Category: Media

Screens, video and/or noise

Water Gun Battle (Go Vacation) – Impressions

I’ve been playing quite a lot of Go Vacation on Wii. It’s a great way to relax, which i’ve been needing lately; the game is very calm and features a lot of fun mini-games with quite a bit of work put into them. The scope is so huge that a review wouldn’t be enough to give an accurate impression of this game – there’s that many different methods of control and presentation. So instead of doing a boring wholesome review, here I’m going to talk about one of the fifty mini-games, Water Gun Battle, in the first of at least one writeup for Go Vacation.


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Geist Videos – Revisiting The Mature

About a month before suffering my Professional Engineer Exams at the end of October, I fired up Geist for the Nintendo SHEETKYUUB (actually, my Wii system) in an effort to update my aging, neglected GC video library. This recording session was the FIRST and ONLY time I played ANY “dual analog” shooter this entire generation (2006-2011). This experience was HORRIBLE. I kept tarding-out into walls like classic Resident Evil controls, and the screen was stiff and jerky while the camera dragged ass. And the enemies were kind enough to shoot me with 20-30 rifle rounds without killing me, sympathetic to your inability to be a real threat (impotence) given the limitations of the “traditional” input method.

From what I hear, today’s shooty games treat customers like children more than ever; probably because it’s the most appropriate thing to do.

Why do people keep playing like this after 10 years? (and keep paying for it?)  Why are games still made this way? What’s wrong with this industry?

Luckily, the game’s first-person adventure (FPA) principles are still intact and meaningful after all these years.

Does anyone remember the former upcoming next-generation “possession mechanic” zombie action-strategy title, Possession? Nope, nobody.

Congrats, n-Space – despite the cruel passage of time, your masterpiece is still unrivaled.

View/Download:
Geist, 7 videos (DivX)

“Durpthroughs” – Dead Island Co-op: BATCH 5 FINAL

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

I really wanted to do a special Halloween Durpthrough of a random horror game in my collection, giving you all an uncensored, uncut look into how much I freak out when I’m playing a REAL horror game.  Unfortunately, I currently sound like a frog being cranked through a meat grinder thanks to the horrible timing of a heinous mix of bronchitis and laryngitis.  So instead of something that might have been good, you get the final batch of Dead Island clips.

I completely skipped recording the prison section of the game right before the final boss because, well, I was sick of recording at the time, and didn’t realize we were so close to the end.  It’s not like you missed anything anyway.

So enjoy our last leg through the jungle, our bout with the ultimate worst final boss this generation, and finally the ridiculous closure (or lack thereof) of this miserable pile of pumpkin snot.  The horror…THE HORROR!

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“Durpthroughs” – Dead Island Co-op: Super Late Batch 4

These have been uploaded for quite a while, but I forgot to post them here on the site before I went on vacation.  Those of you who actually care probably already noticed them on PieTube, but here they are anyway.  The last batch should be up sometime in the next few days (the ending sucks, by the way, SURPRISE!), so until then enjoy the game-breaking glitches!

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escapeVektor – Chapter 1

escapeVektor is a new game on WiiWare from Australian developers Nnooo. It’s hard to compare to anything because this is a brand new gameplay concept. It’s like Pac-Man, with cannons, switches, boosting, scoring depth, and a personality. The concept has you controlling Vektor, a human who somehow got converted to computer code and is now stuck inside a CPU with no memories left, except his ability to code, of course. Now you have to capture cells in each level to escape the CPU and figure out what’s going on. escapeVektor is an intense, engaging gameplay experience that nobody should miss out on.

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SSB:Brawl 60fps Videos – Old Online Replays

Getting some housekeeping done by clearing these years-old Super Smash Bros. Brawl videos from my hard drive. This batch covers the latest 10 videos dated from June 16 to June 21, 2008. Included are few random Basic Brawls; a couple matches with fellow Pietriot, “Mario”; and some matches with Maxi from the crusty old Former Nintendo Fan Report Planet (FNFRP). See the link below.

If you remember “Mario” from FNFRP, you’re old like us =[

View/Download
Super Smash Bros. Brawl, 10 60fps videos (DivX)

“Durpthroughs” – Dead Island Co-op: Batch 3

ZOMBIES!  ZOMBIES EVERYWHERE THEY ARE ALL OVER ME GET THEM OFF!   OH GOD THEY ARE IN MY PANTS NOW IN MY PAAAAAAAAAAAAANTS!!!  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

…

And now for something completely the same:  Batch 3 of our Dead Island Durpthrough.  The second vid is the last “full” clip I’m uploading, because it’s pretty boring sitting around through the bunch of NOTHING the game tosses at us just to get to the interesting parts (where Ferny and I do crazy shit).  From then on are edited bits of chaos and stupidity.  Enjoy!

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“Durpthroughs” – Dead Island Co-op: Batch 2

Ferny and I have been cranking time into this game (mostly to just get the damn thing over with), so this time there are four videos as opposed to three!  What to look forward to in our latest adventures:

~ Our desperate attempt to find ANY (non-gun) weapons!
~ More jerk-offs who have nothing better to do than shoot at other survivors!
~ A cameo by a member of the Banoi Hockey Team!
~ Dispatching of looters just ’cause!
~ Ferny blowing me up…AGAIN…!
~ A tranny wanting us to put posters of him up around town!
~ Me blowing Ferny up for a change!
~ Endlessly spawning Infected!
~ Our fear of falling from heights of up to TEN FEET!
~ Ferny’s exquisite driving skills!
~ OOOOOO, CHAMPAGNE!
~ Ferny and I dying plenty of times!
~ Oh, and zombies…Lots and lots and lots of zombies!

