Kid Icarus: Flaccid Uprising

This game is going to flop, and it’s your fault. Nintendo knows Kid Icarus: Uprising will be a tough sell, and they’ve already started a heavy advertising campaign for the game – spanning several trailers, 8 page magazine articles, hundreds of screenshots, and multiple Twitter accounts. It took the spotlight in the recent Nintendo Direct, with lengthy coverage explaining all the games features in great detail, and recently featured in Iwata Asks. There’s even going to be a special tournament event across America before the game launches, and it’s taking center stage at every event Nintendo shows up to. Why is it so important this game does well? The team developing Kid Icarus: Uprising have put the new Super Smash Bros. on hold to make this – that’s why.

Sora are pouring their heart and soul into every aspect of this game. Originally speculated as a launch game for 3DS, it’s now been over a year since the systems launch and Kid Icarus: Uprising is finally ready. It’s got an arse load of stages, a STUPID amount of custom weapons and items, and every mode under the sun including online multiplayer, StreetPass and AR Card functionality. It even comes with a stand, just in case you feel slightly uncomfortable while playing it over long sessions. They have every angle covered, so why is this a recipe for disaster? What’s wrong with the game, if it’s going to be so awesome?

Continue reading “Kid Icarus: Flaccid Uprising”

“Durpthroughs” – Fatal Frame IV – Batch 3

Ooooops, I’ve had these done for a while now, but I’ve been so busy I forgot to put them up.

In this round, Misaki battles a bully from her childhood and a new character surfaces to explore the medical wing of the creepy complex in search of the man responsible for the kidnappings.  The ghost encounter rate continues to increase as the setting gets spookier, so how long can I last!?  Enjoy!

Continue reading ““Durpthroughs” – Fatal Frame IV – Batch 3”

Fallout 3 – Class of 2077 (Journal)

*BANG*

Right through the head. The shot echoed through the wasteland, no doubt perking the ears of every creature for miles. It’s not the kind of sound you’d go running towards though, is it? Whatever, anyone in the area would just think it was raiders. How many more could there be? I had enough ammo to make the answer to that question “zero”. This school is mine.

Continue reading “Fallout 3 – Class of 2077 (Journal)”

“Durpthroughs” – Fatal Frame IV – Batch 2

What do little boys, tag teams, creepy old men, nurses, and an old, abandoned hospital have in common?

Actually, don’t answer that.  The answer is, Batch 2 of my Fatal Frame IV Durpthrough!  The ghost encounters escalate as the plot sends me fighting an unexpected and familiar villain, puts me behind the eyes of yet another character, and teases a battle against a sadistic little girl!  Enjoy!

Continue reading ““Durpthroughs” – Fatal Frame IV – Batch 2″

“Durpthroughs” – Fatal Frame IV – House of Creepy Ghosties

Okay, here it is, a new round of Durpthroughs!  This time I take on another horror game, Fatal Frame IV, developed by none other than Grasshopper Manufacture (home of Suda 51, if you are one of those heathens).  Fatal Frame IV has a rather interesting history behind it, or rather, an interesting story of why it was never localized.  See, it WOULD have been localized if not for the fact that Tecmo was too cheap to go back and fix a bunch of glitches that were in the Japanese copy of the game (a couple of which prevent progress, and others that make it impossible to 100% the game no matter what you do).  NOE had actually started promoting the game in their region before NCL decided that it just didn’t make sense to localize a game that wasn’t to their standards.  So screw you, Tecmo!

Anyway, let’s hope I can pull through the entire game without running into anything game-breaking.  So grab yourself a bowl of popcorn, turn off all the lights, and enjoy the scares (or me shrieking like a schoolgirl, whichever fits your fancy)!

