I can’t win any matches of Fortnite or Apex Legends because the whole scene is dominated by zoomers pepped up on amphetamines and decked out in microtransactions. So it’s nice to play a real game that real gamers like me, who suffer early onset arthritis in their thumbs, can win once in a while.
The Quiet Side of Grand Theft Auto V
A broken man stands on a hill atop the city. His family in disarray, past heavy with regret and future in a body bag, he doesn’t have much hope left. Yet here he stands, completely stunned by the aura of the moon. His problems shrink in the ambient neon lights of the city, which in turn shrink to the stars in the sky. This moment is rare and fleeting, but it tells you to go on. It happens just often enough that the life of crime, death and corruption can be looked at with the right perspective. We are lucky to be human.
Continue reading “The Quiet Side of Grand Theft Auto V”Horizon Chase Turbo – Arcade Racing Isn’t Dead
Punk’s not dead and neither is speed. Horizon Chase Turbo delivers colourful thrills at over 300kph and has crashed into the Nintendo eShop at full speed. If you’ve recently found yourself enjoying the 12th port of Outrun and reminiscing the good old days, this could be the game that makes you feel alive again.
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Matto’s Favorite Sesame Street Moments
Carol Spinney, the original voice and puppeteer behind Big Bird since Sesame Street first aired back in 1969, retired recently, so everyone was talking about Big Bird’s best moments. Sure, nobody can argue the emotional impact that was “I’ll Miss You, Mr. Hooper” (if you don’t cry at this, you are not a human being), but in all honesty, even growing up and out of watching something like Sesame Street, I have to state a controversial opinion… I never really liked Big Bird, ever. Even when I loyally watched the show as a little kid, I didn’t like Big Bird. Continue reading “Matto’s Favorite Sesame Street Moments”
A Solitary Review of Gaming in 2018
The end of the year usually means everyone and their dog is doing some kind of year in review or “Best of The Year” list for various items.
Twenty Nineteen Goals
After the massive success of sharing my goals, and importantly my plan, to complete the Pokédex last year, I’m going to repeat this with my gaming and blog goals for 2019. I found it very helpful to have a plan to refer back to to keep myself on task and written justifications for motivation. Even if you don’t read it, having it publicly posted will be enough to keep me accountable to avoid the embarrassment of not following through. But hectoring me in the comments helps. Like last time, this post will be updated to cross things off as they’re completed and modified if things go awry.
The Nintendo News app on Switch is the best thing
With the Nintendo News app on the Switch, the following things won’t occur:
- Seeing ResetEra level hot-takes.
- Stupid user comments.
- Concern trolling editorials.
- Being force recommended terrible Nintendo opinion videos on YouTube when you try to watch Nintendo Directs.
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OPUS – Loneliness and hope
From independent Taiwanese developer Sigono, the pair of games OPUS are linked by their common themes and aesthetic rather than their gameplay or story. Both games share themes of loneliness and hope, with characters isolated in the distant future, determined to complete a seemingly impossible task that was thrust upon them. Despite these similarities, both games can stand alone, they don’t refer to each other, and are a testament to the diversity of unique gaming experiences we’re so lucky to enjoy today.
Continue reading “OPUS – Loneliness and hope”Nintendo Direct DeConfirmed (updated)
Update: Nintendo Direct cancelled due to US Government shutdown.
Our inside source at Nintendo said that with the release dates for Yoshi’s Crafted World and Kirby’s Extra Epic Yarn being announced via press release today, the Nintendo Direct initially planned for the 11th of January has been shelved indefinitely.
Nintendo had previously delayed their direct presentations after natural disasters ravaged Japan. According to our insider, the most recently delay was due to fears the US President might institute autocratic rule, distracting customers from Nintendo’s message. Since the White House address was a bit of a fizzer, the direct may still go live next week.
Continue reading “Nintendo Direct DeConfirmed (updated)”GRIS – Comfortable Discomfort
You’ve lost yourself. Material objects lay scattered under a decorated tree, endless plates of food are spread across a table, but the holiday spirit has drained the life out of you. There’s no reason for any of this when you just want to lie down. You open the eShop in a desperate search for salvation, but it paralyses you further. So many meaningless titles. Pages and pages of sales. Now you are falling perpetually with no landing in sight, as the bottom of the screen never fills. Suddenly one name stands out, GRIS? The gameplay is a bit unclear but it’s a game about loss with some very high quality art. This might just do it. This might fill the emptiness within your soul.
1979 Revolution: Black Friday
Forty years ago, revolution swept Iran. The western backed autocrat, Mohammad Reza Shah Pahlavi was ousted from power by a popular coalition of forces and an Islamic republic, led by Allah’s apparent representative Ruhollah Khomeini, was established. 1979 Revolution: Black Friday tells the story of Black Friday, a turning point of the revolution, through the lens of fictional photo journalist Reza Shirazi. It’s less a traditional video game and more a kind of edutainment interactive historical drama, with developer iNK Stories borrowing heavily from the Telltale Games formula to immerse the player in the chaos of revolution.
Playing Smash Bros with items turned off doesn’t teach you about life
There’s a correct way to play Smash Bros; 4 players, timed match, 2:30, items on, stage hazards on, random stage select. Any other way is wrong. This setup not only creates the most volatile and chaotic matches, but also the ones most likely to see the best players thrive. As anyone who has made it past the third grade of school knows, life is unfair. So why should your video game be any different? Smash Brothers teaches you how to cope with unfairness, how to handle chaos and how to seize opportunities to get ahead in life. Playing stock matches, without items creates not only a saccharine gaming experience, but also a generation of gutless imbeciles. Disagree? Well keep reading to find out why you’re wrong.
Continue reading “Playing Smash Bros with items turned off doesn’t teach you about life”Splatfest – Heroes and Villains
I just wanted to feel something. The Heroes vs. Villains Splatfest seemed like a no-brainer to me at first. I try to be a good person and Nintendo’s Smash heroes are some of the best role models a person can have. What does it mean for us though, to be “good” in a videogame that is about winning and splatting people? You’re always going to be a villain to somebody. Even the person of purest intentions is going to do something wrong or be misunderstood at some point, so I decided to cut my losses and pick the Villain side from the get-go.
Chasm – Comfyvania
In the depths of the Nintendo eShop lies a treasure. Navigating through randomly generated sales offers, new releases and upcoming titles, you’ll find this gem buried somewhere a few pages back. Chasm is an ambitious game that takes the modern procedural approach and applies it to the classic handheld Castlevania formula. Groan, another randomly generated game? I know, I know. I am sick of them too, but I picked this game up because I wanted a new GBAvania experience so badly. There’s a lot of action games and loot games in the formula, but nothing based on exploration quite like this. It’s a very specific itch that needed scratching.
Rise of the Tomb Raider – Press A to Rise
This game starts off in the most disorienting way possible, with a dramatic climbing sequence in the snowy mountains full of quick-time button prompts. Press A. Press X. Twirl the stick and mash Y. It’s a great way to not learn how this game plays at all. It’s not too hard, just confusing. You’ll be holding up on the analog stick most of the time, watching Lara jump perfectly across gaps and grab her wall of choice. You are left guessing which direction Lara is going to jump as the camera swings wildly on its own. Just press A and hope for the best. Press X to grab the wall. Oh, okay. I did that I guess? Oh no, I fell. Wait, I’m meant to fall. Really got me there, game. The whole scene is just overly stressful despite barely any button inputs happening at all. It gave me a horrible first impression as the game felt very phony and I hadn’t even played a Tomb Raider game before and didn’t know any backstory to this game. I was ready to delete the game after this and move on.
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Pietriots 