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“Durpthroughs” – Dead Island Co-op: Batch 1

Hey, Bill here.  I’ve been gone for a very…very long time for a number of issues including me becoming Dr. Bill, being out of town, and me just being a lazy bastard in general.  So hopefully now that things have stabilized a bit I’m hoping I can post more material.  One thing in particular I would like to do more of in the future is game “durpthroughs.”  Durpthroughs, because I don’t have the time, nor patience, nor attention span, to record footage for an entire play through a whole game.  Instead you’ll get random clips of me (and whoever is unlucky enough to play with me for co-op sessions) durping through whatever I feel like playing or showing off at the time, either due to me being impressed with how good the game is, or how bad it is. The first game I’m doing this with is Dead Island, which has already gotten plenty of bad press since its release over its terrible balancing, multitude of glitches, and it just not being a very polished game altogether.  I managed to trick Infernal into buying the game as well, and after a number of technical issues getting footage (including mic problems, audio woes, and hell, even just joining each other in-game), we finally managed to pull it together. So toss a bag of popcorn in the microwave, pop open a fresh can of legitimate cola, and watch as Infernal and myself stumble through and make fools of ourselves in Dead Island after the break.  Enjoy!

NOT A HYPERLINK HURRRRR!

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Krystal Media Blowout – Screens and Videos

Special thanks to Deguello for providing me with explicit, uncensored access to the best moments of the StarFox franchise. This update would not be possible without him.

Let us celebrate – the release of StarFox 64 3D? NO! I don’t give a crap. This is about KRYSTAL – those eyes, that accent, that fur. I finally finished capturing the StarFox Adventures media I originally started years ago, but almost abandoned because I didn’t want to play it again to get to the critical parts (got so busy with all the casual games).

Aside from her cutscenes, some of the screenshots have great facial expressions and can be taken out of context. All this, for the sake of archiving high-quality media of Rare’s surviving legacy (maybe Retro can make a Krystal game for Wii U?). The content is stored on my homepage; see the links at the bottom.

…(deep in thought)…

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The Capcom Five – Video Memorial

NEVER FORGET

Before they cancelled Mega Man Legends 3, before they ignored Wii Pointer controls in Monster Hunter Tri, before they rewarded Resident Evil fans with rail shooters, before Dead Rising: Chop Till You Drop could handle 6 zombies at once, before they announce Resident Evil: Revelations including the free Mercenaries HD for PS Vita launching simultaneously with the 3DS version (hi-ho 2012 release date) – Capcom presented… THE FIVE.

Never one to forget 3rd Party achievements, I put this little post together to help last generation’s players and this gen’s newcomers remember the pain for years to come. Actually, before rambling about the quintet’s history that everyone’s heard before, I want to bring attention to the titles as they were announced: by sharing nice-quality versions of their debut trailers (well, 4 out of 5 of them). If we’ll remember ANY of it, let’s at least see clean copies of them; one last face-to-face before closing the casket. I know you can search for the moldy Flash videos originating from Matt C.’s IGN, but try to have some respect for the departed. Those videos came from a time when magazine, internet, and even Nintendo’s own coverage made “good” GameCube games look crappy.

Tracking down known copies of these trailers a couple years ago took some time and $rupees$. My search was narrowed to a couple auctions for rare promo DVDs from Japan, eventually making some sellers very happy. In addition, I managed to gather almost all the promo videos for these games since their announcement. One last step (took forever), each video was processed piece by piece – deinterlacing, cropping out blank borders, scaling the frames for consistency – whenever reasonable, trying to help them look their best. It’s only these past couple months that I seriously sat down to finish converting this junk. When hobbies start to feel like work… I tend to avoid them. Recently feeling an urgent sense of justice, I could delay no more.

So here’s what I got: a few custom screencaps, my personal thoughts/description of each game at inconsistent degrees of relevance, and links to the DivX-formatted media on my homepage. But seriously, I went overboard, so don’t read all of it.

This first one up was the first one to go down…

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Retroactive Video Updates

For citizens that like their online video to look like mud, I embedded clips into some old articles to help (quickly) illustrate the points I was trying to make (some dining establishments have pictures in their menus for a reason, right?). Trying to make a habit out of this to be consistent with future poasts.

You’re playing it wrong – The Crystal Bearers


Super Monkey Ball: Banana Blitz FPS Videos


Whatever the hell YouTube’s 480p setting is… isn’t. >=[

You’re playing it right – Rune Factory: Frontier

After 2 slow years – more than 220 hours of inconsistent on-off indulgent gameplay – I had gotten to a desired level of satisfaction in Rune Factory: Frontier.  Can’t quite say that I wasted lots of time, since I savored so much of it. Full of repetitive (but profitable) tasks, blushing faces, sexy voicework, and adorable chitchat, I consider this to be my “Animal Crossing”; a relaxed, low-intensity enjoyment of cleverly interconnected content that doesn’t get tossed out after the first-month’s internet hype has already died and found something new to whine about. My Game of the Years, indeed.

In one (real time) week of play (last month) did all the crazy stuff come crashing at the end of the game’s calendar year: got MARRIED on FISTMAS EVE, beat the MAIN QUEST, started another SPRING SEASON, skipped thru SPRING SEASON, and entered a world of brand new CUTE BATHING SUITS.  While the timing was incredible, I didn’t exactly plan it this way (the bikinis had been the Top-Priority! above all else)(and I didn’t cheat my way out of Runey management, BILL).  The rapid chain of rewards/events simply served to amplify the sense of accomplishment. So much hawtness in such a short time.

Below, I share my joy. (JUICY SUMMER TIME IMAGERY, AHOY)

Continue reading “You’re playing it right – Rune Factory: Frontier” →