Gamers, stop being shit and buy a Wii U

It’s been a while since I’ve done a rant, which means a lot of rage has built up. I’m going to deliver it to you right now in the form of a reality check on the state of the gaming industry. It’s gotten to such a bad state in the past few years I’ve just avoided talking or thinking about it and happily played my games. Iwata was right in 2000-2004 about graphics not being important. In 2015 he’s still right. He’s been right every time he’s opened his mouth and prophetised games declining in value (aka the end of the world) which IS NOW UPON US.

JAPAN-GAME-COMPANY-NINTENDO-DENA

Continue reading “Gamers, stop being shit and buy a Wii U”

WiiU is Failing, but it isn’t Nintendo’s fault

Good lord, I’m having déjà vu yet again! Three months into the life of the WiiU, we’re already seeing the cycle repeat itself as it did with the 3DS; sales start to stall, and third parties are no where to be seen. According to the NDP, WiiU versions of games are selling worse then the Vita! (…Vita still counts?) Nintendo didn’t do enough to advertise the WiiU and court third parties! WiiU is now doomed!

Nintendo isn’t to blame for this current mess. Continue reading “WiiU is Failing, but it isn’t Nintendo’s fault”

Wii U is bombing, and we’re OK with that

Wii U has come out and has caused an interesting reaction with the gaming community. It’s exploded onto the scene like a bird shitting on a park bench. Wii U isn’t selling as well as Wii did at this very early stage, and after skeptical claims of “artificial shortages” people are now falling over themselves to prove that Wii U is “in stock”. Yes, you can buy it. So why don’t you?

Continue reading “Wii U is bombing, and we’re OK with that”

How To Review A Videogame – 5 Easy Steps

The past week has been an eye-opener. It seems Wii U has exposed a lot of people in the media who don’t play games, with a string of lazy reviews copied from a press release or previous version of the game. It’s a tough life playing games for a living, especially during a console launch when there’s just too many games to play! Just thinking about all those games makes me sick, so I’ve put together a quick guide to help struggling journalists get through this tough time.

Continue reading “How To Review A Videogame – 5 Easy Steps”

One Hundred Mario Games In This Generation!

Which actually never happened…

After New Super Mario Bros. 2, gaming journalists complained Nintendo was releasing too many Mario games (and then they beg for more 3D ones afterwards), and is now a yearly franchise with hardly any difference and therefore sucks. This thought process further solidifies the fact gaming journalists are retarded, but why whine about something (because I r a game journalist too hur hur hur) when I can present hard evidence? Continue reading “One Hundred Mario Games In This Generation!”