So, how was it?
It’s been two months since I got this game and my adventure is finally coming to an end. Lego City Undercover is a ridiculously huge game that is often exciting but sometimes overwhelming. Writing this review gives me the same feeling, there’s SO MUCH to talk about, so much I can’t talk about, and starting it gave me a huge headache. Nevertheless once I started I couldn’t stop, and after some requests on Pie Radio to get it done here it is!
The first game in the Guild 02 series is here, and it’s quite a perplexing one. The Starship Damrey is a game that works best when you have no idea what to expect, making this review very pointless and counter-intuitive to your enjoyment. Nonetheless, instead of saying “go and buy it” and running off into the mist, I’m here to explain why it might be worth your time. If you’re already planning on playing it, stop reading here.
Continue reading “The Starship Damrey – Exploring the cold, silent corner of the eShop”
Commander Video is BACK, and since his WiiWare debut he hasn’t stopped running, making his way through every console, handheld and PC in sight. This review has me a bit nostalgic because BIT.TRIP RUNNER was one of the first games I reviewed for Pietriots, back when we had a brown background, no Twitter account and reviews didn’t have catchy subtitles. Like Pietriots, Runner has evolved its graphics to include more colours and detail, a better font, and triumphantly sports the ridiculous subtitle of Future Legend of Rhythm Alien.
After enjoying an obsessive amount of Nano Assault Neo on Wii U, I’ve been eagerly awaiting the Australian release of Nano Assault EX on 3DS. It still hasn’t come out but that turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I’ve taken the plunge into the unknown, changing my identity to discover the joys of the UK eShop. It’s a simple as switching your 3DS region setting and it really is a joy to browse, there’s about 100 DSiWare games here I’ve never heard of because they didn’t make it past the expensive Australian rating system. Anyway, Nano Assault EX was my first multi-region download and my 3DS wasn’t ready for this explosion of awesome.
Grubdog was alone. It was 2am and he couldn’t sleep. He was looking for a new game to play, not just any game but something special. Something to fill that empty void in his heart. He lived alone, all his friends were pixels and words on a screen. He was happy that way, with his choices. Sometimes though, it became hard to see what was in the distance. All he could see tonight was his PS3, as he shuffled towards the new PlayStation Plus games of May. “Thomas Was Alone?” Why was Thomas alone? Would Thomas be his friend? One 300mb download later, it would all become clear.
MUD, what does it stand for? It’s a mystery. The physical instruction manual – a rare thing for a Vita title – is literally a single folded piece of paper, which details absolutely nothing about the game. At all. There’s just legal information, safety precautions and phone numbers to ring in case your soufflé isn’t quite up to scratch. The digital manual doesn’t help either; it just mentions Monster energy drink a lot.
Actually, perhaps MUD is short for ‘Monster’s Urethra Declogger’. Continue reading “MUD – FIM Motocross World Championship, drink and drive”
I recently picked this game up on the cheap and it’s been an unexpected ride. Far from a cut-and-dry puzzle game, Hollywood Crimes comes with a bizarre morbid atmosphere brought to life with creepy live actors who take their roles very seriously. The concept makes no apologies for its blatancy, you’re a contestant in a Puzzle Game Show in 1961 and weird things are happening between rounds. A killer leaves touch screen puzzles (with instructions) behind at crime scenes and the FBI calls you for help. Yes you, the Game Show contestant who has competed in 1 round!
Continue reading “James Noir’s Hollywood Crimes 3D – Hotel Death”
Kirby has always been a cool character in my books but I’ve only appreciated him from a distance until now. Cute, a bit sassy, versatile; however I’ve never played his games for some reason. Not that they looked bad, I just have more serious games to play and never owned a NES to see where it all started. So far I’ve bought every Wii U classic game, because 30 cents is basically a gift. Balloon Fight, F-Zero, Punch Out; I played each of them for at least a few hours and had a good time appreciating their mechanics. The GamePad is just so comfortable and sharp that I want to play every game ever made on it, and these are the kind of games that never lose their magic touch. Kirby’s Adventure came out a few days ago so I grabbed it, looking forward to sampling another classic on the GamePad. I ended up playing through the entire game and beating it in two marathon sittings, completely engaged.
