Conduit 2 Wiimote Controls

I guess the timing is right to present the sequel to our Conduit/GoldenEye Wiimote Controls – my control settings for the first Conduit adapted to the sequel to The Conduit, which isn’t exactly The Conduit 2, but simply Conduit 2, a.k.a. DUKE NUKEM’s official return to video games. (The previous Note still applies, so keep those conditions in mind) My controls are geared toward an exploration/realism perspective, so it’s probably not the l337 onrine FPS’ing scheme suited to all those childish twitch-turning high-jumping strafe-running genre conventions that you were hoping to employ. I am raging infinity suns, but it’s not how I play shooty games.

Fortunately, this project includes somewhat less ranting and more explanation/analysis. Read on for screens/details and technical issues the gaming press probably didn’t mention in the reviews.

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Random QR Codes

This is a handful of Miis created by our staff. Many of these had been given birth during the magickal 2006 Holiday Season. In a short time, they became self-aware and now possess souls (some taken from small children).

If 3DS has cameras on both sides, who’s scanning who?

Update – 2011/12/30

Update – 2012/07/19

Update – 2013/01/17

random_qr4

Update – 2015/06/26

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… and don’t forget the REAL Reggie Mii

The Reggie Zone: Part 1 – Reggie Miracles

Reggie has seen many things in the hours, days, weeks, and months of racing he has competed dominated in Mario Kart Wii.  Some of which induced glorious fits of laughter, some of which compelled fits of rage capable of punting unlucky souls into another dimension.  You will now travel into this dimension; a dimension not only of sight and sound, but of mind.  A journey into a wondrous land of imagination.  Next stop, the Reggie Zone!

Continue reading “The Reggie Zone: Part 1 – Reggie Miracles”

Animal Crossing 3DS: A Thinly-Veiled Wish List of Never Happenings

Alright, quiz time!  Can you name a franchise that was suddenly demoted to the status of “casual game” when Ninty started winning and the term “kiddy” started going out of style?   I bet you can’t gu…Wait, where are you looking?  HEY, STOP CHEATING!

Yes, the answer is Animal Crossing.  The franchise no “hardcore gamer” ever had an issue with until the casual gaming plague hit the industry.

So those new to the franchise, or maybe gaming in general (don’t tell Mike if you are), Animal Crossing is one of Ninty’s top-selling franchises, introduced in Japan in 2001 for the Nintendo 64 under the title “Animal Forest.”  The game wasn’t released outside Japan until it was ported the next year to the GameCube.

The premise is simple.  You have moved to a village full of (SHOCK) animal villagers, and are set up in a home by the village’s thieving merchant, Tom Nook.  You are forced to do odd jobs and sell garbage in order to pay back the loan on your house, and as you earn more money can increase the size of your home (which you have to pay even more money for), all while collecting furniture and items to fill it with and show off to your friends.  There’s a little more to it than that, but if you care that much you can look it up yourself you lazy bums!

Due to the profitability of the franchise, it surprised exactly zero people that Ninty revealed Animal Crossing alongside the 3DS.  It also didn’t exactly wow anyone either, due to franchise issues that delve much deeper than whether or not the franchise is casual or not.  This, of course, being the fact that there have been minimal changes to the base game over the three released installments.  So is there anything worthwhile about this new installment?   Anything at ALL?

Continue reading “Animal Crossing 3DS: A Thinly-Veiled Wish List of Never Happenings”

How much Reggie can you fit into a kart? THIIIIIIIIIIIS MUCH! (not to scale)

Have you wondered what Reggie does in his spare time when he’s not off kicking ass and taking names?  He’s off playing that kiddy Mario Kart Wii game and mugging himself into every possible shot of the action!  Here are just a select few of these sightings…

Reggie gives other racers a generous head-start while he mugs for the camera.

Reggie forgets his list of names, and pulls a sharp 180 in the middle of the race to go back and get it…

Reggie makes sure the camera is watching as he takes a tight drift without even looking at the road.

Reggie shows off his wheelie doom-kart abilities.  Why?  Because HE CAN.  BUT! (PLOT TWIST) Continue reading “How much Reggie can you fit into a kart? THIIIIIIIIIIIS MUCH! (not to scale)”

Trackmania Wii

Trackmania is pure racing. Fast, challenging, and rewarding. The game doesn’t waste any time, throwing track after track at you, hundreds of them. This is what makes the game unique, it lets you experience the thrill of mastering a new track over and over again. The races aren’t against real opponents, you’re racing against set times from ghost cars you can drive right through. The only physical thing you’re racing against in this game is the track. There’s 6 different types of track environments, all full of ridiculous paths, loops and jumps.


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Reggie Kart Videos – E3 2010

Join Reggie as he celebrates the first night of E3 2010: new software announcements, 3DS, ZELDASS, glorious sales data — all this excitement rapidly increases Reggie’s appetite. Surrounded by so many “game journalists,” Reggie can’t wait to thickly forge his foot against their flabby seats. Deep down, your behind is still sore from last year’s celebration. Punt.

(video link at end of post)Reggie disapproves of any DK-themed track.

Continue reading “Reggie Kart Videos – E3 2010”

Reggie Kart Videos – E3 2009

Join Reggie as he celebrates countless servings of SORE ASS on the EVE OF E3 2009. How does Reggie relax and prepare for the show floor after flexing his Casual Might during the press conference? He cracks open a beer then TAKES NAMES on the worldwide kart circuit. Then he gets more beer and watches the replays.

(video link at end of post)
Reggie can be in two places at once. A single Mii cannot contain him.

Things take on interesting turn on the SECOND NIGHT OF E3 2009 as he patrols the worldwide servers for ASS in the name of justice. What did Reggie encounter?

Continue reading “Reggie Kart Videos – E3 2009”