Tag: E3

Reggie Kart Videos – E3 2010

Join Reggie as he celebrates the first night of E3 2010: new software announcements, 3DS, ZELDASS, glorious sales data — all this excitement rapidly increases Reggie’s appetite. Surrounded by so many “game journalists,” Reggie can’t wait to thickly forge his foot against their flabby seats. Deep down, your behind is still sore from last year’s celebration. Punt.

(video link at end of post)Reggie disapproves of any DK-themed track.

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Reggie Kart Videos – E3 2009

Join Reggie as he celebrates countless servings of SORE ASS on the EVE OF E3 2009. How does Reggie relax and prepare for the show floor after flexing his Casual Might during the press conference? He cracks open a beer then TAKES NAMES on the worldwide kart circuit. Then he gets more beer and watches the replays.

(video link at end of post)
Reggie can be in two places at once. A single Mii cannot contain him.

Things take on interesting turn on the SECOND NIGHT OF E3 2009 as he patrols the worldwide servers for ASS in the name of justice. What did Reggie encounter?

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Pietriots.com Exclusive! A Sneak Peak at the Nintendo E3 Conference

Reggie and I had a coffee last week and we had a lot to catch up on. Turns out he’s been so busy kicking arse, taking names and running NOA that he hasn’t even had time to plan E3 in years, let alone get Fatal Frame 4 or Disaster: Day of Crisis localised. Who has been planning E3 then? You guessed it, Cammie Dunaway. Last E3 was a real kerfuffle if you recall my entry last year. Cammie told me they had already done the conference inside an L.A. McDonalds and it involved Reggie fighting everyone. You can just imagine my sense of betrayal when the actual conference took place and Reggie was restrained to talking about sales while Cammie embarrassed herself in front of the gaming community again. I was telling Reggie over coffee that it was these lies that forced me to sleep with Cammie’s daughter out of spite and cause the breakdown of our relationship.

It has to be said: Reggie is such an understanding and caring man. He looks me square in the eye and tells me that I did the right thing to cheat on Cammie with her daughter. He goes on though to explain that, despite my virtuous actions, Cammie had fallen into a state of despair. In her desperate state, the currently scheduled conference was to be her coming out on stage and performing interpretive dance of projected 2011 sales figures to the tune of a Super Mario Bros ringtone. Reggie explained that it was up to me to track Cammie down, cheer her up and deliver a solid E3 script. I asked if we needed a high concept one like my rejected Animal Crossing proposal or actually do the McDonald’s conference from last year. Reggie told me that we just had to keep it simple because planning time was short. Reggie payed for our coffee with a $100 note and left before they could give him change.

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Microsoft Media Conference Summary

Well I took one for the team and opted to miss the first half of the Italy vs. Paraguay game to watch the Xbox E3 show something something thingy. Just bullet points because who can be bothered typing words?

  • Call of Duty: Black Ops opens show with compelling on-rails footage.
  • Microsoft executive Dorky Dad walks off 1993 family sitcom to take over the presentation.
  • Metal May Cry footage shown, Dorky Dad confirms PS3 port.
  • Gears of War 3 played on stage, 4 player co-op provides great opportunities for friendly fire
  • Halo Reach shown on stage.
  • Fable 3 shown on stage.
  • And that concludes the list of exclusive Xbox games.
  • Xbox misses opportunity to RickRoll millions of people and instead maliciously inflict Justin Bieber on the population.
  • Some girl’s joke falls flat as she talks to her sister while they co-operatively watch television.
  • Xbox announces new sports compatibility just in case your TV doesn’t work with sports.
  • Wanker reckons that since he’ll be sharing the stage with a child and a bunch of Asian girls it is appropriate for him to dress as a pimp.
  • Baby Tiger mauls and kills young boy named Milo.
  • Rare back to the best; completely emulating Nintendo.
  • Alleged Kart racing game forgets to include items.
  • E3 game of the show so far front-runner Kinect Adventures announced, demo completely ruined by irritating bitches.
  • Ubisoft successfully identify Wii Fit free market to exploit.
  • Harmonix show off incredible dancing game with ‘white male’ difficulty option.
  • Sonic game to curse Kinect launch.
  • Rebel Assault 3 announced.
  • Forza Kinect enables long sought after Quicktime VR emulation.
  • Dorky Dad wins over crowd with free Xbox Quiet, crowd temporarily forgets they already own an Xbox.

Well it was a fairly safe show from Xbox. At no point did they dare upset the crowd by revealing just how much Kinect would cost, only that it would launch in time for Xmas.

A Night with Dunaway

Last night I had Cammie Dunaway over. I found it unusual that she’d be in Perth this close to E3 so I said “You’re not leaving yourself much time.”
“Hehe, for what sweety?” Cammie replied.
“E3 of course, it took me over 24 hours to fly to L.A.”
“Oh we’ve already done it silly.”
“Done E3? The press conference and everything?”
“Yeah we recorded it last week, everyone who attended is under an NDA. Only the internet hasn’t found out yet, hehehe.”

This was a lot for me to take in so I motioned for her to get back to sucking my cock. Over the next hour, when she came up for a breather, she filled me in on what happened.

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