Continue reading ““Durpthroughs” – Fatal Frame IV – House of Creepy Ghosties”

“Durp!” – SCE 2-for-1 Special

It’s been far too long since the last “Durp!,” hasn’t it?  Truth be told, I’ve been trying to ignore the stupid things developers have been saying just to save me the trouble of writing up about it.  But as you can clearly see, this segment is back from the dead.  As my luck would have it, two beautifully, absurdly, and nearly-impossible quotes were dropped on my groin at nearly the same time.  So what could be SO bad that it ripped me off my lazy rump and into SUPER RANT MODE?

Oh ho ho, just take a look inside and see…

Continue reading ““Durp!” – SCE 2-for-1 Special”

3DS Wall Update

It’s time for another 3DS Wall update.  As usual, games have their score from GameRankings, and all the games are scored together to give a general idea of the quality of the out put from these various publishers and developers.  Scores are rounded up and they must have at least 5 reviews to curtail outliers.  Games with no review score mean that the game has not been released yet or have not attained 5 reviews.

Without further ado, let’s have a look.

Continue reading “3DS Wall Update”

Thinking of building a gaming PC? Don’t!

Despite the overwhelming market dominance of gaming on consoles seemingly only challenged by gaming on what we used to call telephones, graphics card manufacturer nVidia are predicting a surge in the uptake of PC gaming. Do you want to be part of this hip new trend? You shouldn’t! But the stories are intoxicating, aren’t they? Tales of dedicated multiplayer servers. Rumours of true high definition gaming, powered by multicore CPUs that unleash the true power of exotic European developed game engines. Implausibly large multiplayer games supporting thousands of players simultaneously. Rumours of wonderful indie game distribution networks and those preposterously good value Steam sales. But then if you go out and look at some PCs in shops they’re all so expensive you might begin to wonder just what the big fuss regarding the PS3 launch price was even over. Then you hear another rumour, that you can save money and build a PC yourself! It all sounds too enticing and you find yourself wondering that maybe you should buy some components off the shelf and craft your very own PC. Well don’t.

Continue reading “Thinking of building a gaming PC? Don’t!”

Sites I Like – Tumblr Edition

So this was meant to be a regular column on Pietriots as I compile and write love letters to the websites that make the internet worth visiting. However, the internet would prove to be a hostile, unloving place with few sites worth mentioning. In fact it was looking so bleak that I was considering deleting my previous Sites I Like column so that the internet would never know my shame of enjoying a single piece of its content. But then I discovered Tumblr.

Tumblr Logo

Critics would have you believe that Tumblr is the worst form of social networking. A LiveJournal for idiots, if such a thing could exist, with typical site layouts designed for 640×480 monitors. Those critics are right on the money as the vast majority of tumble logs and their entries consist of little more than image memes and animated gifs, re-blogged from other worthless tumblr accounts. A giant cycle of filth perpetuates, like a tornado sucking up all the shit of the internet, swirling it around and flinging it back out. The last time I used the metaphor of a cylindrical storm though was in an academic essay when I talked about the generation of knowledge in emerging academic areas. My tutor was so impressed she suggested I do honours but I managed to turn things around and fail the unit anyway. What I’m getting at though is that in this insular land of chaos, this quagmire, beautiful content producers have emerged, delivering content that is edgy, hilarious and post-ironic. It is true irony that it is Tumblr, of all places, that I found the quality web content I required to restart Sites I Like.

Continue reading “Sites I Like – Tumblr Edition”

Forza vs Gran Turismo, which is better?

Ah, the age old question. It’s a debate that’s raged on over the internet gaming community for the past decade or so. Gran Turismo has dazzled people over the years with its fantastic presentation, wealth of options and satisfying career mode. Forza has emerged with improved driving physics and community aspects, and now thanks to Kinect support you can move your head in your living room to look around realistically inside your TV. If only there was some kind of “joystick” device for such a feature, maybe in the future. Nevertheless, both Forza and Gran Turismo have a lot to offer. For someone looking for a true racing experience, which one is the best bet?

Continue reading “Forza vs Gran Turismo, which is better?”