2004 – Nintendo Is Doomed

2004, Nintendo is struggling with the GameCube and losing the support of third parties. Game Boy Advance is doing well but the future is in doubt as the threat of a competent Sony handheld looms. After a kiddy Zelda game (that will never get a remake) gamers were desperately clinging to the hope of a proper “realistic” Zelda. A poor marketing campaign for Super Mario Sunshine didn’t help matters, where are the traditional Mario games? The future of the system was dependent on instant megaton announcements that didn’t happen, and Resident Evil 4 which was no longer an exclusive game. E3 2004 changed everything, with the introduction of a new system and a new attitude.

Reggie-Nintendo-DS1

Continue reading “2004 – Nintendo Is Doomed”

Nintendo’s Corroboree

Anyone ever had one of those mornings where you pass in and out of consciousness? When the dreams feel so real you have conversations with the people in them later about what they said in the dream and they look at you all confused? That has been me all week, passing in and out of consciousness inside my E3 mattress fort. I told Bill I was going to snuggle up for an hour before the Microsoft conference, when I woke it was dark and cold and when I woke again I was eating bananas and Vita-bix while Jack Tretton announced an htc phone as the new Playstation. I’m not really sure when I woke up or if I was ever asleep, but I’m here in the university library now and I have to tell you about the other part of my dream; Nintendo’s Corroboree. Continue reading “Nintendo’s Corroboree”

From Chat: 9 minutes in Hyrule

Pro was sampling some Legend of Rehash 3D during a chat. Somehow, old gaming led to current events.

Pro Daisy: ok, Wind Waker’s most important innovation is the R-trigger block pull
Pro Daisy: none of this climb/grab bullshit
Pro Daisy: uh oh, link is in the garden, CALL HOMELAND SECURITY
Bill Aurion: haha, yeah, climb/grab is annoying, particularly when you are in a hurry (after hitting a timed switch)
Pro Daisy: castle courtyard
Pro Daisy: this is my big chance
Pro Daisy: to kill zelda
Pro Daisy: if i kill her now, none of this Celda, this Waggle, this Wii would’ve happened
Pro Daisy: change the course of history forever
Bill Aurion: can’t change DESTINY
Pro Daisy: how did i get past the guards? fake ID and shoe bombs
Pro Daisy: this scene in the courtyard with zelda… has huge significance in the industry
Pro Daisy: i bet this is where many future game designers began their “games are art” erections
Pro Daisy: “I am Zelda, Princess of Hyrule. What is your name?”
Pro Daisy: “…”

“MY NAME IS REGGIE
Pro Daisy: “Strange… it sounds shomehow… familiar.”

“You saw our E3 presentation?”
Grubdog: the triforce of KICKIN ASS
Grubdog: the triforce of TAKIN NAMES
Grubdog: the triforce of MAKIN GAMES
Pro Daisy: !!
Bill Aurion: the triforce of NOT LOCALIZING GAMES
Grubdog: thats covered in #2
Bill Aurion: HRRRRN

Nintendo E3 2011 Press Conference Premonition

People will call me a hippy when I say this but I’ve always felt a resonance with Nintendo consoles. They speak to me through channels I can’t describe. This isn’t some delusional fanboy shit – this is real hippy waves of energy that you just gotta feel, man. When Project Dolphin was announced I was living on a tropical island in the Pacific; when Project Revolution was announced I was a political activist; and for the past year or so I’ve worked as a barista.
Project Café.

Today I was working and thinking a lot about E3 and how it was going to change my life and give me new meaning and direction, man. I looked down at the latte I was making and there I saw it: everything I needed to know about Project Cafe. I was just like Agent Morgan from Deadly Premonition, ciphering messages from the milk and coffee. I stared at it in a trance and it all came to me. This is how it will take place at E3…

Agent Morgan
F.K in the coffee. it never fails.

Continue reading “Nintendo E3 2011 Press Conference Premonition”

The Reggie Zone: Part 1 – Reggie Miracles

Reggie has seen many things in the hours, days, weeks, and months of racing he has competed dominated in Mario Kart Wii.  Some of which induced glorious fits of laughter, some of which compelled fits of rage capable of punting unlucky souls into another dimension.  You will now travel into this dimension; a dimension not only of sight and sound, but of mind.  A journey into a wondrous land of imagination.  Next stop, the Reggie Zone!

Continue reading “The Reggie Zone: Part 1 – Reggie Miracles”

How much Reggie can you fit into a kart? THIIIIIIIIIIIS MUCH! (not to scale)

Have you wondered what Reggie does in his spare time when he’s not off kicking ass and taking names?  He’s off playing that kiddy Mario Kart Wii game and mugging himself into every possible shot of the action!  Here are just a select few of these sightings…

Reggie gives other racers a generous head-start while he mugs for the camera.

Reggie forgets his list of names, and pulls a sharp 180 in the middle of the race to go back and get it…

Reggie makes sure the camera is watching as he takes a tight drift without even looking at the road.

Reggie shows off his wheelie doom-kart abilities.  Why?  Because HE CAN.  BUT! (PLOT TWIST) Continue reading “How much Reggie can you fit into a kart? THIIIIIIIIIIIS MUCH! (not to scale)”