we can tell. We don’t have a 3DS, so there’s no way for us to verify that. Everything we’ve been led to believe is that it’s below our min-spec. You couldn’t do a game that looks like [Epic Citadel] on it, for example.”
It’s pretty amazing that Mark Rein, someone who has no technical knowledge whatsoever, has the ability to tell what they can and cannot do with the system without actually playing around with it. Surely he must have some sort of basis behind this statement, right?
Animal Crossing 3DS: A Thinly-Veiled Wish List of Never Happenings
Alright, quiz time! Can you name a franchise that was suddenly demoted to the status of “casual game” when Ninty started winning and the term “kiddy” started going out of style? I bet you can’t gu…Wait, where are you looking? HEY, STOP CHEATING!
Yes, the answer is Animal Crossing. The franchise no “hardcore gamer” ever had an issue with until the casual gaming plague hit the industry.
So those new to the franchise, or maybe gaming in general (don’t tell Mike if you are), Animal Crossing is one of Ninty’s top-selling franchises, introduced in Japan in 2001 for the Nintendo 64 under the title “Animal Forest.” The game wasn’t released outside Japan until it was ported the next year to the GameCube.
The premise is simple. You have moved to a village full of (SHOCK) animal villagers, and are set up in a home by the village’s thieving merchant, Tom Nook. You are forced to do odd jobs and sell garbage in order to pay back the loan on your house, and as you earn more money can increase the size of your home (which you have to pay even more money for), all while collecting furniture and items to fill it with and show off to your friends. There’s a little more to it than that, but if you care that much you can look it up yourself you lazy bums!
Due to the profitability of the franchise, it surprised exactly zero people that Ninty revealed Animal Crossing alongside the 3DS. It also didn’t exactly wow anyone either, due to franchise issues that delve much deeper than whether or not the franchise is casual or not. This, of course, being the fact that there have been minimal changes to the base game over the three released installments. So is there anything worthwhile about this new installment? Anything at ALL?
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Pietriots 