Continue reading “Kirby’s Adventure – 30 cent entry fee to Camp Kirby”
Splash or Crash has just hit the eShop in Europe and Australia and for some reason this is another game Nintendo of Europe and America could not agree on. Determined not to make a recognisable franchise out of this, they’ve given it separate names to confuse people around the world (much like Pullblox / Pushmo / Fallblox / Crashmo). It’s $3.90 AU so I bought it not expecting too much, and I still found it underwhelming. You control a stone that drops down a well and the goal is to avoid obstacles and fall to the bottom as fast as possible, like a failing third party publisher grabbing for an excuse.
Continue reading “Splash or Crash (Kersploosh!) – Toilet Simulator”
We’ve all heard the announcement by now, Wind Waker is being completely remade for Wii U. The seas aren’t exactly forgotten, but I had a different motive for this article. The Zelda Symphony hits Sydney this weekend and I’ve been playing Zelda games in frothing anticipation, namely The Wind Waker which I just finished an entire playthrough of. I’m so glad I did because it’s every bit as amazing as I remember, it was the great gaming cleanse I needed. When Nintendo made the announcement of the remake I almost shat my pants because I was playing Wind Waker a few hours before the conference and hadn’t even thought about the idea of a remake. The game is pretty much perfect already in my eyes. My last playthrough was in 2005 according to my save file, and playing it now allowed me to enjoy it with a different perspective.
Continue reading “The Wind Waker – Sailing The Forgotten Seas”
Ever been standing in a line and somebody pushes in? Of course you have. Someone up near the front is calling out to their friends, it’s a group of three. Sure guys, nobody will mind! Anger enters your bloodstream and you yell out, but the people are too far up the line to hear it. Or they ignore it. The frustration starts to boil, but you risk losing your spot in the line if you approach them. They are approaching the line quickly, you have to do something! In a swift act of bravery, you pick up the person in front of you and throw them forward, knocking the line-cutters over like bowling pins and restoring peace and fairness to the line. Tokyo Crash Mobs brings this fantasy to life and it’s as fun as it sounds.
Continue reading “Tokyo Crash Mobs – Outta My Way, Hipsters!”
In the world of Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots, if you have convoluted plot-devices from previous games in that series that had no answers to the questions raised, then you can fix that problem with Nanomachines™! With Nanomachines™, you can keep killer diseases like cancer at bay, make your military units competent and/or zombies who can shoot things somehow, and explain ridiculous plot devices that destroyed any writing creditability you had circa pre-2001! And thanks to this being the final Metal Gear Solid title (ahahaha nope not really), Solid Snake gets the send off he deserves. Wait, no, he didn’t. That’s what most of Kojima’s blind-fanbase truly believes (like thinking Cyborg Raiden is a good character); in actuality, this is one of the most hateful games I’ve ever played. Unlike Metroid: Other M, which had an equally stupid storyline with gameplay-intrupting cutscenes that also had questionable character development, MGS4 did whatever it could to piss me off… and no, the 2012 patch doesn’t help matters either. Continue reading “Metal Gear Solid 4 – Do you require Nanomachines™ in your diet? (WARNING: STORY SPOILERS)”
Mario used to be fun, about 50 years ago. Since then the franchise has slowly milked it’s way into creative bankruptcy, and here we have New Super Mario Bros U – possibly the least effort Nintendo has ever put into a game. We should all just buy it because it’s a Mario game right? It’s not even that. It’s boring and has no identity.
Continue reading “New Super Mario Bros U – Ugly, Uninspired, Unfun”
Vektor is a strange little guy. Last year he got himself trapped inside a CPU in escapeVektor Chapter 1 and he’s been stuck there ever since. Realising that WiiWare has no more exits or answers, he’s made his way to the eShop on 3DS to get people’s attention. He’s brought with him some new abilities, online leaderboards and tons of new levels. Will you answer Vektor’s cry?
Continue reading “escapeVektor (3DS) – Brilliant, Simple, Addictive”
ZombiU opens with uncertainty. Just what the hell are we getting into? Is the game good, bad, scary, ugly, beautiful? Music plays with a scattered melody as a man stands alone. Sweat drips from his face as the hopelessness of his situation sinks in, he’s surrounded. He threatens to give the scene a 4 out of 10, but the zombies pay no mind. They walk the streets with lopsided confidence. They know how dangerous they are, and soon everyone will.
Pietriots 